How to not worry?
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Anonymous
| What has helped you? I worry constantly. Just got a call from ds who is at college and has a horrible ear infection (he went to the doctor's and got antibiotics and drops) He was saying he is in so much pain. Now I am going to worry all night. This is just an example but I worry about everything: dh's colonoscopy later this week, the stray cat I feed being ok, work stress, various administrative tasks...It is endless. I realize none of my issues are big but that does not help me at all. Any mantras or books that worked for you? |
Anonymous
| Meds |
Anonymous
| Stray cat doesn’t worry, that’s for sure. You shouldn’t either. Worrying about kid and DH is understandable |
Anonymous
It is and it's not because it's eating my life away. I've had an awful day worrying since ds called and am so distracted I'm still working and should have been done hours ago! And it feels like a good 2/3rds of my life are just little worry after little worry amounting to low enjoyment of the present. |
Anonymous
I think similar to low stakes/no stakes decisions, just eliminate the worries that aren’t worth it (cats). Then do something about the big worries, like talk to ChatGPT about it, fly out to help DS, or take your DH to and from the appointment and in the interim you can run errands. Doing something, anything, can diffuse the worry a bit. |
Anonymous
Well I can't easily just fly out. Now that makes a big worry into a huge thing, like further catastrophizing. I am taking dh to the appointment. |
Anonymous
|
I do the same thing. I hate it and wish I could really turn down the anxiety noise. A couple things I do that help in the moment: pretend I am my future self looking at this moment. Am I glad I worried? The Post had an article about anxiety techniques and this was one of them - called Time Travel.
I also talk back to the worry, like “That’s anxiety talking. I’m not listening.” And finally, there is the good old think about the worst thing that could happen (your kid is in pain for the next week, or loses his hearing, or whatever it is that you are worried about). Yes, that would suck. But he would manage, and so would you. Realize you would be able to handle (even unwillingly, even sadly) the worst outcome can settle you. |
Anonymous
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I think DH has been anxious less than a dozen times in his life. He's just very level headed and calm. He says it's because he was involved in an MCI and that shapes how you view things.
Anyways, I grew up with a highly anxious mom and find myself struggling a with worst case scenario mindset. DH has really helped me work on the whole idea of "we deal with it as it comes, it's not useful or helpful to spiral with what if situations". And honestly? Game changer. When I had a cancer scare, using this mindset was a God send. I found myself not spiraling and dealing with it in a very rational manner. |
Anonymous
| I worry a lot too. In your situations... I would not worry about your son. He is under medical care and has medication. The colonoscopy is out of your control, so I would try not to worry about that. The work issues are maybe something that can be addressed and you can make goals to do that. The cat I would worry about, because that is under your control. I feed a stray too and worry about her constantly. |
Anonymous
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I'm the same, OP. I am finally thinking about meds. I've tried them before in dire situations, but they made me feel numb, and I got no work done. But now I am finding I can't work due to the worry. I've always had the tendency, but it really ramped up during Covid and a lot of life issues happening at the same time.
FWIW, walking helps a lot. It's just finding the time to get a good walk in given weather and work. GL and I'll be watching this thread for any tips. |
Anonymous
Daily lists of things to do/worry about. Put in categories of what is most important. Ear infection important but he is being treated etc.. which is the most important thing. Within 24-48 hour he should receive relief. Tell him to eat something then take an Advil which should help with pain. Stray cat - feed them but take them off your list of things to worry about. Admin tasks - make a list - most important at the top 3 then so on Good luck |
Anonymous
| SSRIs |
Anonymous
| Nothing on your list is anything you can change. So stop worrying |
Anonymous
|
Sertraline.
I hear people talk about how GLP1’s turn off “food noise.” In my experience, sertraline turns off anxiety noise in my brain. I had been experiencing it for almost 50 years and just thought it was how everyone felt. |
Anonymous
| Meds. |