Working Parents — How integrate new job

[Anonymous]

My company is under fire so I’m looking at a new job. However I have built a huge reservoir of good will and flexibility here, which is an unknown element at new job.

We split shift, where I handle mornings and spouse goes in very early and picks up by 3//4 for afternoon activities and dinner.

School starts at 9am, earliest drop off by 9.

If you start a new job, they will likely expect 830-5/530 pm hours, that’s the traditional schedule for most office work. They may say they are flexible but you also need to be in person proving yourself, learning, etc so can’t just rely on your institutional knowledge and reputation (currently I arrive at 930 because of commute)

How do people finesse the working parent shuffle when changing jobs? My spouse job is very demanding so they can not take on both ends even for a short term.

[Anonymous]

I feel like 9:30 is a normal time to arrive? As long as you are available to stay late I feel like it should be fine. I know there are people around here who think working 7-3 is the norm but I have always found those hours to be unusual.

Worst case scenario you can try to hire a before-school sitter or driver for a while.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, every job I have had has been more flexible than the last. I stayed at a “flexible” job too long, thinking I would lose the flexibility (the job touted it), and my next job, at a big company not particularly known for flexibility, was ridiculously lenient. Parents work everywhere and standards since Covid are different. I would assume what you need is not going to be hard to find. I would read the vibe of the manager and ask once you have an offer.

[Anonymous]

But I agree that starting at 9:30 is probably nbd if you can stay later.

[Anonymous]

My office core hours start at 9, no flexibility, so I've had to pay for before care and remind myself the kids will eventually age out and can get themselves to school in a few years.

[Anonymous]

After you get the job offer and before you accept, you let them know your schedule needs. If it is really a matter of 9:30-5:30 instead of 9-5, I would assume it would be a non-issue for most employers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After you get the job offer and before you accept, you let them know your schedule needs. If it is really a matter of 9:30-5:30 instead of 9-5, I would assume it would be a non-issue for most employers.

+1 get a sense of the overall culture when you apply and during the interview process but also ask the question directly as the PP says. Most places want the job and person to be a good fit and I do think they will just be clear if their expectations are not flexible.

OP more generally though on how people adjust - it's either more paid help (before & aftercare, babysitter, etc) or the spouse doing more. DH just started a new job and I've been doing more re kid dropoffs/pickups and logsitics because I am already established at my job and I have the reputation and ability to be flexible. It's not clear why your DH can't be part of the solution here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After you get the job offer and before you accept, you let them know your schedule needs. If it is really a matter of 9:30-5:30 instead of 9-5, I would assume it would be a non-issue for most employers.

+100 I'm genuinely curious why people who are seeing job postings are mentally skipping to several steps ahead.

[Anonymous]

You could hire a morning driver like another parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After you get the job offer and before you accept, you let them know your schedule needs. If it is really a matter of 9:30-5:30 instead of 9-5, I would assume it would be a non-issue for most employers.

+100 I'm genuinely curious why people who are seeing job postings are mentally skipping to several steps ahead.

Because I have applied to jobs before, and the hard RTO requirements and strict hours scuttles it, but now urgency has leveled up because company is in crisis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could hire a morning driver like another parent.

Where we live there is ZERO parents interested in a paid job hauling out kids. We would have to hire a care.com nanny type deal, not sure how easy to do for just a couple hours a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My company is under fire so I’m looking at a new job. However I have built a huge reservoir of good will and flexibility here, which is an unknown element at new job.

We split shift, where I handle mornings and spouse goes in very early and picks up by 3//4 for afternoon activities and dinner.

School starts at 9am, earliest drop off by 9.

If you start a new job, they will likely expect 830-5/530 pm hours, that’s the traditional schedule for most office work. They may say they are flexible but you also need to be in person proving yourself, learning, etc so can’t just rely on your institutional knowledge and reputation (currently I arrive at 930 because of commute)

How do people finesse the working parent shuffle when changing jobs? My spouse job is very demanding so they can not take on both ends even for a short term.

Get before- or after-care. Get on the waitlists and just move yourself back to the bottom if you don't need it when it comes up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could hire a morning driver like another parent.

Where we live there is ZERO parents interested in a paid job hauling out kids. We would have to hire a care.com nanny type deal, not sure how easy to do for just a couple hours a day.

You have to pay for it. And if it is necessary to keep your job, it’s worth it.

[Anonymous]

So many people [have to] pay for before and/or after care. Sad but true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After you get the job offer and before you accept, you let them know your schedule needs. If it is really a matter of 9:30-5:30 instead of 9-5, I would assume it would be a non-issue for most employers.

+1. I have a really early schedule (much more disruptive than starting at 9:30) and I floated it with my new boss when I received the offer. I had some negotiating room but I would have declined if we didn't reach an agreement.