Ageist comment from co-worker

[Anonymous]

Just venting about something that really bothered me recently. I'm 51 and a 30 year old male co-worker referred to me and another 50 something woman as "the old ladies" while talking to another staff person (I was standing right next to them). I told him directly that it was offensive and explained why. He apologized and told me that he was "just joking" and that he's told me before that I "look great for my age" and therefore I shouldn't be offended. The other 50 something woman I work with laughed and made some comment about him being a young guy and "that's how they are." Am I wrong or overreacting for thinking this is not acceptable? He apologized, I accepted the apology and on the surface moved on but this comment has made me really dislike him. FWIW I work at presenting myself as youthful as possible within my budget, am physically fit, keep up on things, etc. I hate our ageist culture. I need to stay in the workforce for at least another 15 years before I can retire. It depresses me that I'm going to have to continue to deal with this BS.

[Anonymous]

You are old. That part is just factual biographical information. You're the one that made it negative, not him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are old. That part is just factual biographical information. You're the one that made it negative, not him.

And you are equally ageist.

The comment in the workplace setting was extremely inappropriate

[Anonymous]

Op, I think you handled it well. Definitely necessary to call him out.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad you called him out, but sorry his apology was so weak.

When I was about 30 I made a stupid ageist comment and an older coworker called me on it. I was sincerely sorry (I had been thoughtless), I apologized, and I never did it again. I would hope he's had the same realization, but his "you look great for your age" bit was disappointing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are old. That part is just factual biographical information. You're the one that made it negative, not him.

And you are equally ageist.

The comment in the workplace setting was extremely inappropriate

Why do you think it is so bad to be old?

[Anonymous]

He was rude and stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are old. That part is just factual biographical information. You're the one that made it negative, not him.

It would be equally as weird to say "the black women," "the fat ladies," "the bald men," etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are old. That part is just factual biographical information. You're the one that made it negative, not him.

And you are equally ageist.

The comment in the workplace setting was extremely inappropriate

Why do you think it is so bad to be old?

Seems like you are socially awkward and don't work in a professional setting since you are having such a difficult time understanding why it's inappropriate. It's demeaning to call someone old or reduce them to once thing, even if they are factually "old." Would you say "the black guys?" The hispanic ladies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are old. That part is just factual biographical information. You're the one that made it negative, not him.

And you are equally ageist.

The comment in the workplace setting was extremely inappropriate

Why do you think it is so bad to be old?

It’s not bad to be old.

It’s bad to be treated “less than” because of your age.

[Anonymous]

You handled it perfectly, OP. I think the reason you're still annoyed is that you're probably sensing a lot of misogyny and general contempt for women and perhaps anyone who isn't in his social group from this particular person. Try not to let it show.

[Anonymous]

My coworkers (in 40s and 50s) refer to the 20 somethings as the ‘kids.’ I find that offensive too.

Op, you did the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are old. That part is just factual biographical information. You're the one that made it negative, not him.

You think 51 is old??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You handled it perfectly, OP. I think the reason you're still annoyed is that you're probably sensing a lot of misogyny and general contempt for women and perhaps anyone who isn't in his social group from this particular person. Try not to let it show.

This is the OP-thank you. You articulated what I was feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are old. That part is just factual biographical information. You're the one that made it negative, not him.

It would be equally as weird to say "the black women," "the fat ladies," "the bald men," etc.

OP here. Agreed. The guy that made the comment is really overweight. I would never refer to him as “the fat guy.”