Is this a big deal?

[Anonymous]

Hi - I could really use some opinions here. My husband works a job where he frequently has staffing needs so he has relationships with a few different staffing companies. When a need arises, he typically goes out to breakfast or lunch with one of his contacts at one of the staffing companies to discuss options. This could all be done by phone, but he says he prefers to meet with them in person. I was fine with this but the last meeting like this that he had was with a 26-year-old woman. ( he is 57.) and it was for happy hour for drinks, just the two of them. I know when I ask him about this he’s going to say it’s not a big deal but I actually really think it is. I would love to hear some opinions/ thank you very much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi - I could really use some opinions here. My husband works a job where he frequently has staffing needs so he has relationships with a few different staffing companies. When a need arises, he typically goes out to breakfast or lunch with one of his contacts at one of the staffing companies to discuss options. This could all be done by phone, but he says he prefers to meet with them in person. I was fine with this but the last meeting like this that he had was with a 26-year-old woman. ( he is 57.) and it was for happy hour for drinks, just the two of them. I know when I ask him about this he’s going to say it’s not a big deal but I actually really think it is. I would love to hear some opinions/ thank you very much.

Lemme guess… The staffing company you’re referring to is owned by the same person that owns the Ravens. They have some of the finest female sales and recruiting staff in the nation. Signed, former employee…

[Anonymous]

This doesn't need to be done over a meal

Who pays for this? Staffing company or client? Does his company have ethics rules?

At my company, there are rules against accepting paid meals from suppliers.

If they go dutch or he pays, he is the one that wants to do this. The reps probably do it because they want the business/to keep their jobs.

[Anonymous]

I think that "happy hour for drinks" is not an appropriate business meeting in 2026. That's what I think. I am 99% sure the salesperson does not want to go -- but feels she needs to in order to get the account. Your DH is being unprofessional at best, and arguably inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that "happy hour for drinks" is not an appropriate business meeting in 2026. That's what I think. I am 99% sure the salesperson does not want to go -- but feels she needs to in order to get the account. Your DH is being unprofessional at best, and arguably inappropriate.

+100

[Anonymous]

OP - thank you for the comments - (has nothing to do with Ravens) - I never thought about who pays. I think he does. Ugh. Thanks

[Anonymous]

We have a saying among the men in our family: I'm married, not dead. But that saying is only funny because none of the men in our family would ever cheat, going back like five generations, if not more.

Having said that, this is not kosher. Sure, maybe he's just enjoying talking to a pretty young woman, but if you are uncomfortable then he should stop out of respect for you. And I think it's reasonable to feel uncomfortable with this.

[Anonymous]

Shady AF. Is it always women? If so, that’s a pretty damning detail.

[Anonymous]

Staffing companies take a cut for the temp person or contract worker placement on a running basis (assuming this is long-term staffing). So every white-collar professional placement is like a $10K-15K annual revenue bump (or more). The rep needs to place, say, about 20-40 workers to earn their keep. It's like insurance sales. Each sale/long-term placement adds to their book of business.

Plus if the staffing agency handles 1st round interviews, candidate recommendations, performance evaluations, and firing, they really need to have a good relationship with the client to handle the interpersonal side.

It's not that these people are desperate about any one sale, it's that schmoozing helps the business flow.

The female account rep for the contract firm I worked for for 3 years did some moonlighting as a sportscaster for the Big 10 Sports Channel. She was pretty. My college boyfriend worked for Manpower in account services as his first job out of college and he was the only guy. Like HR, staffing tends to be a female-dominated area.

OP, it may be that if you chew out your husband about this, he'll take it badly. I think you need to figure out why he favors this kind of dining out escapism. (I'm not assuming anything crossing the line is going on. He might just wish he could get more female attention and this is an easy way.)

[Anonymous]

Your spidey senses are going off for a reason. Your husband sounds like a creep.

[Anonymous]

If you think it is a big deal, then it is a big deal. Don’t doubt your self.

[Anonymous]

Inappropriate and shady.

Check your man on this OP. He definitely is moving like a Creep

[Anonymous]

He is cheating on you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that "happy hour for drinks" is not an appropriate business meeting in 2026. That's what I think. I am 99% sure the salesperson does not want to go -- but feels she needs to in order to get the account. Your DH is being unprofessional at best, and arguably inappropriate.

+1 happy hour is not appropriate.

But I guarantee that a 26 year old is not interested in him. Creeped out, maybe. Geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that "happy hour for drinks" is not an appropriate business meeting in 2026. That's what I think. I am 99% sure the salesperson does not want to go -- but feels she needs to in order to get the account. Your DH is being unprofessional at best, and arguably inappropriate.

+1 happy hour is not appropriate.

But I guarantee that a 26 year old is not interested in him. Creeped out, maybe. Geez.

+1
I was that 26 year old and people wanted to meet lunch or outside the workplace. It's an imbalance of power and the 26 year old doesn't understand that yet. Your husband is being inappropriate to want to be feted and/or spend money for work deals.