Nice Boys

[Anonymous]

We are applying for middle school spots for our son this year, and have been really impressed by the academic, athletic and extracurricular options at all of the schools we've visited. But what I really want to know is: where are the kids NICE? Obviously they are preteen and teenage boys, and nobody is nice all the time, but are there any places that stand out in particular for having a culture that expects kindness from the students?

FWIW, we're not looking at Catholic schools, and only to schools that go through 12th. Thanks for any thoughts!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are applying for middle school spots for our son this year, and have been really impressed by the academic, athletic and extracurricular options at all of the schools we've visited. But what I really want to know is: where are the kids NICE? Obviously they are preteen and teenage boys, and nobody is nice all the time, but are there any places that stand out in particular for having a culture that expects kindness from the students?

FWIW, we're not looking at Catholic schools, and only to schools that go through 12th. Thanks for any thoughts!

OP, I don't mean to rag on you, but this is really a silly question.

Every school in the DMV touts that their kids are "kind" (or "nice," or whatever synonym you want to use.) Every school has a few kids that are nice most of the time, many kids that know how to be nice and pull it together much of the time, and a few who know how to be real jerks. What do you expect? As you said, these are middle schools. They all have basically the same kids, and basically the same expectations that they are going to learn to work with each other. There are successes and failures at all of them, every day.

I'm sorry to report that there is no Nice School that only admits Nice Kids.

[Anonymous]

Everything's going to depend on the class and the kid -- it's a wild crapshoot out there, where one grade is full of angels straight form the heavenly choir, and the next grade down... isn't.

Statistically speaking, religious and/or with a hard line against technology probably offers your best chance.

[Anonymous]

Well of course there isn't a Nice School that only admits Nice Kids. That wasn't the question. Of course kids' behavior will vary by the day and the kid - they're human.

The question is: which schools continue to emphasize kindness through middle and upper school? Which schools have the least tolerance for repeated jerk behavior?

Again, thank you for any thoughts!

[Anonymous]

Are you focused on single sex? If so, you will have a tough time finding this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well of course there isn't a Nice School that only admits Nice Kids. That wasn't the question. Of course kids' behavior will vary by the day and the kid - they're human.

The question is: which schools continue to emphasize kindness through middle and upper school? Which schools have the least tolerance for repeated jerk behavior?

Again, thank you for any thoughts!

As PP said, all of them. This is what you’re paying $50 a year for.

[Anonymous]

That’s $50k a year….

[Anonymous]

GDS discourages competition, which often (but of course not always) leads to less outright meanness. But it's middle school -- some kids are going to be mean, some kids are going to feel left out, all kids are going to feel confused and in flux.

[Anonymous]

OP, read the vision and mission statements for the schools you are considering. They will give some insight into the school’s values.

Although you’ll find a lot of them mention kindness in some form.

[Anonymous]

St Anselms but it’s a Catholic school. 150 hours of service over two years helps keep the boys focused on more than academics. Sports are low-key.

[Anonymous]

Sandy Spring Friends School

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, read the vision and mission statements for the schools you are considering. They will give some insight into the school’s values.

Although you’ll find a lot of them mention kindness in some form.

No, they give you insight into what their consultants told them read well.

[Anonymous]

From my experience, the only advice I can give is to avoid very small schools, because then it becomes a crapshoot and luck of the draw for the particular class. My kids transitioned from public to a small private. Amazing academically. Made friends across all other grades, but their grade has a core group of boys with consistently objectionable behavior who have been targeting them. It's not been pleasant and I have had to refer to the administration. For reference, I have an older child who went through public school - never any of that. My younger kids came from public where again there was never any of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are applying for middle school spots for our son this year, and have been really impressed by the academic, athletic and extracurricular options at all of the schools we've visited. But what I really want to know is: where are the kids NICE? Obviously they are preteen and teenage boys, and nobody is nice all the time, but are there any places that stand out in particular for having a culture that expects kindness from the students?

FWIW, we're not looking at Catholic schools, and only to schools that go through 12th. Thanks for any thoughts!

LOL Nice at private?
You mean entitled twats

[Anonymous]

I feel like the kids at Burke and Field are generally nice.