This is totally reasonable right?

[Anonymous]

We are a blended family with 2 teens who are close in age.

The teen that is not mine often alleges that I favor the one I gave birth to. I try hard not to, but sometimes I want reality checks.

If one kid has an activity at the library that ends at 3:00, and the other kid has an activity 5 minutes away from him that ends at 4:00, it is reasonable for me to ask library kid to chill at the library for 55 minutes, doing homework or whatever.

We all, including both kids, have somewhere to be at 4:30 so metro isn’t an option. Other parent is taking another kid somewhere, so isn’t available for pick up.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think your example is helpful. Would you make your own kid wait 55 minutes? I think that’s fine to do. But don’t know if you’d make both of them do it.

[Anonymous]

An hour is a little long. What was the alternative in that situation?

[Anonymous]

The complaining teen's biological parent needs to shut-down the teen's complaining.

[Anonymous]

It depends how far away the library is. 10 minutes or less from you, not reasonable because easy to do two runs. More than 10 minutes, totally reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I think that's fair. I think it might me nice to pick up at 3 and get boba or something sometimes. Or let them have screen time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends how far away the library is. 10 minutes or less from you, not reasonable because easy to do two runs. More than 10 minutes, totally reasonable.

Yes I amend my answer and agree to this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think that's fair. I think it might me nice to pick up at 3 and get boba or something sometimes. Or let them have screen time.

Screen time? They're teenagers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends how far away the library is. 10 minutes or less from you, not reasonable because easy to do two runs. More than 10 minutes, totally reasonable.

Yes to this.

[Anonymous]

Of course it's fine - they can spend an hour doing homework, studying, reading, etc. If they aren't spending an hour a day studying and/or doing homework then they better be getting straight A's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think your example is helpful. Would you make your own kid wait 55 minutes? I think that’s fine to do. But don’t know if you’d make both of them do it.

OP here,

I have definitely made my kid wait for me at pickup, but never at the library because it hasn’t come up.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the library. If it is full of homeless people on drugs such that it is uncomfortable, I wouldn’t want either kid just hanging out there.

I agree with the PP that if the library is nice and safe, it’s OK if you live a far distance but if you are close you should pick them up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I think that's fair. I think it might me nice to pick up at 3 and get boba or something sometimes. Or let them have screen time.

Screen time? They're teenagers.

Oh ha. My teen has their phone locked down, but I realize we are in the minority.

[Anonymous]

Since it sounds like you have a somewhat rocky relationship with this kid, it might be nice to sometimes (not necessarily every time) pick up at 3 and spend 1:1 time with them, getting a treat and chatting.

[Anonymous]

Are you a blended family who has been blended as long as the kids remember? Or in the past few years? Or something in between?

If this is a regular thing I would probably make an effort to get the kid around 3 at least some of the time to do something fun with them before picking up the other kid together.

If the kid waiting at the library is not yours, and you're picking up your kid first (even if they're on the way) and then getting the other kid at the library every time, the optics and hurt feelings of that would be pretty bad, IMO.