New holiday gift giving traditions - kids over 18

[Anonymous]

I posted here after Christmas last year. I can’t find the thread but the general theme was that I (married mom) would buy gifts for our sons. My husband would just give them cash. I enjoyed selecting fun meaningful gifts for them. I do not receive gifts back from any of them including husband. Sons are now 18 and older.

We need a new tradition. It should be a gift “exchange” or nothing at all at this point (but perhaps cash) Nothing at all seems like a buzzkill though.

Any suggestions?

[Anonymous]

Wait, your HUSBAND doesn't get you anything? I hope he's amazing in MANY other ways because that's pretty shitty.

Yeah, definitely suggest a gift exchange and maybe have a come to Jesus talk with the kids about what they want the future to look like around Christmas, what their love language is, what yours is, etc. Let them marinate on that and go from there.

[Anonymous]

Secret Santa is always fun. That way they have to buy ONE gift, you get something, and it keeps it light. Set a price limit.

You may like to create a wish list for yourself, so you don’t get stuck with garbage.

You can do stocking stuffers, which are so fun to put together. And just get stuff for your own stocking. You can also task each son with getting something for everyone’s stocking—you can decide on a category, like “sweets” or “useful” or “whimsical.”

Explain to everyone that this means something ti you, and you’d be happy of everyone participates.

[Anonymous]

Buy the boys gifts. Send your husband a list with links.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'd give your sons a little more time, a few more year before you cut them off. They may come around

[Anonymous]

Thoughtless husband and sons. Ick!
I wouldn’t give any of those adult men anything

[Anonymous]

You like shopping and giving so keep doing that. My only caveat would be...are you totally sure they are living what you pick out?? It is hard to find something someone really wants

Buy yourself a gift too. Why wait on someone else who doesn't know what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'd give your sons a little more time, a few more year before you cut them off. They may come around

They haven’t come around for other holidays either - husband does not set a good example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You like shopping and giving so keep doing that. My only caveat would be...are you totally sure they are living what you pick out?? It is hard to find something someone really wants

Buy yourself a gift too. Why wait on someone else who doesn't know what you want.

I think they liked at least some of them. Cash is one sized fits all I know - that’s what my husband would say.

I do buy myself gifts.

Just trying to have fun…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy the boys gifts. Send your husband a list with links.

I read this quickly and thought it said "Send your husband a list with kinks."

[Anonymous]

My spouse is a great gift giver.

As far as kids, some are good and some are not. My youngest just turned 18 and is in college as is our middle child. Oldest has special needs and is working full time with benefits but not great pay. What I am doing now is needs for the older two - kind of getting them ready for independence. But for youngest, I feel like she hasn't had enough fun Christmases before adulting sets in. That being said, pretty soon, I'm going to suggest drawing names and issuing parameters for gift giving. Parameters are necessary because of having a special needs child who needs specific direction.

We also do lots of things together. Like, a day trip to NYC to see decorations in December. And a show - can be community theater or Broadway. We decorate together.

[Anonymous]

Woah. You only have sons and they don’t give you presents? This seems like a training opportunity here. Raise your sons to buy women presents. It’s not always easy for guys to think of what women would like, so they need to work on this before they have annoyed wives.

[Anonymous]

I started dating dh at 21 and I have bought all of his moms presents since then. I don’t think he really gave her gifts. Dh does always buy me nice gifts though.

A Christmas without gifts seems sort of strange. Both sides of our family have always still exchanged presents even after we were grown. Luckily we both had younger siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Woah. You only have sons and they don’t give you presents? This seems like a training opportunity here. Raise your sons to buy women presents. It’s not always easy for guys to think of what women would like, so they need to work on this before they have annoyed wives.

I agree. My son has a girlfriend now and I will be suggesting that he get her a Christmas gift. I will be making other suggestions to them as well as time goes on.

[Anonymous]

Just give them cash like your DH