No red flags in the first person I met dating post divorce?
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Anonymous
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I need some dcum thoughts here.
I met someone a few weeks after my divorce. We met organically before I was even thinking of dating. They were also recently divorced (same day oddly). We connected as friends for 2 months before he asked me on a date and we've been together for a year now. He has been absolutely wonderful- communicative, thoughtful, very smart, emotionally intelligent, funny, reliable, attentive, interesting, a true friend, absolutely mindblowing sex. He's also a very high earner and has treated me to fun events, spas, long weekends away. But you'd never know and he's super handy, down to earth, loves to thrift for second hand treasures to upcycle. He's a great cook, gardens, is close with his extended family, has nice, interesting, stable long term friends. His friends wives have all been kind and welcoming. His mom and I really hit it off. There's some minor annoyances at times- he leaves the toilet seat up often, leaves kitchen cabinets open, is usually 5-15 min late for things. Obviously those are nothing in the grand scheme. I just keep thinking something has to go wrong. I was mentally preparing to enter the dating app world some day and have to go through the gauntlet for years to find someone decent. Am I crazy? Can this happen? |
Anonymous
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Yep it happens. Usually it’s men who jump into a relationship right after a divorce, and often it’s with very lovely (albeit naive) women. I know several men who moved girlfriends in after a divorce to help with the kids, and most of them are fantastic women who raise their kids as if they are their own.
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Anonymous
| Right now you are the red flag. Take time to work on yourself and heal. |
Anonymous
| Well it sounds fine but he’s likely not interested in remarriage or possibly even anything long term. |
Anonymous
This. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
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I have friends that were on the same divorce timeline and got together and married in short order. It seems to have worked for them, but nobody really knows what’s going on in other relationships. If there are no kids (or adult kids), this seems less risky.
The circumstances of both divorces are relevant, though. If these were long marriages, you should both be wary of simply filling a blank. But still, if no kids? Likely no harm. |
Anonymous
| Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Jeez. You have no idea how these are such piddly little things. |
Anonymous
| You're missing something... |
Anonymous
| If he’s so great, why did his wife throw him back in the sea? |
Anonymous
I disagree with this. The best thing is to get back on the horse. Plus, most women, by the time they file for divorce, have already spent 2-5 years grieving and processing the end of the relationship. Enjoy him, OP. |
Anonymous
A year isn’t “long term”??? |
Anonymous
No, not to rich dudes. He may just want the GFE. Once sh*t gets real he may toss her back. One year is nothing. Also OP doesn’t know about red flags because they could be hidden. A friend of mine ended up with a raging alcoholic who was sober for the few years post-divorce that they were together. |
Anonymous
This. Not to say you need to break up, but have the conversations with your boyfriend now about what went wrong in your marriages. If it’s that both your exes are crazy/abusive/lazy whatever…then it’s likely you are just going to repeat your patterns. |
Anonymous
| Yeah a guy that great..:why isn’t he still married? Dig deeper because when something seems too good to be true it often is. But there are exceptions and if so consider yourself fortunate! |