Vacations with other families

[Anonymous]

I try to do this with our family and always feel on edge because I never know if they are going to get the best version of DH or the worst. So either happy and charming, or drinking and over the top. Anyone else feel like this? I need to accept that I cannot control the behavior of others but it is hard.

[Anonymous]

I don't mind vacationing with other families as long as we aren't sharing accommodations or a car. I won't go on golf trips where the men golf all day and the women stay home with the kids - we did this once, not knowing what I was getting into, and it was a total waste of money and PTO for me.

[Anonymous]

We don't vacation with other families because we learned early on that it's too hard to make priorities match up. Agree with PP it's find if you don't share accommodations and you can just meet up to do some things but can also split up. Also, yes, everyone needs downtime to not be "on" including your DH who sounds like he gets stressed sometimes during vacations and needs to have opportunities to do his own things sometimes. Every member of my family is this way which is why sharing a vacation house is sort of tortuous for us.

[Anonymous]

We don’t vacation with non-family members because we like to chill and generally fly by the seat of our pants during vacation. Why do you want to do something that stresses you?

[Anonymous]

Yes good point, I always think of him as an extrovert but I bet he needs downtime too.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your husband has a drinking problem. Maybe focus on that before focusing on vacationing with other people.

[Anonymous]

I have reservations about vacationing with other families but it has nothing to do with my husband and his potential behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your husband has a drinking problem. Maybe focus on that before focusing on vacationing with other people.

This. We have a group of people with him on vacation, but there are no alcoholics involved.

[Anonymous]

I'm only willing to vacation with extended family and it has to be the kind of vacation that doesn't require everyone to be doing the same thing. I don't want to organize around other people's preferences when I'm on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Hell is other people. Vacationing with other people is a special level of hell.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you have a DH problem. But I think it's just too much work to coordinate with other families. And I never let other people watch my kids near water. If everyone's watching, no one is watching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind vacationing with other families as long as we aren't sharing accommodations or a car. I won't go on golf trips where the men golf all day and the women stay home with the kids - we did this once, not knowing what I was getting into, and it was a total waste of money and PTO for me.

Ha! I think this sounds really fun.

[Anonymous]

It works when both families get along and not too needy. We recently traveled with another family and we only hung out together 30% of the time. I also prefer not to be in the same house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I try to do this with our family and always feel on edge because I never know if they are going to get the best version of DH or the worst. So either happy and charming, or drinking and over the top. Anyone else feel like this? I need to accept that I cannot control the behavior of others but it is hard.

I hate to break it to you but this isn't your problem. Your problem is that you are apparently married to an alcoholic. Stop focusing on the vacations - think about what your kids are seeing all the time. YIKES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your husband has a drinking problem. Maybe focus on that before focusing on vacationing with other people.

+100

I will vacation with other (select) families. I will not be married to a drunk.