How much should parents be involved in high schoolers’ dating?

[Anonymous]

My sophomore has a gf recently. They spend a lot of time on phone/online. Once awhile they walk to stores besides school. We don’t know that girl or her parents. Should we? I’m a bit worried about possible different culture. But never mention it. Should we do something or wait until girl’s parent bring up?

[Anonymous]

Very involved. This person could become a real problem in their educational journey and dreams.

[Anonymous]

This sounds pretty light and casual so I would not be involved at all.

[Anonymous]

I think you should make them break. You don't know this girl, and what if she's a bad influence? Break it off now while you still can. I'm speaking from experience beautiful son had his gf when he was in freshmen year. It all went downhill from there. He started weed and even came out as Bisexual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds pretty light and casual so I would not be involved at all.

These are my feelings. It sounds normal and I wouldn’t get involved at all. I haven’t in these situations and haven’t met the GF when it’s this casual. They have always broken up before too long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should make them break. You don't know this girl, and what if she's a bad influence? Break it off now while you still can. I'm speaking from experience beautiful son had his gf when he was in freshmen year. It all went downhill from there. He started weed and even came out as Bisexual.

Similar happened to my son - make sure you meet this girls parents, take turns supervising them, make sure their education, friends, and jobs come first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should make them break. You don't know this girl, and what if she's a bad influence? Break it off now while you still can. I'm speaking from experience beautiful son had his gf when he was in freshmen year. It all went downhill from there. He started weed and even came out as Bisexual.

So you think a GIRL he was dating made him realize he was sexually attracted to boys

[Anonymous]

I would tell him to invite her for dinner. See if she can handle two hours of being polite and kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should make them break. You don't know this girl, and what if she's a bad influence? Break it off now while you still can. I'm speaking from experience beautiful son had his gf when he was in freshmen year. It all went downhill from there. He started weed and even came out as Bisexual.

Similar happened to my son - make sure you meet this girls parents, take turns supervising them, make sure their education, friends, and jobs come first.

Stop blaming the GF's .

You raised little shits.

[Anonymous]

OP do you talk to your DS about his GF? OP what conversations are you having with him about her? Have you asked about her? What DS likes about her, what they talk about (not saying ask every conversation at all, just in general, what are they talking about when they talk on phone/online)?

Before judging if you should get involved or not just feel him out for what connects them, what they have in common, see how he talks about her and to me that should give you plenty of ideas about how much you may want to get more involved or not. Also watch his grades and see if anything changes, because that's obviously one of the things to watch since "new relationships" (even the light ones) can become all-consuming too easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should make them break. You don't know this girl, and what if she's a bad influence? Break it off now while you still can. I'm speaking from experience beautiful son had his gf when he was in freshmen year. It all went downhill from there. He started weed and even came out as Bisexual.

Similar happened to my son - make sure you meet this girls parents, take turns supervising them, make sure their education, friends, and jobs come first.

So your son also had a GF as a HS freshman and became bisexual as a result?

That's a new one...stop your sons from dating women because they may turn them bisexual.

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Bizarre responses today. What are your cultural concerns, OP?

[Anonymous]

Talking on the phone and hanging out together in public places? Sounds pretty casual and un-problematic to me.

As long as he's keeping up with his responsibilities at home, school, and extracurriculars, I'd let things ride for a bit. Definitely invite her for dinner, or find some other casual way of getting to know her a bit. But unless they start trying to find ways to be together in private, or you sense he's sneaking around in some way, there's probably no need to involve her parents just yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sophomore has a gf recently. They spend a lot of time on phone/online. Once awhile they walk to stores besides school. We don’t know that girl or her parents. Should we? I’m a bit worried about possible different culture. But never mention it. Should we do something or wait until girl’s parent bring up?

I know what that is code for.

If you are from a culture where marriages are arranged by hypercontrolling parents, you shouldn't force that dysfunction on your child, especially at such a young age. Let him learn about relationships in an organic, healthy way so he learns how to get along with someone of the opposite sex. If he's 30 and still unmarried then maybe you can start calling the matchmaker.