Is your son a performative male?

[Anonymous]

If so, do they make you cringe?

[Anonymous]

I don’t know what you mean by this, but I just keep picturing a dude with giant peacock feathers on his butt.

[Anonymous]

I think OP means a man who carries a tote bag with progressive buttons and listens to emo music, and talks about how sensitive and enlightened he is but actually does not treat women that well, and mostly uses his views as a basis to sleep with as many women as possible. (Insights courtesy of my daughter.)

[Anonymous]

Dear me, no. He's high functioning autistic and couldn't care less about appearing a certain way. It would be so great if he could "perform" to act a little more normie!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear me, no. He's high functioning autistic and couldn't care less about appearing a certain way. It would be so great if he could "perform" to act a little more normie!

Several autistic kids I know are into wearing lots of colored bracelets and identity/group t-shirts and rainbow flags patches and choosing a different gender identity from what they were originally assigned by parents.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea what you mean. Do you mean performative like the PP above? Or like “visibly into male things” like sports? Gaming? Or things like theatre?

My boys like male-oriented things but really like them so there is no performing involved. I would cringe if I thought they were adopting a persona to be cool, but they are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea what you mean. Do you mean performative like the PP above? Or like “visibly into male things” like sports? Gaming? Or things like theatre?

My boys like male-oriented things but really like them so there is no performing involved. I would cringe if I thought they were adopting a persona to be cool, but they are not.

It's kind of the opposite, a "performative male" performs progressive or traditionally female coded things to signal that they're sensitive or something. They read books by women, they drink matcha, that kind of thing. The whole idea seems kind of silly to me and some of is just laughing at me for reading books. As a man, I'm glad I'm too old to care about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea what you mean. Do you mean performative like the PP above? Or like “visibly into male things” like sports? Gaming? Or things like theatre?

My boys like male-oriented things but really like them so there is no performing involved. I would cringe if I thought they were adopting a persona to be cool, but they are not.

It's kind of the opposite, a "performative male" performs progressive or traditionally female coded things to signal that they're sensitive or something. They read books by women, they drink matcha, that kind of thing. The whole idea seems kind of silly to me and some of is just laughing at me for reading books. As a man, I'm glad I'm too old to care about this.

If my son wanted to read some female centered books drinking macha, I'd be so chuffed. It's not likely to happen and I think any guy who is doing that is probably into it and not performing.

[Anonymous]

Is that what this word means now? DS used it and I didn’t understand. I asked if it was like a poser and he said no but didn’t explain. Interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is that what this word means now? DS used it and I didn’t understand. I asked if it was like a poser and he said no but didn’t explain. Interesting.

It is like a Poser...

[Anonymous]

Poseur.

Like another poster, I think what people perceive to be performative people are actually drawn to these things, even if they don't walk the walk or talk the talk entirely, and are therefore seen as hypocritical sometimes. I can't fathom someone going to all the trouble of buying stuff, wearing it and acting a certain way, if they don't have a shred of shared feelings about that particular group.

I think the "performative" insult is largely made-up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is that what this word means now? DS used it and I didn’t understand. I asked if it was like a poser and he said no but didn’t explain. Interesting.

It is like a Poser...

But from what PPs are saying, it’s more specific than that. It’s being a poser in certain ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know what you mean by this, but I just keep picturing a dude with giant peacock feathers on his butt.

Me too! Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is that what this word means now? DS used it and I didn’t understand. I asked if it was like a poser and he said no but didn’t explain. Interesting.

It is like a Poser...

But from what PPs are saying, it’s more specific than that. It’s being a poser in certain ways.

Certain ways that are completely made up by the person wishing to throw shade.

[Anonymous]

This kid isn't performative male, changing his hobbies in response to per pressure.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/0/1302370.page#31177658