When they're not where you expect them to be

[Anonymous]

If you ever discover your teen is not where they're expected to be via phone tracking, how do you approach?

This is a first with my generally responsible 13yo. She was expected to be at an after school club. I don't often look at her location but I just did to see if she left yet since I'll be going near the school and could offer a ride home (teen usually takes the public bus which takes longer).

Since I have a little time to formulate my response, I'm curious how others would proceed.

[Anonymous]

Your not supposed to try to catch them in a lie, right?

[Anonymous]

It depends where they were...

[Anonymous]

Depends on where they are instead.

In your case, I'd just text and say I'll be driving by the school and can pick them up. See what they say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends where they were...

Looks like 7-11 and a park.

[Anonymous]

What a little sneak

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your not supposed to try to catch them in a lie, right?

why?

We have told our DD that we don't mind if her plans change but she needs to notify us.

So the one time I saw her location was not where she said she was going to be- I just called and said "what are you doing and why are you not at X location...'

[Anonymous]

I call them and say why are you at location? Why are you pussy-footing around this?

[Anonymous]

You are posting here vs. going and getting them and giving them consequences?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends where they were...

Looks like 7-11 and a park.

I would approach with curiosity...why weren't you at the after school club where you were supposed to be? And then talk respectfully about safety and how you need to know where she is in case anything happens. Explain the importance of trust and communication as they continue in their teen years.

[Anonymous]

Ask her how the after school club went.

[Anonymous]

Is she generally allowed to go to the 7-11 and the park, or are those spaces verboten?

[Anonymous]

I'd simply text if she wants a ride back home. Maybe club finished earlier or was canceled and she's killing time until the bus.

[Anonymous]

Lock her up and throw away the key!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends where they were...

Looks like 7-11 and a park.

I feel like this is very normal and even positive teen behavior. You may want to just ask about whether she is enjoying the club etc.