I turn 40 this year and my younger self would be sad for me

[Anonymous]

I’m a millennial mom turning 40 and I am panicking. I used to be so happy and wake up looking forward to every day, I used to dream about working hard and being rich to do anything I wanted, to help my parents, to travel and feel the sun on my face.

I am middle class, old, overweight, and in a two bedroom home that smells like old homes. I am despairing. If I was rich my life would be better how did I let this happen?

[Anonymous]

Are you married?

[Anonymous]

At least you have a house and mot a crap apartment.

[Anonymous]

I dunno, OP. I’m overweight, 53, middle class, in a two bedroom house and I’m not despairing. I have people I love, a stinking cute dog, hobbies, and enough money for food, housing, a car, and Netflix.

What is it you really want that you don’t have?

[Anonymous]

I got a new lease on life when my oldest, who had had special needs since birth, went to college. I had devoted 18 years of my life to his needs. Now, despite my age, I feel less burdened. More sprightly.

Figure out what's bringing you down specifically and do something about it.

[Anonymous]

I recently turned 40 and felt the same about my life. I was chatting with a friend of mine about it who is a fitness coach for middle aged women and they said something that stuck with me:

Life happens. S*** happens. Breakups, divorce, deaths, depression, job loss, financial disasters, all of those are realities of life.

All of them will take you off course. You're human.

But what matters is you know the way back to who you were when you were 18, 25, whatever age. If you've wandered 10 miles into the dark woods, you know the road home, and the road home is always there.

The road home will always be there and you can get back on it anytime, no matter how old you are, no matter what has happened to you.

[Anonymous]

Hey, I'm almost 60. The 40s are the most turbulent decade. You must decide to make it happy for yourself. My 50s have been awesome. The 40s are the tsunami, but you can get through it if you keep your eye on life. Love life. Just live it! Find something in each day that you look forward to. Maybe it's a cup of coffee. Maybe it's going for a run or a walk. But you work it in and it gets you through. Life is awesome! It really is.

[Anonymous]

I think the human experience is that your young self would be disappointed by your middle aged self. As John mellnacamp said “just like everything else, those crazy dreams just kinda came and went… Ain’t that America?” Little pink houses for you and me.

Even citizen Kaine was disappointed in what he’d become….Rosebud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey, I'm almost 60. The 40s are the most turbulent decade. You must decide to make it happy for yourself. My 50s have been awesome. The 40s are the tsunami, but you can get through it if you keep your eye on life. Love life. Just live it! Find something in each day that you look forward to. Maybe it's a cup of coffee. Maybe it's going for a run or a walk. But you work it in and it gets you through. Life is awesome! It really is.

I’m 53 and hoping that upswing happens soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the human experience is that your young self would be disappointed by your middle aged self. As John mellnacamp said “just like everything else, those crazy dreams just kinda came and went… Ain’t that America?” Little pink houses for you and me.

Even citizen Kaine was disappointed in what he’d become….Rosebud.

I agree. It's at least the modern American experience. "You can do anything!" Oops I just did normal stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least you have a house and mot a crap apartment.

Right? My apartment is so small that you have to straddle the toilet to close the bathroom door. Last night when I was about to sleep, my bedroom flooded with pot smoke from a neighbor, which gives me a headache.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got a new lease on life when my oldest, who had had special needs since birth, went to college. I had devoted 18 years of my life to his needs. Now, despite my age, I feel less burdened. More sprightly.

Figure out what's bringing you down specifically and do something about it.

Yo you just let go of the rope at 18?? How the heck do you do that and live your kid with special needs - typically they need longer than 18 years. But yeah - I kinda get it. My colleague couldn’t wait for his SN child to enter a home upon his 18th birthday- I don’t understand. My kids SNs are minor by comparison

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey, I'm almost 60. The 40s are the most turbulent decade. You must decide to make it happy for yourself. My 50s have been awesome. The 40s are the tsunami, but you can get through it if you keep your eye on life. Love life. Just live it! Find something in each day that you look forward to. Maybe it's a cup of coffee. Maybe it's going for a run or a walk. But you work it in and it gets you through. Life is awesome! It really is.

Interesting. 40s great for me. I’m 54 and I am not enjoying my 50s so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently turned 40 and felt the same about my life. I was chatting with a friend of mine about it who is a fitness coach for middle aged women and they said something that stuck with me:

Life happens. S*** happens. Breakups, divorce, deaths, depression, job loss, financial disasters, all of those are realities of life.

All of them will take you off course. You're human.

But what matters is you know the way back to who you were when you were 18, 25, whatever age. If you've wandered 10 miles into the dark woods, you know the road home, and the road home is always there.

The road home will always be there and you can get back on it anytime, no matter how old you are, no matter what has happened to you.

I can't find my way back how do I find my way back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At least you have a house and mot a crap apartment.

Right? My apartment is so small that you have to straddle the toilet to close the bathroom door. Last night when I was about to sleep, my bedroom flooded with pot smoke from a neighbor, which gives me a headache.

Girl same!!! The pot smoke is unbearable!!! When its warm they keep even open a window or turn on an exhaust fan!