Another midlife possibly lesbian post
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Anonymous
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I know I'm not the only one coming off divorce from a man thinking about dating women. But given that dating another woman would involve another person's feelings, consent, lack of interest by many people in newfound gay ladies, etc., yes I've read the threads here - I'm trying to figure out how to ... figure this out.
Is this just a reaction to my divorce? Perimenopausal hormone surge? I've recently met someone (who is not available for an actual dating relationship with me) and I cannot stop thinking about her. I finally feel a bit of empathy for men because I just imagine undressing her and all the things we'd do instead of focusing on work, life, kids, etc. Visually she is just wow and incredibly kind as a person. I feel like a teenager again. I think this is probably just what is called a crush and it will fade but how do I figure out if I should explore this more? Not with her-I'm keeping as a fantasy-but more generally. Do you start with therapy or do you actually start putting yourself out there? |
Anonymous
| Girl go date some women. We’re all here in our mid 40s figuring out we love other women. Just as surprised as you are. |
Anonymous
<3 |
Anonymous
This is not something heterosexual women ever think about. Ever. |
Anonymous
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Go for it! I did and it is great. Just be upfront about where you are in your journey. There will be some life long lesbians that won’t be interested and that is fair. But there will be other women in a similar situation and/or open to dating a “late bloomer”.
I started on a couple apps with my settings to “women”. You can be clear in your profile that you are a newbie and let women decide upfront whether they are interested. |
Anonymous
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Yep, another one here who used to be married to a man.
Go on some dating sites, but also try joining lesbian social meetups to just meet and talk to people and find support. There are a lot of women out here like us. Just an anecdote… several years in, I am firmly settled down with a woman and with many lesbian friends. A couple of years ago, a lesbian friend was considering a relationship with a woman who was newly out and had never been in a relationship before. I told her, “but Larla, remember I was once someone who had never dated women before!” - a lightbulb went on, and Larla and this woman are now in a solid relationship. There are definitely lesbians who won’t date newly out women, but many more are willing to try. |
Anonymous
+1 my marriage is pretty much over and I'm thinking the same thing. Men are just underdeveloped emotionally and I want more. |
Anonymous
All women are lesbians on some level. |
Anonymous
| I think about it often |
Anonymous
| OP here. Y'all thank you for the support. My life has been falling apart and crumbling around me and there's a long way to go but im actually sitting here with a stupid smile on my face excited for the future. |
Anonymous
| Yes! Grab the joy! I'm excited for you! And even if dating women isn't for you, at least you will have tried and had some fun. |
Anonymous
| It seems easier for women to embrace being lesbian in midlife than it is for men to embrace being gay in midlife. The privileges of being a woman are few enough, take advantage where you can. |
Anonymous
I see this posted but no it’s not true. |
Anonymous
+1 It takes time for newly out LGBT people to relearn that they can't use themselves as an example of the average person. Most people are straight. Unfortunately. |
Anonymous
I know that lesbians have kids but it is not as common as it is with heterosexual couples. |