I didn't fully comprehend the cost of eldercare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah what do families do when the money runs out?

The next generation goes into debt?

The elderly person goes on Medicaid and into a Medicaid bed in a nursing home.

I really doubt this system will continue as is, with the cuts from current administration. Only a portion of homes are Medicaid beds anyway.
Nursing homes are also exorbitant. The whole system is ridiculous - so very expensive, with little quality of life.

[Anonymous]

May I also share real numbers? My mom passed away at 96, 7 years ago, in NYC, for context, so high cost of living area and some time ago. She started in independent/assisted living in a 1-bedroom apt. And needed to add 7/24 care. At that time, those costs equaled $25,000 a month or $300,000 a year.

A CCRC would have been preferable perhaps. Remaining in a suburban house or apartment was not what she wanted to do once she no longer could drive. Although uber could have helped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry.
You'll here half the population saying "shouldn't an old person be able to just stay in their own home" vs. the other half that will say "this is how you move the elderly out and make homes available for new generations."

It's not even about making those houses available (which is pretty gross). It's about a realistic approach to making sure people get the medical, personal, and social attention they need

I agree. This isn’t about homes or inheritance. This is where a decision is required that realistically addresses the needs of multiple generations - Adult kids who drive themselves into the ground taking care of elders, and the grandkids who end up neglected because their parents time is spent helping elders in their home. It is not right and it is a selfish thing to not consider all the people impacted. Any home/inheritance is better spent on a solution today that ensures parents are able have time to take care of their growing children during their formative years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why my plan is to kill myself if I get in this situation. I’d rather leave my money to my kids than burn through it all myself.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah what do families do when the money runs out?

The next generation goes into debt?

The elderly person goes on Medicaid and into a Medicaid bed in a nursing home.

I really doubt this system will continue as is, with the cuts from current administration. Only a portion of homes are Medicaid beds anyway.
Nursing homes are also exorbitant. The whole system is ridiculous - so very expensive, with little quality of life.

Right, so they move in with family i guess. Or they dont get the proper care they need. I dont honestly know what we will do, hence needing to have a convo with him. I assume he thinks he wont live long but who knows.

But while I love my dad, I dont think I can sacrafice my kids college or needs to pour all my money to my dad. At least he made it to 90 before he needed any care. I

Does LTC insurance help with this? I keep hearing such mixed reviews.

[Anonymous]

It’s too late for LTC insurance if he is 90.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah what do families do when the money runs out?

The next generation goes into debt?

The elderly person goes on Medicaid and into a Medicaid bed in a nursing home.

I really doubt this system will continue as is, with the cuts from current administration. Only a portion of homes are Medicaid beds anyway.
Nursing homes are also exorbitant. The whole system is ridiculous - so very expensive, with little quality of life.

Right, so they move in with family i guess. Or they dont get the proper care they need. I dont honestly know what we will do, hence needing to have a convo with him. I assume he thinks he wont live long but who knows.

But while I love my dad, I dont think I can sacrafice my kids college or needs to pour all my money to my dad. At least he made it to 90 before he needed any care. I

Does LTC insurance help with this? I keep hearing such mixed reviews.

Be sure to share this message with your kids so they know to disregard your wishes when you get old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s too late for LTC insurance if he is 90.

Oh yes. I meant whether i should buy it lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah what do families do when the money runs out?

The next generation goes into debt?

The elderly person goes on Medicaid and into a Medicaid bed in a nursing home.

I really doubt this system will continue as is, with the cuts from current administration. Only a portion of homes are Medicaid beds anyway.
Nursing homes are also exorbitant. The whole system is ridiculous - so very expensive, with little quality of life.

Right, so they move in with family i guess. Or they dont get the proper care they need. I dont honestly know what we will do, hence needing to have a convo with him. I assume he thinks he wont live long but who knows.

But while I love my dad, I dont think I can sacrafice my kids college or needs to pour all my money to my dad. At least he made it to 90 before he needed any care. I

Does LTC insurance help with this? I keep hearing such mixed reviews.

Be sure to share this message with your kids so they know to disregard your wishes when you get old.

Ha ha. Well staying at home is not something i can ever imagine doing! But who knows what will happen by the time I am 90, God willing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah what do families do when the money runs out?

The next generation goes into debt?

The elderly person goes on Medicaid and into a Medicaid bed in a nursing home.

Except if you are cheating the system, you have to have basically no money (I forget but I think it was a $2K limit and you can only keep about $75 a month of your social security check). We had to do it for my MIL and it was less than ideal and few good nursing homes take it. It is good when the money runs out but I'd rather spend the money and have someone well cared for.

[Anonymous]

These costs seem inflated. I know people who care for people who need help that make nowhere near that.

[Anonymous]

LTC might help if you are considering buying it for yourself. As the PP said, it's too late for your dad.

You definitely need to talk to your dad and fully understand his finances. How long can he pay for full time care? What are his issues? Some progress much faster than others.

You might try at home care and see if he can realistically reduce hours. If not, then he has to be made aware that if he runs out of money he will have to find a Medicaid bed if he qualifies.

We've had to repeatedly talk to our parents about the reality.

[Anonymous]

My parents swore up and down they would never be a burden. Guess what? When you're 90 staring at the end of life, mindsets change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These costs seem inflated. I know people who care for people who need help that make nowhere near that.

Right. I think the difference is whether the caretakers have medial training--like a nurse in your house 24-7 or just a person who can help you walk, use the bathroom, bathe, prepare food for you, etc., but not providing actual medical care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LTC might help if you are considering buying it for yourself. As the PP said, it's too late for your dad.

You definitely need to talk to your dad and fully understand his finances. How long can he pay for full time care? What are his issues? Some progress much faster than others.

You might try at home care and see if he can realistically reduce hours. If not, then he has to be made aware that if he runs out of money he will have to find a Medicaid bed if he qualifies.

We've had to repeatedly talk to our parents about the reality.

Yeah my brother keeps saying he has the money but I realized my brother doesn't fully understand how much money my dad has. My relationship with my dad is so weird since my mom died this all sucks