My 18 year old just got 2 tattoos

[Anonymous]

Kid (he is a kid even though he’s 18) is away in college. He lied and told his dad he needed money for a refrigerator. Dad did not question this, even though he knew he has a refrigerator in his college suite and gave him money. Kid went to a tattoo parlour (cheapest he could find because refrigerators are not that expensive) and got two tattoos that are horrible, beyond horrible. Worst tattoos ever. Kid knows I hate tattoos. We’ve had multiple conversations about them.

This was two weeks ago. I’m a mess. I can’t sleep or think of anything else other than what he did to his once perfect body. They are trashy and disgusting. I hate my son for doing this to himself and ME. I can’t function I’m so upset. I don’t know what to do. He says he won’t remove them. I don’t want to see my son when he comes home from spring break because I’m so angry and disappointed.

[Anonymous]

My older sister did something similar my mom hates tattoos and would rail against them so 18 year old sis went out and got a tattoo (that was about 20 years ago, sis is a successful lawyer today).

Sometimes the more you tell someone, especially a teenager, not to do something, the more they're going to do it. You give them knowledge on how to push your buttons and they'll use it.

I'd recommend people chat with their kids about tattoos rationally. Picking a good artist, learning to live with a design, after care. I don't personally have any tattoos, in part because I'm an obsessive researcher type and I've seen too many infection pictures.

[Anonymous]

Our kids did this at 18 too, although they used their own money. I also am incredibly against tattoos, and one of ours has 3 at this point.

It's not about YOU. It's your kid's body, not yours, and their life. And, over 18, there's nothing you can do.

You need to come to terms with this, and get over yourself. Your job is to love your kid no matter what, not be an a$$hole about stupid things they do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kids did this at 18 too, although they used their own money. I also am incredibly against tattoos, and one of ours has 3 at this point.

It's not about YOU. It's your kid's body, not yours, and their life. And, over 18, there's nothing you can do.

You need to come to terms with this, and get over yourself. Your job is to love your kid no matter what, not be an a$$hole about stupid things they do

This. It is not your body. It has nothing to do with you. The fact that you are upset that he did this to YOU says a lot.

[Anonymous]

Well, he could have joined the military. In fact, he may be. Count your blessings mom. (but the stealing and lying is unacceptable)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kid (he is a kid even though he’s 18) is away in college. He lied and told his dad he needed money for a refrigerator. Dad did not question this, even though he knew he has a refrigerator in his college suite and gave him money. Kid went to a tattoo parlour (cheapest he could find because refrigerators are not that expensive) and got two tattoos that are horrible, beyond horrible. Worst tattoos ever. Kid knows I hate tattoos. We’ve had multiple conversations about them.

This was two weeks ago. I’m a mess. I can’t sleep or think of anything else other than what he did to his once perfect body. They are trashy and disgusting. I hate my son for doing this to himself and ME. I can’t function I’m so upset. I don’t know what to do. He says he won’t remove them. I don’t want to see my son when he comes home from spring break because I’m so angry and disappointed.

This has to be a troll. If not, I know why he did it.

[Anonymous]

He’s an adult. The issue is you and the fact that he lied.

Anyways, I got my first tattoo at 18. Only suggestion parents shared - Please nothing big. I agreed.

My tattoo is so small and hidden only my husband can see it.

Get over it OP

[Anonymous]

He lied to his parents and took their money to get the tattoos. They have ever reason to be angry just for that reason alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kid (he is a kid even though he’s 18) is away in college. He lied and told his dad he needed money for a refrigerator. Dad did not question this, even though he knew he has a refrigerator in his college suite and gave him money. Kid went to a tattoo parlour (cheapest he could find because refrigerators are not that expensive) and got two tattoos that are horrible, beyond horrible. Worst tattoos ever. Kid knows I hate tattoos. We’ve had multiple conversations about them.

This was two weeks ago. I’m a mess. I can’t sleep or think of anything else other than what he did to his once perfect body. They are trashy and disgusting. I hate my son for doing this to himself and ME. I can’t function I’m so upset. I don’t know what to do. He says he won’t remove them. I don’t want to see my son when he comes home from spring break because I’m so angry and disappointed.

He is his own person. He will do things differently from you. It is not a failure on your part. He does not belong to you. You do not own him. He needs to make a few mistakes along the way. Everyone needs to. Whenever you think about it. Stop - close your eyes, breathe in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, breathe out for seven seconds and think “that does not belong to me, that does not belong to me, that does not belong to me……..”.

[Anonymous]

Well, first, he has to pay that money back.

Other than that, there’s nothing you can do. He’s a legal adult. Hopefully he got them in places that can easily be hidden. Also, there’s a high chance he’ll regret them later. Most people I know regret the tattoos they get at 18 and either end up having them removed or covered up.

I personally do not have any problems with tattoos as long as they are high quality and well thought out.

My 18 year old has expressed interest in getting a tattoo so we’ve had many conversations about it. But first, they understand that tattoos are expensive and they are paying for it themselves!

[Anonymous]

Why didn’t you raise him to be smarter than to lie and choose horrible tattoos? Theres nothing you can do now, except make him pay the money back.

[Anonymous]

Not much you can do about it now, so you have to be in control and authoritative.

1) he has to repay you for the "refrigerator".

2) because he lied and you can't trust him for the time-being, you tell him no more money will be given directly to him. If he needs money for something, you pay directly to the merchant/college/whomever.

[Anonymous]

This is a marital issue. Talk to your husband.

[Anonymous]

Oh no, kid just took himself out of the running for a $420k/yr EVP job.

[Anonymous]

This totally real kid lied to his dad to get money for a "refrigerator" and then immediately sent Mom pictures of the tattoo.