Difficult friend ghosted ME

[Anonymous]

I know I should be partially relieved because I often felt I was walking on eggshells with her, but I’m also sort of miffed she is the one who ghosted me. I can’t even quite figure out what I did either.

Anyone btdt?

[Anonymous]

Maybe because you talk about them online so much.

[Anonymous]

Let it go, move on.

[Anonymous]

She's probably found someone else to be difficult with.

[Anonymous]

She did you a favor.

[Anonymous]

I had a friend with BPD and when I didn't like her boyfriend (military man, still married but "single" Dad to 4 kids stationed away from mentally ill ex) she dropped me after a decade of friendship.

He cheated on her. She still has never spoken to me again.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you were the difficult one.

[Anonymous]

Was it you for sure? What was the reason behind it? Are you always so judgmental? Do you have completely different politics? Are you constantly critical? Are you just plain rude and annoying? Some friendships simply have an expiration date. Perhaps she has simply outgrown you and doesn't have much in common with you anymore, so she has chosen to go in a completely different direction with her life, and she feels better without you in her life? Have you caused her distress and difficulty at a time in her life when she needed that the least?

[Anonymous]

I know how you feel! There’s a woman who wants to be friends and is lowkey asking why I don’t text her more but then she is in Europe for spring break and never told me anything. She isn’t obligated but didn’t she want to be friends friends?! Always asking what’s new with me etc?

[Anonymous]

That's a godsend. Be thankful. And be strong when she finally reaches out to you. Ghosting her back is totally acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I should be partially relieved because I often felt I was walking on eggshells with her, but I’m also sort of miffed she is the one who ghosted me. I can’t even quite figure out what I did either.

Anyone btdt?

That's funny - you think SHE was the difficult one!

[Anonymous]

You are too pushy. Everything always is your way. Do some self-reflection. Here you go again, blaming her! It’s you!

[Anonymous]

Have you posted about her here, trying to figure out if/how to end the friendship? Was she very demanding of your time, having meltdowns if you were not at her beck and call? Just checking if you’re the poster I recall. Regardless, I agree that you should count your blessings (and self-reflect - not to figure out why she ghosted you but to understand why you tolerated this friendship for so long).

[Anonymous]

If the dynamic was difficult for you, maybe it was also difficult for her, and she finally decided to let it go.

An example of how this might work would be if she was confiding in you about challenges she was having, and you were getting annoyed by hearing it about those challenges and your annoyance was visible to her. But she wanted someone to talk to about them. No one is really "wrong" in that situation, but your interactions will be frustrating every time she brings up the challenges, and that will be dissatisfying to both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you were the difficult one.

Exactly! Blame is usually two-sided in relationships. Sounds like you two were just not a good friend match.