If you don’t want your kid to ever have a play date with another kid
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Anonymous
| Just ignore the repeated play date requests, say you are busy (even though it may be obvious you are not) or say the real reason why? |
Anonymous
|
You could be honest. "Chelsea seems to get upset every time she and Lindsey play together, so I think it's best they take a break from playdates for a while."
I refer to it as "taking a break" when talking about kids friendships because they can shift so quickly and kids can go through phases that involve acting out and then get more mature or therapy that helps them and then they're a great friend. So that sets the stage that while NOW it's not a good idea it might be in the future. |
Anonymous
What if the honest reason just isn’t kind? |
Anonymous
| Just make up excuses. Sorry, things are crazy busy and we’ve had to take a break from play dates. |
Anonymous
| Can you say something not unkind like upset, not get along, etc. |
Anonymous
|
“Things are too hectic with back to school! Another time!” “This is a really busy weekend for us so it doesn’t work!” “Things are crazy with the holidays! We have so much travel we don’t have any free weekends!” And on and on until they take a hint |
Anonymous
| What is the actual reason? And then we can help to put it kindly. |
Anonymous
| The real reason? That I need downtime. I've got a feeling you wouldn't be happy with that, because it's almost taboo in this world to be an introvert who wants peace and quiet and not too much work to do. |
Anonymous
I actually think that’s fine. |
Anonymous
| We don’t do playdates for similar reasons. My kids play together and it’s just not worth the stress to do one with another kid. |
Anonymous
|
OP your reason is not unkind at all, it's highly relatable. I would just say that -- "We're not doing playdates right now to keep things simple and reduce stress. I figure the kids get plenty of playtime at school and activities."
I would be THRILLED to hear this from another parent. It would be freeing. |
Anonymous
| The real reason is kind. Just let them know that. Unkind would be that you think your kid is too good for their kid, or something like that. The real reason is also something more people than you think can understand—even if we aren’t introverts, most of us have a friend or family member who is one. |
Anonymous
If you said that to me I would find it totally relatable and reasonable. |
Anonymous
| The other thing to consider is are you burnt out? You said you never want you kid to have a play date. Wonder if that is best for your kids in the long run. Look into what you can do to take care of yourself. Hopefully with time you can address that and be ready for your kids to have friendships outside of your home. |
Anonymous
| If you make up enough excuses/say no enough times they’ll eventually stop asking. How old is your kid(s)? Mine are 10 and 8. I feel similarly to you but I tried to force myself to be more social and make more social plans for my kids for years and now I feel like it’s even harder to just say no because in the past we’ve been very open to play dates. Nothing changed except that I’m finally exhausted enough by socializing that I just wish we didn’t do it most of the time. |