“Change of Life” babies - If you were born to older or elderly parents, what was your life like?

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure if people still use the term these days but what became of those born later in life to older parents? How old were your parents? How long did they end up living after your birth?

[Anonymous]

My Aunt 10 years.

[Anonymous]

My grandpa was 41 when his first child was born.

He lived to be 99.

It was a normal parenting experience.

I have a friend who married a divorced man in his 50s. They had two kids. He died of cancer in his 70s during his younger son's senior year of high school.

[Anonymous]

I had my youngest when I was 38/nearly 39, and in hindsight that was older than preferred. I had much more energy when I had my other children (had my first at 28).

I envy friends who had their kids earlier.

I hope I live long enough to see my kids fully launched, married, and having kids.

[Anonymous]

My dad was 51 when I was born as the youngest of three. I was always worried about his health and felt older than my age. He was often mistaken for my grandfather. And he died when I was 19 and in college.

My mom was also older than average but there was a big gap in age with my dad. She passed away when I was in my late 40s but was declining mentally before then. I felt sad that my kids didn’t have much of a relationship with a grandparent on my side.

I do not recommend having a child when you are in your 40s or later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad was 51 when I was born as the youngest of three. I was always worried about his health and felt older than my age. He was often mistaken for my grandfather. And he died when I was 19 and in college.

My mom was also older than average but there was a big gap in age with my dad. She passed away when I was in my late 40s but was declining mentally before then. I felt sad that my kids didn’t have much of a relationship with a grandparent on my side.

I do not recommend having a child when you are in your 40s or later.

What did he die of when he was 70? What were his health problems in his 50s and 60s you were worried about?

[Anonymous]

I don't think this is as old as a "change of life" baby but my mother was 38 when she had me in the 1970s and this was older than most moms at this time.

My life was totally normal and I never thought about her age at all. I am now in my 50s and she's just started declining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had my youngest when I was 38/nearly 39, and in hindsight that was older than preferred. I had much more energy when I had my other children (had my first at 28).

I envy friends who had their kids earlier.

I hope I live long enough to see my kids fully launched, married, and having kids.

Damn. What kind of lifestyle are you leaving that you are worried you won't be around and able to observe your child's life in your 60s and 70s when presumably your child will have their own kids, if a woman. I suppose a son can wait longer.

I think if people feel this low energy and pessimistic and certain of an earlier than average death, genuinely it's time to examine your lifestyle. No we cannot control everything and you could drop dead at 75 after a healthy life. But you can do things that improve your odds.

[Anonymous]

My cousin was born to a 42-year old psychiatrist mother, which at the time was much rarer than today, since there were hardly any IVF procedures. My cousin is now 40 and her father and mother still have all their marbles, but her father has recently had a stroke and he had a quadruple bypass 5 years ago.

I think when you reach your 40s, it's psychologically acceptable to have parents in poor health. I'm in my 40s too, 30 years younger than my parents, and my father is in the hospital and doing poorly, so it's not like a shorter age gap between parent and child is necessarily helpful in that quarter.

My husband had his first child at 43 and second at 48. He's in great shape, mentally and physically. No one knows what the future will bring.

[Anonymous]

My grandma had my mom at 38 and mom had me at 31 so she was 69 when she became a grandma. The only thing we ever did together was sit and talk politics when I was a teenager. Still I have good memories.
I don't think bring an older mom affects much, but you're giving up some of the grandma experience.
-39 year old who wants another baby

[Anonymous]

I don't think people use that term anymore. I will say that the 5 yr old doesn't know either of his grandmothers - they both died before he was out of diapers, and I'm not sure the 10 yr old remembers them either - maybe some vague memories.

I grew up with four grandparents and one great-grandparent. They're growing up with two grandpas.

I grew up with parents who had us in their 20's. They were beyond ill-equipped to parent and made some REALLY huge errors. Having children in late 30's and early 40's when you're calmer, have more life experience, more confidence makes a world of difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my youngest when I was 38/nearly 39, and in hindsight that was older than preferred. I had much more energy when I had my other children (had my first at 28).

I envy friends who had their kids earlier.

I hope I live long enough to see my kids fully launched, married, and having kids.

Damn. What kind of lifestyle are you leaving that you are worried you won't be around and able to observe your child's life in your 60s and 70s when presumably your child will have their own kids, if a woman. I suppose a son can wait longer.

I think if people feel this low energy and pessimistic and certain of an earlier than average death, genuinely it's time to examine your lifestyle. No we cannot control everything and you could drop dead at 75 after a healthy life. But you can do things that improve your odds.

If someone has a child at 39, and that child is 39, then they will be 78 when the baby is first born. Actually seeing that grandchild grow up puts someone well into their 80s. It's not unreasonable to be worried about making it to your 80s - cancer, heart attacks, accidents, any number of things happen to otherwise healthy people by that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had my youngest when I was 38/nearly 39, and in hindsight that was older than preferred. I had much more energy when I had my other children (had my first at 28).

I envy friends who had their kids earlier.

I hope I live long enough to see my kids fully launched, married, and having kids.

Damn. What kind of lifestyle are you leaving that you are worried you won't be around and able to observe your child's life in your 60s and 70s when presumably your child will have their own kids, if a woman. I suppose a son can wait longer.

I think if people feel this low energy and pessimistic and certain of an earlier than average death, genuinely it's time to examine your lifestyle. No we cannot control everything and you could drop dead at 75 after a healthy life. But you can do things that improve your odds.

If someone has a child at 39, and that child is 39, then they will be 78 when the baby is first born. Actually seeing that grandchild grow up puts someone well into their 80s. It's not unreasonable to be worried about making it to your 80s - cancer, heart attacks, accidents, any number of things happen to otherwise healthy people by that point.

Yes, that could all happen. The kid could wait until 39 to have a first child and you could be a 78 year old who dies the next day.

I dunno. You can get in your car and get run over on the way home.

My thought is have children when you and the person you are with are emotionally stable and mature enough to be a decent parent.

[Anonymous]

A decade difference between me and my brothers. It was growing up as an only child. It has taken along time in our adult life for them to view me as a peer. They didn't know much about my growing-up day to day life. When I was in elementary school, I mostly saw them when I visited at their college/grad school. Sometimes my parents would let me visit, just me, which are great memories (and they kept me away from any wild stuff)

I didn't see my parents as old. I remember asking them why they weren't closer to certain of my friend's parents. "Dear, they are so much younger than we are." I didn't see that. They were all just parents, why did anything else matter.

Op, I don't think it's a bad thing, not at all. If the child is wanted, all is good.

[Anonymous]

My Dad was born 17 years after the youngest sibling in his family. There were originally 6.
His parents were 46. This was 80 years ago so his nephews and nieces were his siblings. All ok but he's a little spoiled.

Was so funny to hear my Gramma talk about it. And that's exactly what she said. Change of life.