There's an elementary-school aged transgendered kid in my neighborhood

[Anonymous]

And it's really no big deal.

Yesterday, my kids were talking about playing with their friend, "John", a 5th grader. I had never heard them mention John before and asked if John was new to the neighborhood. My DD explained that John used to go by Jane, but is transgendered, identifies as a boy, and that's what the kids call him now. I remembered Jane as a girl that has had a buzz cut for years.

I'm only posting because my kid were so nonchalant in discussing it, you'd have right they were discussing John picking a new favorite color. It made me proud of them but also hurt my heart that there are so many callous, mean-spirited adults that can't approach this issue with the same level of acceptance. It can really be so simple.

[Anonymous]

Apparently it is a big enough deal for you that you felt the need to make a post here.

[Anonymous]

Yes our kids will grow up with trans kids and it will seem normal to them but will always stand out to us... since we were indoctrinated to see them as "others".

Just like we (some of us) grew up with Black kids and our parents would refer to them as the 'black friend" and our normal friendship with them stood out to our parents because when they grew up black families were always "othered".

[Anonymous]

Yes. When we tell our kids that 10 years ago, gay people couldn’t get married, they were like what??

[Anonymous]

I honestly don’t know what the right calls are here, but one thing I do think would make things easier logistically is if all school public bathrooms had floor to ceiling individual toilet stalls which open directly off hallways and open sink areas. This would solve problems with vaping, consensual and non consensual sexual behavior, bullying, fights, etc. and as a byproduct the sex identity issue is less concerning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And it's really no big deal.

Yesterday, my kids were talking about playing with their friend, "John", a 5th grader. I had never heard them mention John before and asked if John was new to the neighborhood. My DD explained that John used to go by Jane, but is transgendered, identifies as a boy, and that's what the kids call him now. I remembered Jane as a girl that has had a buzz cut for years.

I'm only posting because my kid were so nonchalant in discussing it, you'd have right they were discussing John picking a new favorite color. It made me proud of them but also hurt my heart that there are so many callous, mean-spirited adults that can't approach this issue with the same level of acceptance. It can really be so simple.

Of course it’s simple before puberty. Issues will get thornier as John gets older. Will gay guys or straight girls who aren’t transgender be willing to date John? Will John be safe in men’s restrooms as an adult?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. When we tell our kids that 10 years ago, gay people couldn’t get married, they were like what??

One difference is these were adults, and you can change your mind later even as an adult (get a divorce).

There's lots of things we don't allow children to do until they are adults, because children aren't great at understanding the consequences of permanent decisions..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And it's really no big deal.

Yesterday, my kids were talking about playing with their friend, "John", a 5th grader. I had never heard them mention John before and asked if John was new to the neighborhood. My DD explained that John used to go by Jane, but is transgendered, identifies as a boy, and that's what the kids call him now. I remembered Jane as a girl that has had a buzz cut for years.

I'm only posting because my kid were so nonchalant in discussing it, you'd have right they were discussing John picking a new favorite color. It made me proud of them but also hurt my heart that there are so many callous, mean-spirited adults that can't approach this issue with the same level of acceptance. It can really be so simple.

Of course it’s simple before puberty. Issues will get thornier as John gets older. Will gay guys or straight girls who aren’t transgender be willing to date John? Will John be safe in men’s restrooms as an adult?

I'm pretty sure John will be at least as safe as Jane will be in a parking garage. Or on a date. Or in a park. Or anywhere else women need to be concerned for safety.

[Anonymous]

We used to simply call the person a “tomboy,” and move on with life.

It was an extremely common phase for so many girls, and we grew out of it.

What the hell has happened to our society?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. When we tell our kids that 10 years ago, gay people couldn’t get married, they were like what??

My kids reaction to Sixteen Candles and realizing we thought date rape was normal was wild. Oh dang! Yea you are right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We used to simply call the person a “tomboy,” and move on with life.

It was an extremely common phase for so many girls, and we grew out of it.

What the hell has happened to our society?

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. When we tell our kids that 10 years ago, gay people couldn’t get married, they were like what??

One difference is these were adults, and you can change your mind later even as an adult (get a divorce).

There's lots of things we don't allow children to do until they are adults, because children aren't great at understanding the consequences of permanent decisions..

Okay... when I tell my kids that all the gay people in my elementary school and HS had to pretend they were straight until college... or their 30's or after they divorced in their 40's and had a full on family.

[Anonymous]

My teen DD has neurodivergent and gender-fluid or transitioning friends in her high school (studies show that transgender people are more likely to be neurodivergent than the general population). To her they are her friends. It's all so simple and beautiful. In our wealthy liberal bubble, youths are innocent and sheltered and don't know how truly monstrous the world can get. It's my job to explain to her that some of her friends are at high risk of being discriminated against over the course of their lives; that physical transitioning has real medical consequences; and that she needs to keep all this at the back of her mind. "Living one's truth" is all very well, but my job as a parent is to instill a more nuanced and mature outlook. She needs to understand the full measure of what some of her friends are facing. And she is capable of that: she herself has a serious chronic auto-immune disease, and she knows her quality of life will diminish much earlier than her healthy peers. Perhaps she gravitated towards these friends because she feels some sort of kinship.

[Anonymous]

I'm a middle school teacher. None of them care that some of their peers are transgendered. Only the parents have a fit.

[Anonymous]

My HS junior DS has a trans female friend. In their mixed-gender friend group, she is just one of the girls. DS can't understand why anyone would want to ban her from the girls bathroom - she looks female, if you didn't know her whole life story you'd have no idea she was born with male parts. It would be 100% inappropriate and unsafe for her to walk into the boy's bathroom.

Younger DC has a couple of gender fluid friends. It's a total non-issue for anyone in their group. The kids can go by Jane or John and nobody cares.