How much to give for bar mitzvah

[Anonymous]

What’s a good amount to give for a classmate bar mitzvah. Only child classmate is attending (not family)

[Anonymous]

In that case with just the kid attending, 36-72 is the general range we got. (Multiples of 18 are common but not necessary).

[Anonymous]

We always gave $36, but maybe that was on the low end. I would say that $36 is plenty if you don't know the kids well.

[Anonymous]

$54

[Anonymous]

Are they going to the party? At least $54.

[Anonymous]

$54 is perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We always gave $36, but maybe that was on the low end. I would say that $36 is plenty if you don't know the kids well.

Agree with above. $36 for classmate that they didn’t socialize with outside school. $54 for a typical friend. We did give $72 if it was a best friend. This was a couple years ago though.

[Anonymous]

We did $54. The kids didn’t even know each other and our families aren’t close. We didn’t attend.

[Anonymous]

If it's a nice party, I'd do $72 - $108. For just a kid party, I think $54 is fine. Depends on the crowd.

[Anonymous]

May I ask what is bar mitzvah? A celebration of becoming teenagers?

[Anonymous]

We give $20 for all birthdays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We give $20 for all birthdays.

You are very cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:May I ask what is bar mitzvah? A celebration of becoming teenagers?

A Jewish religion coming of age ceremony. Their first chance to lead and teach at a service upon reaching age 12 Or 13. They read from the Torah, give a speech interpreting what they have read, and lead parts of the service. It’s a significant amount of studying and practicing to prepare for.

Then there is often a big party - sometimes wedding-like (think hotel ballroom, dj, sit down dinner).

So while it’s partially a birthday celebrating reaching a certain ago, it’s really celebrating their learning and hard work and entry into a new phase of community.

[Anonymous]

I hate the expectation that you have to give money - and it’s a substantial amount too. And often kids are invited that really don’t know the kid. That’s why it feels like a money grab.

[Anonymous]

I would do $72. This is typically helps parents pay for college and of course the party too. It is a way for the community to support each other. Less than $50 and you look bad.