Are many people over sensitive and selfish these days? Or is this just my impression from here and social media?

[Anonymous]

Reading posts on here, and occasionally on Reddit, and it seems like people get anxious and offended more easily and feel justified in making others accommodate their needs in ways that my generation (X) didn’t expect.

Ex’s.
The poster with the waitress teen dd who doesn’t know what to do when boys/men ask for her number. (Not so much that op, but others who claim it’s harassment that the boss needs to fix for her)

(I see lots of this sort of sentiment on Reddit, which I assume trends younger. Everything is harassment, bullying, etc which warrants adult/supervisor intervention)

A law partner colleague who tells me he’s not allowed to mark up a young associate’s work too much, as advised by HR. He says if he marks up their drafts too much, they run to HR.

Thoughts? I want to live in a more careful and kind society, but I think that goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

JFC here we go again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:JFC here we go again

Are you a delicate flower?

[Anonymous]

Millennials are entitled. Lots of millennials have children right now.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a mix of a lot of things. I'm an older millennial and participation trophies and all that were part of my childhood. We didn't do homecoming kings/queens or vote on any yearbook superlatives so that kids feelings wouldn't get hurt.

There is good and bad with what I see happening on SM. The whole "cancel culture" is pretty ridiculous. People take things out of context, dig up things from the past, or don't allow you to make one bad choice/mistake.

People also have fake outrage/hurt etc in order to go viral. Saw one recently where she made up an entire story of an interaction she had between two other shoppers and her TikTok got a ton of views. Then the story fell apart and oops, turns out it was made up.

But, there is good too. People don't put up with stuff as much. The "be quiet and don't create a scene" is going away. When I was waitressing, I was told to "take it as a compliment" that I was being hit on or "just be polite about it, don't upset the customer". Which , looking back is pretty ridiculous that I had to put up with customers hitting on me and at times groping me and was told to be nice and not upset them. Now, it's much more acceptable to call people out on that and not put up with it. That doesn't make anyone sensitive or dramatic.

As for your law associate, I have a hard time believing him. He either got reported by someone for legitimate reasons and now holds a grudge or he's one of those male jerks in the workplace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a mix of a lot of things. I'm an older millennial and participation trophies and all that were part of my childhood. We didn't do homecoming kings/queens or vote on any yearbook superlatives so that kids feelings wouldn't get hurt.

There is good and bad with what I see happening on SM. The whole "cancel culture" is pretty ridiculous. People take things out of context, dig up things from the past, or don't allow you to make one bad choice/mistake.

People also have fake outrage/hurt etc in order to go viral. Saw one recently where she made up an entire story of an interaction she had between two other shoppers and her TikTok got a ton of views. Then the story fell apart and oops, turns out it was made up.

But, there is good too. People don't put up with stuff as much. The "be quiet and don't create a scene" is going away. When I was waitressing, I was told to "take it as a compliment" that I was being hit on or "just be polite about it, don't upset the customer". Which , looking back is pretty ridiculous that I had to put up with customers hitting on me and at times groping me and was told to be nice and not upset them. Now, it's much more acceptable to call people out on that and not put up with it. That doesn't make anyone sensitive or dramatic.

As for your law associate, I have a hard time believing him. He either got reported by someone for legitimate reasons and now holds a grudge or he's one of those male jerks in the workplace.

You’re definitely a millennial. 🙄

[Anonymous]

I’m Gen X and I thought the mantra of my people was, “Whatever.” Nothing bothers me and I let everything roll off my back and easily move on.

Having said that, I seem to be surrounded by a lot of snowflakes who skew negative, look for drama, and simply aren’t resilient. I find these people to be exhausting. Some of these people are Gen X. I guess they didn’t get the message in the 90s. The worst offenders have a bizarre arrogance fueled by an insecurity that compels them to tear others down. Again: they apparently missed the Gen X orientation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading posts on here, and occasionally on Reddit, and it seems like people get anxious and offended more easily and feel justified in making others accommodate their needs in ways that my generation (X) didn’t expect.

Ex’s.
The poster with the waitress teen dd who doesn’t know what to do when boys/men ask for her number. (Not so much that op, but others who claim it’s harassment that the boss needs to fix for her)

(I see lots of this sort of sentiment on Reddit, which I assume trends younger. Everything is harassment, bullying, etc which warrants adult/supervisor intervention)

A law partner colleague who tells me he’s not allowed to mark up a young associate’s work too much, as advised by HR. He says if he marks up their drafts too much, they run to HR.

Thoughts? I want to live in a more careful and kind society, but I think that goes both ways.

For the waitress situation sure a woman needs to learn how to say no. But when women do you know they get murdered right? This is not like an outlier.

I think dismissing a teenage girls inability to say no to multiple men a week is insane. It is the job of her manager to step in and say hey she’s at work no.

I don’t the law associate was told they can’t “mark up” a young associates work. What they were told is you aren’t treating young associate differently than you treat normal associates you need to treat them the same and interpreted that as I can’t mark up the young associates work.

Men don’t like to be corrected and when they are corrected, they’re gonna twist the facts to make the other person look crazy.

Also, Reddit, 90% of people only read Reddit, 9% of people might click on the like button.. only one percent of people actually write on Reddit.

So you are facing your judgment on society it’s based on one percent of people on Reddit.

[Anonymous]

^^ sorry for all the typos

[Anonymous]

Gen X here who saw a lot of men and boys behaving badly in school, in the workplace, in cars driving by. I want better for my DD. Tired of women being told they should put up with men’s nonsense. Would love in creepy dudes got the message that no one welcomes their attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m Gen X and I thought the mantra of my people was, “Whatever.” Nothing bothers me and I let everything roll off my back and easily move on.

Having said that, I seem to be surrounded by a lot of snowflakes who skew negative, look for drama, and simply aren’t resilient. I find these people to be exhausting. Some of these people are Gen X. I guess they didn’t get the message in the 90s. The worst offenders have a bizarre arrogance fueled by an insecurity that compels them to tear others down. Again: they apparently missed the Gen X orientation.

I am also Gen X, and I wish people like you would start to understand how you are part of the problem.

Look, some people are oversensitive, and yes there is this cultural behavior now where some people are just looking for reasons to be offended. That is annoying. But what you are describing is anti-social, disrespectful behavior. "Whatever" and "get over it" is not a productive philosophy in life. It is likely to create conflict, not turn the page on it. It also entirely driven by ego. You think it's "uncool" to have feelings or care about anything, and that you are superior for just not giving a sh!t.

Have some manners. Care about how your actions impact others and make a good faith effort not to be hurtful. If someone takes offense and you really didn't mean to hurt them, just say you are sorry and you didn't realize. Saying your sorry acknowledges that their experience matters and it's not just about you and your intent. Develop communication skills that enable you to talk about feelings. You don't have to get into all this annoying therapy speak that floats around, you don't have to say crap like "hold space" or whatever. Just have some humility and acknowledge other people exist and matter.

I do get driven up the wall with "cancel culture" and this need to create a million new rules for social interaction all the time, but I find the "whatever" ethics of some gen x'ers as bad or worse. It's just rude. There is a middle ground, that's an extreme position that doesn't really help anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m Gen X and I thought the mantra of my people was, “Whatever.” Nothing bothers me and I let everything roll off my back and easily move on.

Having said that, I seem to be surrounded by a lot of snowflakes who skew negative, look for drama, and simply aren’t resilient. I find these people to be exhausting. Some of these people are Gen X. I guess they didn’t get the message in the 90s. The worst offenders have a bizarre arrogance fueled by an insecurity that compels them to tear others down. Again: they apparently missed the Gen X orientation.

I am also Gen X, and I wish people like you would start to understand how you are part of the problem.

Look, some people are oversensitive, and yes there is this cultural behavior now where some people are just looking for reasons to be offended. That is annoying. But what you are describing is anti-social, disrespectful behavior. "Whatever" and "get over it" is not a productive philosophy in life. It is likely to create conflict, not turn the page on it. It also entirely driven by ego. You think it's "uncool" to have feelings or care about anything, and that you are superior for just not giving a sh!t.

Have some manners. Care about how your actions impact others and make a good faith effort not to be hurtful. If someone takes offense and you really didn't mean to hurt them, just say you are sorry and you didn't realize. Saying your sorry acknowledges that their experience matters and it's not just about you and your intent. Develop communication skills that enable you to talk about feelings. You don't have to get into all this annoying therapy speak that floats around, you don't have to say crap like "hold space" or whatever. Just have some humility and acknowledge other people exist and matter.

I do get driven up the wall with "cancel culture" and this need to create a million new rules for social interaction all the time, but I find the "whatever" ethics of some gen x'ers as bad or worse. It's just rude. There is a middle ground, that's an extreme position that doesn't really help anything.

I don’t think you really understand the Whatever generation.

It’s not about being rude or arrogant. Quite the opposite.

We were the generation that embraced “Live and let live.” We embraced diversity. We were cool with the lgbt community.

We weren’t fancy or needy.

We worked hard and played hard.

We piled into tiny apartments or group houses. We didn’t expect handouts or a free ride.

When we were stressed, we partied or blasted music in our cars or spent hours talking with friends at coffee houses or bars. Nobody could afford therapy, but we really didn’t need it. We had friends. We talked. We socialized.

And we didn’t complain at work. We weren’t strivers either. We knew the deal: work hard if you want to pay the bills so you can play hard.

I find my Gen X friends and colleagues to be the most grounded people with the biggest hearts and most compassion. We didn’t have cell phones or social media…we had friends. I think we had a better grasp on group dynamics: it wasn’t about us as individuals; it was always about our group (at work, friends, etc.).

How old are you pp? Maybe you aren’t from the same Gen X as the rest of us.

[Anonymous]

I’m a boomer so what does that make me?

[Anonymous]

The HR example is interesting. It is possible that the HR person advised something like, temper your criticism with praise or just gave general advice on how to do this more diplomatically in the sense that the HR person gave him career advice. He may have interpreted this as someone unfairly using their protective status but it may not have been. He doesn't know what the HR person told the associate. They may have told that person to handle it differently as well.

I mean, you could interpret him as being overly sensitive, hurt, etc., too if the message waa to change what he does and he just doesn't want to.

Or maybe he's right. However, I think there is a lot of bullying in the world and people do nothing about it.

When I was young and working with the public, my male boss would often come up to the table and pretend to check in. That alerted the men that someone was paying attention. It's not hard to do this kind of thing as a manager.

[Anonymous]

Yes, worse are old pp, my mother (72) cries at the drop of a hat and holds grudges for days.