18yo not showering

[Anonymous]

Visited ds at college this weekend. He smelled of bo and his breath was horrible. I know he is showering and doing laundry but it’s clearly not enough. DH didn’t want me to make too much of it and claimed he couldn’t smell it but ds stinks!!! I brought it up once during our visit. I also asked him to arrive to one of the events showered and in clean clothes. He came smelling of bo wearing the same shirt as the day before but different jeans. He said no one cares, but I found his bo smell really strong. He’s made new friends and girls were saying hi to him. HELP! Any suggestions about how to get him to attend to his personal hygiene would be appreciated. tia

[Anonymous]

Yes, he should improve his hygiene, but I’d be very concerned about his mental health if this is unusual for him. Was he different in any other ways? Any other signs he’s struggling?

[Anonymous]

Omg there was a smelly guy in my freshman dorm. His room was unbearable. He’s a functional adult now, idk.

[Anonymous]

Stop OP
He’s an adult
He’s doing fine you are the problem
If it bothered the other kids he’d shower more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Visited ds at college this weekend. He smelled of bo and his breath was horrible. I know he is showering and doing laundry but it’s clearly not enough. DH didn’t want me to make too much of it and claimed he couldn’t smell it but ds stinks!!! I brought it up once during our visit. I also asked him to arrive to one of the events showered and in clean clothes. He came smelling of bo wearing the same shirt as the day before but different jeans. He said no one cares, but I found his bo smell really strong. He’s made new friends and girls were saying hi to him. HELP! Any suggestions about how to get him to attend to his personal hygiene would be appreciated. tia

Is this how you brought it up or were you more direct?

I'd say, you smell bad are you wearing deodorant? If you are, it's not working. Let's buy you a new brand.

[Anonymous]

Not much you can do except tell him how much he stinks and that those around him very much care when they catch a whif.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, he should improve his hygiene, but I’d be very concerned about his mental health if this is unusual for him. Was he different in any other ways? Any other signs he’s struggling?

Thank you for asking. He’s taking anti-anxiety meds but this no showering/teeth brushing long proceeds college.

[Anonymous]

Yuck!
However, your son is an adult.
MYOB - be like to stink.

[Anonymous]

He ^ - Likes ^

[Anonymous]

People were saying hi to him? Everyone recognizes the gut that reeks.
Made new friends? Do they stink too? Do they hang out? Are they actually friends or is he covering up.
Is he ASD?

[Anonymous]

Have you seen how dirty many younger kids are these days? Unkempt beards, girls with leg and pit hair and even facial hair. Boys with hair a muss and BO, and even girls with BO and cats following them.

Being gross apparently is the cool thing now. It's probably weed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you seen how dirty many younger kids are these days? Unkempt beards, girls with leg and pit hair and even facial hair. Boys with hair a muss and BO, and even girls with BO and cats following them.

Being gross apparently is the cool thing now. It's probably weed.

Oh no!!!! The horrors. Girls with leg hair and pit hair!!!!!!!!!!! Totally unaccaptable. Especailly if followed by cats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also asked him to arrive to one of the events showered and in clean clothes. He came smelling of bo wearing the same shirt as the day before but different jeans.

OP what was the event? Did you need/want to stay for it? Could you have said, "I'll attend the event if you shower and wear clean clothes"? And when he didn't, could you have followed through?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you seen how dirty many younger kids are these days? Unkempt beards, girls with leg and pit hair and even facial hair. Boys with hair a muss and BO, and even girls with BO and cats following them.

Being gross apparently is the cool thing now. It's probably weed.

Oh no!!!! The horrors. Girls with leg hair and pit hair!!!!!!!!!!! Totally unaccaptable. Especailly if followed by cats.

lol about the cats

My dd doesn’t shave. I’m not a fan. But it’s not a hygiene thing. Her father and teen brother dont shave his pits or legs and they are hygienic and don’t smell.

[Anonymous]

care package with deodorant, body wash, laundry detergent etc.? Is it possible he ran out and is to occupied/lazy to buy more?