DH doesn’t acknowledge mothers day

[Anonymous]

DH and I have two girls 4 and 7. He’s never acknowledged me on Mother’s Day even though every year I’ve asked, and acknowledge Father day for him.

Growing up both of these holidays were important in my household and each parent would take the kids to pick out a gift for the other parent and also make handmade gifts when we were young.

I don’t like the model it shows our girls that I get ignored. What is the best solution here? Do I just take the girls shopping with DH’s credit card? I’m tired of being disappointed each year. The girls even as themselves to be taken shopping and he doesn’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Have you communicated that this is important to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you communicated that this is important to you?

Yes, I have clearly communicated that this important many many times.

[Anonymous]

What a loser.

[Anonymous]

Quit doing Father’s Day.

Change the day to be an excursion you spend with the family: a brunch, a picnic, a day trip that you like. This takes to pressure off of gifts. Buy yourself something if you want. In a few years the kids can do something on their own for you.

Right now you’re set up for disappointment. Change the narrative so it’s a positive experience for everyone. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

You married wrong.

[Anonymous]

Stop acknowledging Fathers Day.

[Anonymous]

What is this person like the 364 other days of the year?

What does he say when you ask him to acknowledge it?

[Anonymous]

The girls ask to be taken shopping by him and he doesn't do it? And he knows it's important to you? Does he have any defense to this? Because that is over-the-top crappy.

If this is truly an isolated issue (truly), then I'd ask a trusted friend next year. "Hey Susan, Tim NEVER does anything to help Larla and Larlo get me a Mother's Day gift. It's a super bummer, and they actually really want to do it and I would love it. Would you do me a favor and take them shopping to buy me something and get me a card? I'll pay."

Great for a close family friend who doesn't have kids or is past the little kid stage, and is good with your kids. I can think of three people right off the top of my head I could ask this to. Oh, and I would ABSOLUTELY tell him you're doing it.

If it's not an isolated incident (seems like the most likely option, most people aren't jerks in a vacuum) it sounds like it's time for marriage counseling.

[Anonymous]

What occasions do you celebrate?

VD, anniversary, birthdays, religious holidays, secular holidays?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. Maybe remind him that he's teaching his daughters what kind of treatment they should expect from their future spouses.

[Anonymous]

He is a loser. Next year you book a mother/daughters trip to a resort for the weekend and go all out.

He will never learn and you should not be having a sad day. F that.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with the usual advice to ignore Fathers Day because who wants to model this race to the bottom for their kids?

[Anonymous]

Don't have any more kids with him. Teach your daughters to do better than you in finding a mate. And no judgement, mine is no gem either.

[Anonymous]

Im sorry, OP. My kids’ teachers took this on when the kids were that age and made sure that the kids made me something at school.