39 and pregnant

[Anonymous]

Pregnant with our surprise fourth baby at 39 and had the other 3 before I was 35. I feel like going to my appointments is doomsday every single time due to my age. I get that I’m considered geriatric but the way I’m talked to and constant push for interventions like an induction every single appointment just depresses me. Had a doctor today tell me a story about a patient above 40 losing her child because she decided to wait until her due date for baby to come naturally. This is now becoming routine where every provider is telling me a different horrible scenario because I have opted not to be induced yet. Just venting I guess but it’s been night and day experience being pregnant with this baby then it was with my others and it’s made my pregnancy so sad for me.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP! I work at a maternity hospital and I see women 40+ give birth every day. Try not to worry.

[Anonymous]

Weirdly I'm 38 and I keep going "I know I'm old" and my OB keeps saying "You're really not".

In the US now more babies are born to Women over 40 than women under 20 (this does have more to do with the falling teen birth rate but the 40+ group has risen too).

[Anonymous]

I had a baby at 39 without inducing. It went fine, and yours will too!

[Anonymous]

Change your providers. Being treated like that is not okay and not normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Change your providers. Being treated like that is not okay and not normal.

If they're discussing induction it's likely too late to change providers. Most OBs won't want to take a switched patient super late.

It looks like the ACOG does recommend induction at 39 weeks for moms 40 and older and they will base that on statistics and science. So if you have any other complicating factors, at least have a conversation about it. But they shouldn't just be telling you, they should be laying out stats and reasoning.

[Anonymous]

I had my babies at 36 and 42, so I've heard the messaging myself. Honestly waiting does raise the risk of stillbirth especially in older moms, and I think educating moms on the ARRIVE study is front of mind for providers especially if that doctor did just deliver a stillborn baby to a mom who didn't want to induce.

But since this is your 4th I would be shocked if you needed to be induced to avoid that outcome -- most later babies come earlier and you have a "proven pelvis" unlike FTMs over 40. If you've indicated that you want to have an off the grid home birth with a psychic and a life coach attending, then your provider is trying to steer you back. If you've indicated that you're going to be following medical advice then they need to knock it off or you need to switch to a new practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Change your providers. Being treated like that is not okay and not normal.

OP here - unfortunately it’s too late to do so

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weirdly I'm 38 and I keep going "I know I'm old" and my OB keeps saying "You're really not".

In the US now more babies are born to Women over 40 than women under 20 (this does have more to do with the falling teen birth rate but the 40+ group has risen too).

See, here’s the thing. Just because more women over 40 are having babies now than women under 20 doesn’t mean that having a baby over 40 is safer or that women over 40 are getting any younger. What twisted logic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Change your providers. Being treated like that is not okay and not normal.

If they're discussing induction it's likely too late to change providers. Most OBs won't want to take a switched patient super late.

It looks like the ACOG does recommend induction at 39 weeks for moms 40 and older and they will base that on statistics and science. So if you have any other complicating factors, at least have a conversation about it. But they shouldn't just be telling you, they should be laying out stats and reasoning.

OP here - my biggest problem is that there have been no complications. Stress tests, ultrasounds, blood work - everything has been stellar. I understand the need to inform but it just seems beyond that at this point

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weirdly I'm 38 and I keep going "I know I'm old" and my OB keeps saying "You're really not".

In the US now more babies are born to Women over 40 than women under 20 (this does have more to do with the falling teen birth rate but the 40+ group has risen too).

See, here’s the thing. Just because more women over 40 are having babies now than women under 20 doesn’t mean that having a baby over 40 is safer or that women over 40 are getting any younger. What twisted logic.

It isn’t safer but it’s certainly better to have a baby after 40 then at 20.

Women over 40 are also still young, not old.

[Anonymous]

My sister lost her baby days before her due date. I would heed all of my doctor’s advice on reducing the risk of stillbirth without second thought. I will do everything in my power to avoid such a devastating outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weirdly I'm 38 and I keep going "I know I'm old" and my OB keeps saying "You're really not".

In the US now more babies are born to Women over 40 than women under 20 (this does have more to do with the falling teen birth rate but the 40+ group has risen too).

See, here’s the thing. Just because more women over 40 are having babies now than women under 20 doesn’t mean that having a baby over 40 is safer or that women over 40 are getting any younger. What twisted logic.

It isn’t safer but it’s certainly better to have a baby after 40 then at 20.

Women over 40 are also still young, not old.

**It might not be safer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weirdly I'm 38 and I keep going "I know I'm old" and my OB keeps saying "You're really not".

In the US now more babies are born to Women over 40 than women under 20 (this does have more to do with the falling teen birth rate but the 40+ group has risen too).

See, here’s the thing. Just because more women over 40 are having babies now than women under 20 doesn’t mean that having a baby over 40 is safer or that women over 40 are getting any younger. What twisted logic.

It isn’t safer but it’s certainly better to have a baby after 40 then at 20.

Women over 40 are also still young, not old.

Better how? Not in terms of pregnancy and childbirth complications.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Change your providers. Being treated like that is not okay and not normal.

If they're discussing induction it's likely too late to change providers. Most OBs won't want to take a switched patient super late.

It looks like the ACOG does recommend induction at 39 weeks for moms 40 and older and they will base that on statistics and science. So if you have any other complicating factors, at least have a conversation about it. But they shouldn't just be telling you, they should be laying out stats and reasoning.

OP here - my biggest problem is that there have been no complications. Stress tests, ultrasounds, blood work - everything has been stellar. I understand the need to inform but it just seems beyond that at this point

You've got to push back in the moment. Tell them you've heard their advice, you're thinking about it, and you don't want to discuss an induction until your week 38 appointment or something. IF you're just making noncommital noises when they talk about it, they're probably checking the chart to see if it's been discussed yet and bringing it up because there's no note.