Device usage when hanging with friends

[Anonymous]

Would love to hear from other parents on whether this is just how it is these days or this is abnormal/excessive.

DD is in 7th grade and she and her friends spend WAY too much time on their devices when they are all together hanging out after school or on weekends. Literally all they want to do is film dance videos, play Roblox or watch other people’s videos on CapCut (none of her close friends have any social media). They literally do this for hours and want to do nothing else. Last night she had 2 friends sleep over and I shut the WiFi off at 9:30pm after they had been doing this since 4pm and barely broke for dinner. DD told me this is why she prefers going to her friends’ houses since their parents let them be on their devices for as long as they want. This is a good group of mostly straight A kids from good families who are involved.

I feel like it’s too much and am wondering what rules others have in place when hanging with friends. Do you allow them to be on their devices as much as they want?

[Anonymous]

Most people aren’t managing screen time of middle schoolers during sleepovers or watching them in detail like you are. Your DD is right, this is why they should have them at others houses. Turning off WiFi at a sleepover in middle school is insane. Don’t allow sleepovers.

I can’t stand them being up all night making noise, which is why I stopped allowing them.

[Anonymous]

What do you envision them doing?

[Anonymous]

I’m 10:12 again and have older teens but thinking back to 7th grade. Both of my kids had practice times that year where they got home later than 9:30 on school nights. I still can’t get over that you shut off wifi at 9:30 at a sleepover on the weekend. You are treating them like they are in early elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 10:12 again and have older teens but thinking back to 7th grade. Both of my kids had practice times that year where they got home later than 9:30 on school nights. I still can’t get over that you shut off wifi at 9:30 at a sleepover on the weekend. You are treating them like they are in early elementary school.

I didn’t tell them to go to sleep, I told them to watch a movie, hang out, bake cookies, etc.

What did we all do before technology? We talked and hung out. They had been playing Roblox off and on for 6.5 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you envision them doing?

I don’t know, maybe playing outside since it was really nice yesterday, talking/gossiping, watching a movie, baking. There is plenty to do that doesn’t require having a phone or iPad in your hand for more than 6 hours straight, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m 10:12 again and have older teens but thinking back to 7th grade. Both of my kids had practice times that year where they got home later than 9:30 on school nights. I still can’t get over that you shut off wifi at 9:30 at a sleepover on the weekend. You are treating them like they are in early elementary school.

I didn’t tell them to go to sleep, I told them to watch a movie, hang out, bake cookies, etc.

What did we all do before technology? We talked and hung out. They had been playing Roblox off and on for 6.5 hours.

Exactly. I don’t know why people think that’s a crazy idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you envision them doing?

I don’t know, maybe playing outside since it was really nice yesterday, talking/gossiping, watching a movie, baking. There is plenty to do that doesn’t require having a phone or iPad in your hand for more than 6 hours straight, no?

+1 I agree with you op, maybe I wouldn't say no screens, but id try to curb it alot. I don't understand why parents are so ok with so much screen time.

[Anonymous]

Everyone puts their phones in a basket near the front door when they come in the house. They can use it if they need but only standing near the basket.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused how watching a movie is less "screen time" than something active like filming videos or playing roblox.

I'm equally confused how these kids are using your wifi. I have never provided my wifi code to a kid who came over with my phone, they all have have cell signal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused how watching a movie is less "screen time" than something active like filming videos or playing roblox.

I'm equally confused how these kids are using your wifi. I have never provided my wifi code to a kid who came over with my phone, they all have have cell signal.

We have no reception in our house but that aside, if one person is on the WiFi with an Apple device (my DD) you can automatically share the password with any other devices that request it. So your kids may be sharing it with their friends without you knowing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you envision them doing?

Seriously? They're 12-13 they should still be able to entertain themselves without constant screens.

[Anonymous]

Plan a fun activity or take them out. Its boring just being at a house for hours with nothing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you envision them doing?

Seriously? They're 12-13 they should still be able to entertain themselves without constant screens.

Okay, I’m the parent of older kids and this is also fine. But your house your rules. Everyone agrees with that. So why post at all?

Many DCUM parents will agree with strict screen time limits because all of us know that’s a thing here. IRL, you won’t see the same.

Do what you want, OP. Your house, your rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you envision them doing?

I don’t know, maybe playing outside since it was really nice yesterday, talking/gossiping, watching a movie, baking. There is plenty to do that doesn’t require having a phone or iPad in your hand for more than 6 hours straight, no?

No. This is just how kids interact now. Sorry. Get used to it.