Managing kid's hopes re: private school and financial aid?

[Anonymous]

DD13 would really like to attend a specific private all-girls HS. I'm open to it, and believe she would be admitted, but it depends on how much FA we get: we simply cannot afford full freight. Commute is also an obstacle.

Our local public HS is very good and DD has friends headed there. I don't want her to think it is a "disappointing" option. But, I can see advantages to the private school and agree it would be a more comfortable environment for her specific personality.

Should I let her apply and get her hopes up? Or decide that it just doesn't work for our family and not put her through the up and down of applying, only to get in with a FA package that is still too much for us to take on?

[Anonymous]

Team up with her. Work out together how much you guys need for FA. If you have saved enough for collage tuition, and the hs tuition would not burn you out, I think it worths a try. No matter you choose in the end, please make her involve in decision making.

[Anonymous]

If there is no way you could afford it without a full ride, I would say do not apply.

If you could make it work with financial aid, then you need to be honest with her about how much you'd need to make it feasible and still have money to send her to college. I know a lot of people do not like talking with their kids about money, but this conversation will play out again in four years when she is looking at college so might as well be grounded in reality now. Schools do not have a ton of money for financial aid, but it does vary from year to year and if it's a place she/you feel is a good fit, give it a try.

[Anonymous]

How much FA aid do you need? Some schools put out stats at what their average grant size is. Most schools I'm aware of have averages below 50%. So if you need 50% or more I would probably not apply. Also the commute issue is another big issue. If you don't have a realistic plan for how she gets there and home its also not worth applying.

[Anonymous]

The average Financial Aid Package offered is about 50% of tuition.

If you really need 75% or more, than you are really talking about a low probability thing.

[Anonymous]

One thing to also consider is that the application process itself takes a lot of time and is designed to sell you on the school. It’s a big investment even to apply and most likely will end up with her wanting to attend even more.

Which is all to say, if you don’t think you’ll be able to send her- pull the bandaid off now and don’t apply.

[Anonymous]

Sketch out your finances and we can give you a sense of the likelihood. Be honest. The schools see everything.

[Anonymous]

Make sure she understands that family resources are not unlimited and there are opportunity costs. If HS dollars mean fewer college dollars, that will be more limiting for her life than going to public HS.
Also make sure she understands the commuting time, cost, stress.
Does she have any more feasible "dreams"? Lessons, hobbies. Social sctivities?

[Anonymous]

She's a big girl.

When our fifth grader wanted to go to private school we told her what the cost would be and made clear that if she applied and got in it would all come down to financial aid. When she got in and the aid wasn't enough, she understood. And off she went to public school.

Your eighth grader can handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much FA aid do you need? Some schools put out stats at what their average grant size is. Most schools I'm aware of have averages below 50%. So if you need 50% or more I would probably not apply. Also the commute issue is another big issue. If you don't have a realistic plan for how she gets there and home its also not worth applying.

This.

[Anonymous]

Temporarily stop funding your retirement if she gets in, so you can pay for it.

[Anonymous]

Key questions. Are both parents working falling time? Do you have a big 529? Do you own a home and do you have equity in the home? If one parent is not employed or fully employed, that will hurt you. Same with a big 529 and tons of equity in your home. Schools are leery about giving aid to families that are very comfortable but just don’t want to pay the price. It would be better if you drove up in a leased Range Rover on you way to a full time job than for you to drive up in an older Honda on your way to Pilates.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t let her apply. The high and low of getting in but not getting to go is too much. If you need financial aid, it’s not worth it. What if the financial aid gets reduced or cut the following year? How do you keep up with the expenses of private school sports and service trips? How will she feel when she sees the lifestyle of the wealthy girls who travel to glamorous vacations every long weekend? It’s all a lot. I think it’s a much better example to say that the $20,000 a year you would spend, for example, is better put towards her college.

I love our private all girls school but it’s not worth a financial sacrifice.

[Anonymous]

IDK, my DD asked that we not show her any school we could not afford. I think it's better to be able to afford it full-pay, and then be happily surprised if FA makes it even more attractive.

[Anonymous]

What is your income?