is this socially wierd or is it me being overly sensitive?

[Anonymous]

There are a few ladies in my neighborhood that have kids the same age as DS (rising 3rd). Our kids are friends and go to each others birthday parties, play rec basketball together and see each other at the bus stop. These ladies will make pleasantries with me but will not get into any conversations with me but will to each other and to others (I have observed it multiple occasions)
The other day I took DS and his bestie to our neighborhood pool and sure enough all these moms show up with their kids. DS and his friend are happy to see their kids and all kids are playing in the pool. I decide to be friendly and join the group of 4 moms and they are nice to me but do not seem sincere. It was very awkward that they were talking amongst one another and not even including me when I was contributing to the conversation in a relevant manner. I am a very social person by nature and normally do not have problems joining new groups. I get along with people at work and with other groups just fine.
There is nothing that I have did that I am aware of that offended them. Is it them or is it me?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a classic clique to me. No reflection on you that they won’t let you in.

[Anonymous]

They don’t like you. And that is OK, they sound horrid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a classic clique to me. No reflection on you that they won’t let you in.

+1
They came to socialize only with each other.

Not ideal in a public neighborhood place, but it has nothing to do with you. Hopefully your other neighbors are more inviting

[Anonymous]

Not everyone is going to be your friend. That's just how it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone is going to be your friend. That's just how it works.

OP is not a 7 year old

She knows this

She just wanted some neighborly social interaction and ran into a clique who just wanted to hang by themselves. Now she knows not to bother with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone is going to be your friend. That's just how it works.

OP is not a 7 year old

She knows this

She just wanted some neighborly social interaction and ran into a clique who just wanted to hang by themselves. Now she knows not to bother with them.

Let’s be fair, OP made a thread asking so she doesn’t know this.

OP they are just locked in with each other . It likely has nothing to do with you personally, they just have a tight friendship and prefer it that way. It’s ok to just wave hi and then leave them to themselves (with no rancor or animosity - they’re not doing anything wrong by enjoying each others’ company).

[Anonymous]

OP are you of a different:
-religion than that group of 4 moms?
-ethnicty?
-race?
-age?
-fatter/skinnier than them?
-work/sahm and they are opposite?
-you are/not involved in school's PTSA and they are opposite of your level of involvement?
-your maritial status different than theirs.

So many petty reasons. Middle aged women are sometimes worse than a middle school clique, imho.

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing these ladies see each other daily so it's easy for them to have a deeper friendship and have a natural repertoire amongst each other.

They see you here & there so conversation with you is pleasantries and no more.

It's not uncommon for the kids to be closer than the parents. And in a few years, when the kids don't need as much parent supervision, there's an organic demise of parental friendships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP are you of a different:
-religion than that group of 4 moms?
-ethnicty?
-race?
-age?
-fatter/skinnier than them?
-work/sahm and they are opposite?
-you are/not involved in school's PTSA and they are opposite of your level of involvement?
-your maritial status different than theirs.

So many petty reasons. Middle aged women are sometimes worse than a middle school clique, imho.

This is an immature take. You’re asking OP to assume that it’s about her and then spend time considering exactly what it is about her that is “wrong” when the more emotionally healthy response is “this isn’t about me, they’re just good friends and have been for awhile.” Why on earth would OP’s weight have anything to do with this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP are you of a different:
-religion than that group of 4 moms?
-ethnicty?
-race?
-age?
-fatter/skinnier than them?
-work/sahm and they are opposite?
-you are/not involved in school's PTSA and they are opposite of your level of involvement?
-your maritial status different than theirs.

So many petty reasons. Middle aged women are sometimes worse than a middle school clique, imho.

This is an immature take. You’re asking OP to assume that it’s about her and then spend time considering exactly what it is about her that is “wrong” when the more emotionally healthy response is “this isn’t about me, they’re just good friends and have been for awhile.” Why on earth would OP’s weight have anything to do with this?

+100

I don't think that's PPs intent but that's how it comes off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a classic clique to me. No reflection on you that they won’t let you in.

+1
They came to socialize only with each other.

Not ideal in a public neighborhood place, but it has nothing to do with you. Hopefully your other neighbors are more inviting

+1. I deal with a similar situation in my neighborhood. My daughter is the same age and friends with several of the girls whose mothers are in a tight clique so I do my best to try to be social to keep her included because otherwise she’ll also be left out. There are some moms in that group who go out of their way to make it so awkward to anyone not in the clique. They’ll plan other social events and after parties with the clique right in front of me. It is what it is, but I didn’t expect that women would still be doing this in their 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP are you of a different:
-religion than that group of 4 moms?
-ethnicty?
-race?
-age?
-fatter/skinnier than them?
-work/sahm and they are opposite?
-you are/not involved in school's PTSA and they are opposite of your level of involvement?
-your maritial status different than theirs.

So many petty reasons. Middle aged women are sometimes worse than a middle school clique, imho.

This is an immature take. You’re asking OP to assume that it’s about her and then spend time considering exactly what it is about her that is “wrong” when the more emotionally healthy response is “this isn’t about me, they’re just good friends and have been for awhile.” Why on earth would OP’s weight have anything to do with this?

Stipulate an "immature take" and differences don't make "something wrong with OP" but in my experience differences like these make it hard to fit in with a group that is homogeneous.
As someone who was obese then thin, weight makes an ENORMOUS difference in how I am regarded, received, included.

[Anonymous]

Take down the trump sign

[Anonymous]

In my opinion this is normal. They can be pleasant with you, but they're friends with each other. You have no idea how that started - probably something that has nothing to do with you that was shared between them and is innocuous.

This reflects negatively on no one (unless you are truly off-putting or they are truly leaving you out for a dumb reason). This is just human nature. The less you worry about it the happier you will be, because it will happen anywhere.