15 year old is smoking weed

[Anonymous]

I saw a text message that I wasn't supposed to see referring to "chiefing" (I had to look it up), along with a couple of photos. I've suspected it for a few months though - a lot of "hanging out" with friends at the park and being super secretive/protective of his phone (which is why I snooped). I have an older DC (18) who I know drinks sometimes, but I'm fairly certain isn't into weed, and definitely wasn't doing anything at this age (partly due to Covid, he also wasn't really going out with friends in the evenings until 11th grade).
What should i do? WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Weekly home pee tests

Until we did that with direct consequences for a positive (loss of phone, loss of allowance, loss of travel sport) it continued. And he hung around losers and his grades dropped and it was terrible.

Now he hangs with his sports friends, better crowd and is much nicer person. Grades are better. I don’t get parents that just say oh it’s the age. It isn’t. It’s the crowd and the lack of focus and issues. Trust me OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weekly home pee tests

Until we did that with direct consequences for a positive (loss of phone, loss of allowance, loss of travel sport) it continued. And he hung around losers and his grades dropped and it was terrible.

Now he hangs with his sports friends, better crowd and is much nicer person. Grades are better. I don’t get parents that just say oh it’s the age. It isn’t. It’s the crowd and the lack of focus and issues. Trust me OP

Of course. All it took was stop smoking weed and he turned into a different person.

[Anonymous]

home tests are a joke our kid who is now in recovery, manipulated them for a long time. Unless you are observing him, he can manipulate them.

[Anonymous]

A 15 year old lost into weed is just sad. THC in the formative, adolescent years completely alters normal brain development. It's a very dangerous thing at this stage of neurological development. I think the parents that let this slide are completely nuts. And basically guilty of child abuse. You are changing their brain development by letting this slide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 15 year old lost into weed is just sad. THC in the formative, adolescent years completely alters normal brain development. It's a very dangerous thing at this stage of neurological development. I think the parents that let this slide are completely nuts. And basically guilty of child abuse. You are changing their brain development by letting this slide.

Helpful.

[Anonymous]

No more friends and no more phone until pee tests are clear. Weed use caused psychosis in my son. It's strong stuff these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw a text message that I wasn't supposed to see referring to "chiefing" (I had to look it up), along with a couple of photos. I've suspected it for a few months though - a lot of "hanging out" with friends at the park and being super secretive/protective of his phone (which is why I snooped). I have an older DC (18) who I know drinks sometimes, but I'm fairly certain isn't into weed, and definitely wasn't doing anything at this age (partly due to Covid, he also wasn't really going out with friends in the evenings until 11th grade).
What should i do? WWYD?

Start searching his room and bags.

Tell him you suspected and tell him what you found. I wouldn't punish unless and until I found it in the house or on him. But 'punishment' alone will do nothing. You have to talk to him about why it is so bad. Show him scholarly articles. Especially if this is vaping - there are so many testimonials from other teens and and parent about weed vapes out there. If you don't already know, try to see if you can find out what is behind it. It could just be boredom/summer or could be more.

[Anonymous]

We basically had same situation and did the above. Didn’t punish, but confiscated everything I found. Got on same page with friend’s parents and we always shared everything we found. Told him we absolutely didn’t want him smoking alone. To buy stuff that was “reliable.”

The one parent who freaked out and did drug tests had the wildest child, as well as the parent who blamed everyone else’s kids. The parents who worked together had best outcomes. None of them addicted to pot 5 years later, though occasionally smoke.

[Anonymous]

pp, same situation down to older brother who drinks but not until later and never tried pot.

[Anonymous]

Make him do a report on the neurological effects of drugs on a developing brain. Find some videos where kids OD and are permanently impaired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 15 year old lost into weed is just sad. THC in the formative, adolescent years completely alters normal brain development. It's a very dangerous thing at this stage of neurological development. I think the parents that let this slide are completely nuts. And basically guilty of child abuse. You are changing their brain development by letting this slide.

OP: That's a little strong considering I just figured this out. I also don't think he's "lost into weed" at this point - he's a basketball player and an A student. But I completely agree it's dangerous. Trying to figure out the best way to intervene, especially bc he doesn't know that I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 15 year old lost into weed is just sad. THC in the formative, adolescent years completely alters normal brain development. It's a very dangerous thing at this stage of neurological development. I think the parents that let this slide are completely nuts. And basically guilty of child abuse. You are changing their brain development by letting this slide.

OP: That's a little strong considering I just figured this out. I also don't think he's "lost into weed" at this point - he's a basketball player and an A student. But I completely agree it's dangerous. Trying to figure out the best way to intervene, especially bc he doesn't know that I know.

You’re fooling yourself if you think this is too strong. You intervene swiftly and without hesitation. This is SERIOUS!

[Anonymous]

I’d sit him down and give him a chance to come clean first without fear of punishment. Then he can help you plan a way to stay sober. I’d be much nicer if he were honest. If he doesn’t fess up though I’d drug test immediately and I’d ground him until he can pass a drug test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 15 year old lost into weed is just sad. THC in the formative, adolescent years completely alters normal brain development. It's a very dangerous thing at this stage of neurological development. I think the parents that let this slide are completely nuts. And basically guilty of child abuse. You are changing their brain development by letting this slide.

OP: That's a little strong considering I just figured this out. I also don't think he's "lost into weed" at this point - he's a basketball player and an A student. But I completely agree it's dangerous. Trying to figure out the best way to intervene, especially bc he doesn't know that I know.

You’re fooling yourself if you think this is too strong. You intervene swiftly and without hesitation. This is SERIOUS!

It's strong to say that a kid who has tried weed a few times is "lost." If that were true, about 2/3rds of the GenZ population is lost at this point.

But yes it is serious and requires intervention.