Who plans milestone anniversaries?
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Anonymous
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Debating this now in our family. Who plans milestone anniversaries and birthdays for parents? It seems like it becomes the kids responsibility but I can’t figure out why. Is there a certain year? Like you pay and plan your 50th but by your 60th your kids do it? Why not spouse? 25th anniversary is on the couple but then 50th anniversary gets paid for by kids?
Obviously I’m asking because I’m feeling a bit crushed by responsibilities recently and sandwiched between parents and my kids. Seems like older people have just boatloads of time and excess money to plan things, at least comparatively. |
Anonymous
| I do not think there is a set rule. If you can not or do not want to...don't. |
Anonymous
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It depends on the age of the kids and of course, whether they want to. And who pays for it is a separate question.
The 70th and 80th are on the kids because the parents are likely too old to plan anything significant. |
Anonymous
| I planned a party for each of my parents when they turned 80. IMHO, anniversaries were on them., |
Anonymous
| My in-laws planned a blowout party overseas for their 50th and paid for everyone to fly there. Now it's almost their 60th and they are planning to do the same. Up to them completely! |
Anonymous
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No one. It didn't even occur to me to plan someone else's anniversary, since I don't really celebrate my own. I just don't think wedding anniversaries are important. We have low-key birthdays, low-key holidays, we're not big party people.
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Anonymous
| We four adult kids threw our parents a big dinner party in Hawaii (their hometown) for their 50th. We ended up splitting the cost three ways between DH and I, oldest sis and DH, and my parents because the other two were broke but they helped in other ways. It was my idea since my ILs had expected their kids to throw their 50th and my parents deserved to have the milestone celebrated. For the ILs, we had it catered at BIL's house and split it with BIL. Worth it for the memories, imho. |
Anonymous
| My parents weren't in great health by their 50th anniversary, so we planned it. |
Anonymous
| I offered to help my mom with their 50th, but she had a firm idea of what she wanted so she ended up planning it all. It was a great party! |
Anonymous
| We threw a big 50th anniversary for my parents. At their 25th, I was 12, so no. Birthdays my mom has always financed, I’ve planned my dad’s 80th, 75th, and 70th. My ,other would have my head on a platter if I allowed a milestone birthday party for her. Her friends threw a 50th (I was 15) and she was mortified and still talks about how horrifying it was 30 years later |
Anonymous
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In my experience, the parents plan it themselves until they reasonably can’t anymore due to age etc. Unless they don’t plan anything or want anything big, and the kids plan a small “close family only” simple get together.
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Anonymous
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For the “younger” anniversaries (25th etc)- usually they plan themselves because the kids are too young to really plan anything well or pay for it. IME.
For a 50th, it always seems to be the “kids” planning it. |
Anonymous
| Adults are responsible for their own birthday and anniversary celebrations. |
Anonymous
If it’s not your anniversary stay the eff out of it. If you’re planning a birthday for someone who is over the age of 8, make sure they have asked you to do it. |
Anonymous
| I think it’s when the kids are able to do it, financially and otherwise. My parents divorced, so no big anniversaries, but we decided to give my mom a blowout surprise party. We had enough money and only one of us had kids. Good thing we did it early, in her 60s, because she died a few years later. |