Guy keeps wanting to come over immediately

[Anonymous]

I met a guy while OLD in 2021, and ended up dating someone else for a number of years. I recently started dating again and reached out to him. He is also single now. However, he has kept wanting me to come over on short notice at night (offering to get me an uber) when I needed to be asleep fairly early. This has happened on weekends and weeknights. The last two nights he has wanted late night sex, but told him I needed to go to sleep by 10:30 to be up for a 5 am workday start. He said one night late wouldn't harm my career, and it was a yellow flag that I'm not being flexible. He texted me again today a bit earlier in the afternoon (after I guess he realized I was serious about the late night thing) and wants to come over to hook up. He told me he will ask me out on proper dates after we have sex given that we've known each other so long (we've never had sex before because I started dating someone else the last time I was single). I keep telling him that I'm looking for a long-term, serious partnership and yesterday he texted that if we end up not being compatible sexually, we can go back to being friends - but basically he wants sex first and says he will ask me out on proper dates later. Honestly, it wouldn't be that hard to plan a museum or dinner date with me. What should I do? It's kind of wild to me but I haven't dated much in the last 4-5 years, so maybe his proposal is totally fine?

[Anonymous]

He sounds extremely low effort. He can't even pretend to care about taking you out, which should be the bare minimum. I would hard pass on this guy. You can do much better.

[Anonymous]

omg op you can't be this stupid.

are you saying he's not taking you on dates and just wants you to come over for a booty call???

you need to block this guy. He is an ass who just wants to waste your time and have sex with you while not even taking you to dinner.

[Anonymous]

What? Ghost immediately

[Anonymous]

He’s going to sleep with you and ghost.

Look, I love casual sex. But I still expect SOME sort of effort besides “come over last minute and service me”. I wouldn’t even be able to get turned on with a guy like him, not sure why you would.

Tell him you’re looking for something serious and he’s not it. Then stop talking to him.

[Anonymous]

Op, you being extra stubborn in this case. Go out with him, make plans to sleep over or something and then decide if it is worth pursuing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you being extra stubborn in this case. Go out with him, make plans to sleep over or something and then decide if it is worth pursuing.

OP here. I think I was just taken off guard because (1) he wanted to hook up immediately (instead of planning to hang out a couple days in advance like we would if we went on a date), (2) he seemed to keep pushing me to hook up late at night when I had to work at 5 am the next day and was already in bed when he reached out. Had he planned a couple afternoon dates, I probably wouldn't have thought twice. On Saturday evening, he texted me saying that his intuition was suggesting that if we didn't have sex that night our relationship wouldn't happen (because perhaps I would find someone else). That seemed kind of odd to me.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Now he's agreeing to have a baby with me and said he will be 100 percent in if we are successful. Oh lordy. And he wants to come over again tonight.

[Anonymous]

It is 💯% clear to me that this guy ONLY wants you for one thing and one thing only.

He is so transparent about it too!!

He could take you out on a proper date if he so desired - - he just does not want to that is all!!

Do not waste your time w/this snake… unless you are only looking for a hook-up which I don’t think you are.

Leave this one alone!

[Anonymous]

Omg you need to pull yourself up and stop hanging around with scum. You can do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Now he's agreeing to have a baby with me and said he will be 100 percent in if we are successful. Oh lordy. And he wants to come over again tonight.

He sounds like he is having a mental health episode.

Also, do women actually sleep with guys who behave like this? It’s so pathetic, he sounds like he basically wants a free prostitute. Tell him there are paid sex workers who will cater to his whims.

[Anonymous]

Don’t be desperate. He’s literally already told you everything you need to know about him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Now he's agreeing to have a baby with me and said he will be 100 percent in if we are successful. Oh lordy. And he wants to come over again tonight.

Block him. Go to therapy so you don't even entertain the IDEA of men like this at all. Get higher standards for yourself.

[Anonymous]

OP here with an update. He came over smelling like beer and couldn’t perform. I’m thinking pass on this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. He came over smelling like beer and couldn’t perform. I’m thinking pass on this one.

OP here. One more thing. He kept asking me to text my friends to come over to have sex with me tonight since he couldn’t perform and enjoyed watching others, but all of my friends have jobs and wouldn’t do that. And other guys I’ve dated are potentially serious prospects. Anyways probably time to move on from him.