How do you come to terms with your age in dating?

[Anonymous]

The last time I was single I was 22. Now I’m 40, childless and newly divorced. The men I match with are 40-55. And…they’re all so old!!! Bad skin, lots of wrinkles, not in shape, don’t dress well and are so…old!!

Meanwhile in my head I’m still 32 and I find 35 year old men the most attractive.

This is giving me a panic attack! How will I recalibrate my attraction to older men?

[Anonymous]

As with all things in life, you develop yourself into a less shallow, more substantive person.

[Anonymous]

I’m 40 and date younger. Current Bf is 30, dated as young as 25.

I workout, get Botox, maintain my hair, etc. So I want a man who also looks good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The last time I was single I was 22. Now I’m 40, childless and newly divorced. The men I match with are 40-55. And…they’re all so old!!! Bad skin, lots of wrinkles, not in shape, don’t dress well and are so…old!!

Meanwhile in my head I’m still 32 and I find 35 year old men the most attractive.

This is giving me a panic attack! How will I recalibrate my attraction to older men?

I am in roughly the same boat as you. I still feel sharp and I stay relatively fit at 42 (even coached GOTR last year). But am only attracted to guys in their mid to late 20s.

Problem with the guys in their 40s is they look so old! Many are starting to go bald! The ones who still have hair also have grey hairs. Lots of them have some wrinkles already. Few of them are in shape (aka the Dad bod). Nobody wants that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last time I was single I was 22. Now I’m 40, childless and newly divorced. The men I match with are 40-55. And…they’re all so old!!! Bad skin, lots of wrinkles, not in shape, don’t dress well and are so…old!!

Meanwhile in my head I’m still 32 and I find 35 year old men the most attractive.

This is giving me a panic attack! How will I recalibrate my attraction to older men?

I am in roughly the same boat as you. I still feel sharp and I stay relatively fit at 42 (even coached GOTR last year). But am only attracted to guys in their mid to late 20s.

Problem with the guys in their 40s is they look so old! Many are starting to go bald! The ones who still have hair also have grey hairs. Lots of them have some wrinkles already. Few of them are in shape (aka the Dad bod). Nobody wants that.

Op here. Yes!! I don’t know why 40 something single men are in such bad state. Most are bald! They have wrinkled faces and they also don’t work out. On top of that, they don’t know how to dress themselves. I really want to be with someone my age or older but…they’re making themselves not attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last time I was single I was 22. Now I’m 40, childless and newly divorced. The men I match with are 40-55. And…they’re all so old!!! Bad skin, lots of wrinkles, not in shape, don’t dress well and are so…old!!

Meanwhile in my head I’m still 32 and I find 35 year old men the most attractive.

This is giving me a panic attack! How will I recalibrate my attraction to older men?

I am in roughly the same boat as you. I still feel sharp and I stay relatively fit at 42 (even coached GOTR last year). But am only attracted to guys in their mid to late 20s.

Problem with the guys in their 40s is they look so old! Many are starting to go bald! The ones who still have hair also have grey hairs. Lots of them have some wrinkles already. Few of them are in shape (aka the Dad bod). Nobody wants that.

Op here. Yes!! I don’t know why 40 something single men are in such bad state. Most are bald! They have wrinkled faces and they also don’t work out. On top of that, they don’t know how to dress themselves. I really want to be with someone my age or older but…they’re making themselves not attractive.

On behalf of bald guys, sorry?

[Anonymous]

OP, why do you match with men that you don’t like? Don’t spend time on them and keep scrolling. Also, set their age range to start at 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As with all things in life, you develop yourself into a less shallow, more substantive person.

Always good to see first time visitors to this forum.

[Anonymous]

Just date the 32-35-year-olds you find attractive. There is a reason old dudes don't turn you on. Your body is telling you no.

[Anonymous]

You need to take a hard look at your self in the mirror. Do you look your age or do you look younger ? Dating apps do not verify age. You don’t have to tell men you are 40. You should be using pictures from when you were in your mid to late 20s on the app. Then see how many mid to late 20s guys message you.

[Anonymous]

I think you should deal with your ageism issues..

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's an OLD thing, or just that these guys are still single and trying to match with anyone possible. I'm 39 and all the men I see are not balding, gray or wrinkled. I mean some have gray hair, but it's still attractive.

You can always fix a man's clothing. Ask me how I know!

[Anonymous]

Op here. I’m told I look 32. I also feel 32.ugh! I want a mature established man but wow older men are not hot generally!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last time I was single I was 22. Now I’m 40, childless and newly divorced. The men I match with are 40-55. And…they’re all so old!!! Bad skin, lots of wrinkles, not in shape, don’t dress well and are so…old!!

Meanwhile in my head I’m still 32 and I find 35 year old men the most attractive.

This is giving me a panic attack! How will I recalibrate my attraction to older men?

I am in roughly the same boat as you. I still feel sharp and I stay relatively fit at 42 (even coached GOTR last year). But am only attracted to guys in their mid to late 20s.

Problem with the guys in their 40s is they look so old! Many are starting to go bald! The ones who still have hair also have grey hairs. Lots of them have some wrinkles already. Few of them are in shape (aka the Dad bod). Nobody wants that.

Op here. Yes!! I don’t know why 40 something single men are in such bad state. Most are bald! They have wrinkled faces and they also don’t work out. On top of that, they don’t know how to dress themselves. I really want to be with someone my age or older but…they’re making themselves not attractive.

On behalf of bald guys, sorry?

At least she's making me feel slightly better about my full head of (gray) hair.

[Anonymous]

My young looking friend who is in her mid-40s has no problems getting matches with men in their late 20s-30s. She won't date 20s because that's too young but there are plenty of men available who would be fine dating an older woman OP. 50s is too high of an age for you given what you find attractive. You should maybe not even bother looking.