If you spend $200 per kid or do want-need-wear- read or something

[Anonymous]

But your kids have more stuff and more expensive stuff than mine, where does the stuff come from?

I feel like we spend a lot of money on Christmas. This is my oldest’s last Christmas before college so he got a laptop, and XL sheets. My next kid has reached a point where he can no longer wear hand me downs from his brother so he needed a bunch of new sports gear to replace stuff that didn’t fit. One kid needed a new bike. Plus I got some stocking stuffers like paperback books and funny t shirts, chocolate Santa. I buy 2nd hand when possible, and we do hand me downs when possible, but it’s still expensive!

I know several people IRL, and I see people here all the time who boast that they only get 4 presents or they spend $100 a kid. But it seems like their kids have all the equipment that mine do, often newer and better brands. So, when do they get it?

[Anonymous]

Allll throughout the year. We have small-ish Christmas hauls because my kids get new stuff all year long.

Very different from when I was growing up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Allll throughout the year. We have small-ish Christmas hauls because my kids get new stuff all year long.

Very different from when I was growing up!

Do you judge people who do things differently?

I feel like there is a tone of judgement when people who give stuff all year talk to people like me.

[Anonymous]

We don’t wait until Christmas to purchase our kids what they need & want.

Zero judgement from me on how others manage this.

[Anonymous]

We have huge pile of Christmas presents but any and everything DC from the end of October thru January get wrapped.

[Anonymous]

We usually do not purchase any wants throughout the year. They can spend their own money but we don’t encourage that often - we prefer they save their money. We don’t make a habit of going to the mall to shop either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Allll throughout the year. We have small-ish Christmas hauls because my kids get new stuff all year long.

Very different from when I was growing up!

Do you judge people who do things differently?

I feel like there is a tone of judgement when people who give stuff all year talk to people like me.

Same as PP here. Our kids get most of what they need when they need it, rather than waiting for Christmas. Christmas is not about getting a lot of presents.

Do you judge us for doing this differently than you, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We don’t wait until Christmas to purchase our kids what they need & want.

Zero judgement from me on how others manage this.

We don’t wait until Christmas either. If I’m spending that much money I want then to get as much use out of it as possible before they can’t fit into it anymore 🤷‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Things like sports gear or things for other extracurriculars gets purchased throughout the year as they need it. Kids in college got their laptops as HS graduation gifts, not at xmas.

New bikes have been given as birthday and xmas gifts, depending on timing. Since we don't generally spend big at xmas, I prefer to give a new bike on a birthday where the kids aren't directly comparing each others' gifts the same way they naturally will do at xmas. We try to be equal in spending at xmas.

Clothing is mostly purchased in season as needed. When we were introduced to the buy/wear/etc. idea, I struggled with the "need" category and was told by a couple people that a good example of a "need" gift was a new winter coat. That made no sense to me because if my kids need a new winter coat they will get it in the fall before the weather is cold.

Once they were in their teens, they requested more clothing gifts so they usually do get something to wear, something to read, and then a few other "wants".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Allll throughout the year. We have small-ish Christmas hauls because my kids get new stuff all year long.

Very different from when I was growing up!

Do you judge people who do things differently?

I feel like there is a tone of judgement when people who give stuff all year talk to people like me.

Same as PP here. Our kids get most of what they need when they need it, rather than waiting for Christmas. Christmas is not about getting a lot of presents.

Do you judge us for doing this differently than you, OP?

No. I don’t feel like I say things that can be taken as judgemental. I certainly receive comments that I hear as judgemental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Things like sports gear or things for other extracurriculars gets purchased throughout the year as they need it. Kids in college got their laptops as HS graduation gifts, not at xmas.

New bikes have been given as birthday and xmas gifts, depending on timing. Since we don't generally spend big at xmas, I prefer to give a new bike on a birthday where the kids aren't directly comparing each others' gifts the same way they naturally will do at xmas. We try to be equal in spending at xmas.

Clothing is mostly purchased in season as needed. When we were introduced to the buy/wear/etc. idea, I struggled with the "need" category and was told by a couple people that a good example of a "need" gift was a new winter coat. That made no sense to me because if my kids need a new winter coat they will get it in the fall before the weather is cold.

Once they were in their teens, they requested more clothing gifts so they usually do get something to wear, something to read, and then a few other "wants".

Exactly what we did for both of our college bound children.

Their HS graduation gifts were MAC books and the protection plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Allll throughout the year. We have small-ish Christmas hauls because my kids get new stuff all year long.

Very different from when I was growing up!

Do you judge people who do things differently?

I feel like there is a tone of judgement when people who give stuff all year talk to people like me.

Same as PP here. Our kids get most of what they need when they need it, rather than waiting for Christmas. Christmas is not about getting a lot of presents.

Do you judge us for doing this differently than you, OP?

No. I don’t feel like I say things that can be taken as judgemental. [b]I certainly receive comments that I hear as judgemental.

Ugh .. Like what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Allll throughout the year. We have small-ish Christmas hauls because my kids get new stuff all year long.

Very different from when I was growing up!

Do you judge people who do things differently?

I feel like there is a tone of judgement when people who give stuff all year talk to people like me.

Same as PP here. Our kids get most of what they need when they need it, rather than waiting for Christmas. Christmas is not about getting a lot of presents.

Do you judge us for doing this differently than you, OP?

No. I don’t feel like I say things that can be taken as judgemental. I certainly receive comments that I hear as judgemental.

You might get a more useful answer if you ask your question of the people making those comments.

[Anonymous]

We wait until Christmas for most things. I have a 14 year old who spills things on his hoodies. He was down to two hoodies because of this. He just got replacement hoodies for Christmas (not his only gift).

My other DS “lost” his AirPods that he had gotten for his birthday. I told him that he can put it on his list for his next birthday or buy a replacement pair himself. He’s 16. He tore the house apart and found his AirPods in the couch.

We usually give the kids one or two things they want and a couple things they need. But I can see going the other way with it. No wrong answer.

My neighbor has three kids in middle school and under and they barely do Christmas presents at all. They go on a trip together.

[Anonymous]

We just do wants and reads with a little bit of wear if it's fun

But kids just get 4 things every year. Some things are more expensive and some are much less but all are strategically chosen

I think they were happy