Wife wants me to pick up baby in the middle of the day

[Anonymous]

Our 5 month old is in daycare now, my wife recently went back to work but she works a part time hourly job. I’m full time with a hybrid work schedule. She wants me to both drop our baby off and pick her up doing half days because she’s young and my wife is trying to ease her in to it. But this is not working, I have a varied schedule with lots of meetings, sometimes I need to be in the office, and it’s overall very disruptive to my work flow. My wife is part time but sometimes has a meeting in the early afternoon. I’m telling her that if she can’t pick up the baby halfway through the day then we will need to leave her at daycare all day. But she’s afraid of leaving our daughter there for so long. What do we do!!! This is so frustrating.

[Anonymous]

Well, for how long? I could see this for a week or two when you first start daycare, and you just make sure than one or both of you has a meeting-free afternoon.

But this won’t work long term, obviously.

Pro tip: think of better phrasing than “if you u won’t do it, then it’s not happening.”

[Anonymous]

We had our kid in a full day of daycare at seven weeks, so that's the perspective I'm coming from, but yeah I don't see how that works. Even if you had time to get her every day, you can't parent a five month old and work at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, for how long? I could see this for a week or two when you first start daycare, and you just make sure than one or both of you has a meeting-free afternoon.

But this won’t work long term, obviously.

Pro tip: think of better phrasing than “if you u won’t do it, then it’s not happening.”

This, a transition is normal, doing this full time is not.

It's also just silly to pick up a 5 month old at 1 or 2PM because that's often their long nap time. Doing a transition just before nap isn't a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Maybe your first concern should be how your wife is feeling. 5 months is little and it can be very hard to leave them in the care of others. Stop thinking about how inconvenient this is for you and start asking yourself how you can help her with this transition.

[Anonymous]

Your wife wants her baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your first concern should be how your wife is feeling. 5 months is little and it can be very hard to leave them in the care of others. Stop thinking about how inconvenient this is for you and start asking yourself how you can help her with this transition.

Yep. The plan sounds unreasonable. I think DW is in meltdown over this transition period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your first concern should be how your wife is feeling. 5 months is little and it can be very hard to leave them in the care of others. Stop thinking about how inconvenient this is for you and start asking yourself how you can help her with this transition.

+1

[Anonymous]

Can you each take turns?

I had to leave my premature baby in daycare because I had no other choice, and it broke my heart. A 5 months old, healthy infant, can be left for a full day, sure. But maybe sometimes you can each pick her up early? Maybe on Fridays?

[Anonymous]

Your wife's feelings are real and should be addressed, but not by picking up the baby in the middle of the day. You need to work and cannot do that and care for a baby at the same time. There is absolutely no reason the baby needs to be picked up early afternoon, that's nap time anyway!

Can you gently encourage her to tell you why she is scared of leaving the baby there all day?

[Anonymous]

Parents who love their kids deeply need 2 paychecks and have no flexibility manage to deal with daycare for infants.
Wife needs to decide stay home or full day daycare. Sheesh. Real first world drama

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our 5 month old is in daycare now, my wife recently went back to work but she works a part time hourly job. I’m full time with a hybrid work schedule. She wants me to both drop our baby off and pick her up doing half days because she’s young and my wife is trying to ease her in to it. But this is not working, I have a varied schedule with lots of meetings, sometimes I need to be in the office, and it’s overall very disruptive to my work flow. My wife is part time but sometimes has a meeting in the early afternoon. I’m telling her that if she can’t pick up the baby halfway through the day then we will need to leave her at daycare all day. But she’s afraid of leaving our daughter there for so long. What do we do!!! This is so frustrating.

Dude. You need to make it work. Block your diary. Make it known you have pickup on such and such days at x hour and make them respect that. This is what normal workers do.

Signed, another dude who was doing that shit 20 years ago. It's not that hard.

Also, quit whining. Man up already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 5 month old is in daycare now, my wife recently went back to work but she works a part time hourly job. I’m full time with a hybrid work schedule. She wants me to both drop our baby off and pick her up doing half days because she’s young and my wife is trying to ease her in to it. But this is not working, I have a varied schedule with lots of meetings, sometimes I need to be in the office, and it’s overall very disruptive to my work flow. My wife is part time but sometimes has a meeting in the early afternoon. I’m telling her that if she can’t pick up the baby halfway through the day then we will need to leave her at daycare all day. But she’s afraid of leaving our daughter there for so long. What do we do!!! This is so frustrating.

Dude. You need to make it work. Block your diary. Make it known you have pickup on such and such days at x hour and make them respect that. This is what normal workers do.

Signed, another dude who was doing that shit 20 years ago. It's not that hard.

Also, quit whining. Man up already.

Did you even read? Not an end of day pickup - a middle of the workday pickup.

DP

[Anonymous]

Leave the baby full day. They'll be fine

[Anonymous]

Your wife should stay home with the baby