SIL battling cancer

[Anonymous]

SIL’s prognosis is poor but DH seems to be handling it pretty well. I think in part because they are not particularly close (they were close as kids but she has had other health issues through the years, didn’t quite launch as an adult and they have not spent a lot of time together). She is young, in her 30s. Im trying to process what it would be like to lose a sibling you aren’t particularly close to. I’m an only child so the idea of having siblings is a bit foreign to me in the first place. Im not sure what the point of my post is, I guess just to try to better understand what it’s like for others in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Is it his only sister? My mom passed away from cancer, and it was quite devastating to her younger brother because she was almost like a mom to him. I think it would be very hard if it us your only sibling. For a lot of people a sib is like a lifelong buddy because you hold a lot of the same memories and experiences. Your sibs have a unique understanding of you because they were there growing up.

In my uncle case he was already close to me but became closer to me because I look and sound just like my mom. You can never replace the person you lost but other relatives may give a comforting presence in different ways.

[Anonymous]

Wow, way to trash on a cancer patient who “didn’t quite launch” and won’t be particularly missed by you or your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SIL’s prognosis is poor but DH seems to be handling it pretty well. I think in part because they are not particularly close (they were close as kids but she has had other health issues through the years, didn’t quite launch as an adult and they have not spent a lot of time together). She is young, in her 30s. Im trying to process what it would be like to lose a sibling you aren’t particularly close to. I’m an only child so the idea of having siblings is a bit foreign to me in the first place. Im not sure what the point of my post is, I guess just to try to better understand what it’s like for others in this situation.

You are just a nasty-ass ghoul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, way to trash on a cancer patient who “didn’t quite launch” and won’t be particularly missed by you or your husband.

Yes, OP is trash. Extremely low class, ill-bred person. If she has any shame she should ask Jeff to delete this thread.

[Anonymous]

There probably was a better way to ask this question.
But it’s a fair question to ask how to processs grief of loss for a family member you are not longer close to. I’ve been wondering that because I think my spouse will be surprised by how it hits him when his estranged mother dies. I’ve seen a lot of people on this forum posting similar when they are estranged for their family of origen. I would encourage your husband to try to rebuild the bonds with his sister now and be there for her — both because she may need him and also because he really may regret not doing that after she is gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There probably was a better way to ask this question.
But it’s a fair question to ask how to processs grief of loss for a family member you are not longer close to. I’ve been wondering that because I think my spouse will be surprised by how it hits him when his estranged mother dies. I’ve seen a lot of people on this forum posting similar when they are estranged for their family of origen. I would encourage your husband to try to rebuild the bonds with his sister now and be there for her — both because she may need him and also because he really may regret not doing that after she is gone.

Nope. OP is trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There probably was a better way to ask this question.
But it’s a fair question to ask how to processs grief of loss for a family member you are not longer close to. I’ve been wondering that because I think my spouse will be surprised by how it hits him when his estranged mother dies. I’ve seen a lot of people on this forum posting similar when they are estranged for their family of origen. I would encourage your husband to try to rebuild the bonds with his sister now and be there for her — both because she may need him and also because he really may regret not doing that after she is gone.sisters.

I agree. He can at least have a nice memory of their time together, which could be a comfort to both.

The grief of a lost or absent relationship often comes up. My stepsisters had a lot of conflict. One of them died young (43)of cancer. It was very hard on the surviving one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, way to trash on a cancer patient who “didn’t quite launch” and won’t be particularly missed by you or your husband.

What’s wrong with the question? I was just explaining why they aren’t close. I’m not trying to insult her, just giving context. Some people go off and lead independent adult lives and others don’t. This also isn’t my sibling and it’s not my place to dictate their relationship. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Loosing a sibling is a tough partly because it’s personal in a way that makes you feel your own vulnerability. Please be kind to her.

[Anonymous]

Weird that OP seems to be looking for support/attention for the poor diagnosis of an estranged family member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, way to trash on a cancer patient who “didn’t quite launch” and won’t be particularly missed by you or your husband.

What’s wrong with the question? I was just explaining why they aren’t close. I’m not trying to insult her, just giving context. Some people go off and lead independent adult lives and others don’t. This also isn’t my sibling and it’s not my place to dictate their relationship. It is what it is.

There's nothing wrong with the question. It's clear what you mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, way to trash on a cancer patient who “didn’t quite launch” and won’t be particularly missed by you or your husband.

No kidding! She’s saying the quiet part out loud. Geezus.

[Anonymous]

The OP actually made me wince. The language is so clinical and distant. More about her own curiosity rather than any empathy for her DH or SIL.

[Anonymous]

I think you’re fine OP I know what you mean. Maybe try to post again in a few weeks without the failure to launch piece to get somewhat real reactions