Is this a big deal?

[Anonymous]

Breakfast/lunch is one thing.

Happy hour drinks are totally another.

Hard no.

[Anonymous]

Totally sketchy.

I work with a handful of staffing firms and this is just not a thing. Most of our coordination is done virtually. If we need to interview a potential staff member, we usually do that virtually too or invite them to the office. Never lunch. Never drinks.

The fact that he is paying for this out of pocket is a huge red flag. His company isn't aware and their expense policy may not support it.

[Anonymous]

As a married man, I find it very inappropriate for him to have drinks w/another woman.

🥂
Does he have any option to say no??

[Anonymous]

My husband has coffee and lunch regularly with both men and women due to his job. It has never bothered me. I doubt he ever offered happy hour because he doesn’t really drink. He might go if someone asked him though. He does do networking meetings in the evening, but they are primarily large group events.

I’m not sure it would bother me. I might mention that the optics of being at happy hour as a 59 year old man with a young woman was a bad look. And he would probably listen and not do that again. But I trust my husband and I don’t think any of these meetings have anything to do with him trying to cheat on me. He fairly regularly comes home and says “oh, you would probably have a lot in common with Susie. Maybe we invite her and her husband to dinner?” Truthfully, if he met a smart, lovely woman in her 20s, he would most likely come home and tell me about where she went to college and whether our daughter should visit there or speculate whether our daughter should consider the same major. I am pretty darn confident he isn’t actually looking at a 20 something as a potential mate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has coffee and lunch regularly with both men and women due to his job. It has never bothered me. I doubt he ever offered happy hour because he doesn’t really drink. He might go if someone asked him though. He does do networking meetings in the evening, but they are primarily large group events.

I’m not sure it would bother me. I might mention that the optics of being at happy hour as a 59 year old man with a young woman was a bad look. And he would probably listen and not do that again. But I trust my husband and I don’t think any of these meetings have anything to do with him trying to cheat on me. He fairly regularly comes home and says “oh, you would probably have a lot in common with Susie. Maybe we invite her and her husband to dinner?” Truthfully, if he met a smart, lovely woman in her 20s, he would most likely come home and tell me about where she went to college and whether our daughter should visit there or speculate whether our daughter should consider the same major. I am pretty darn confident he isn’t actually looking at a 20 something as a potential mate.

Hahaha I wouldn’t be so sure if I was you.
My exH AP was selecting my presents for family holidays. I thought she was his colleague.

[Anonymous]

People who drink think happy hours are normal.

My read on that was a possible attempt to turn down a longer meeting. I would spend longer at a meal than a "grab a quick drink to discuss".

[Anonymous]

I was okay with it until happy hour drinks.