Can we normalize having a “Which parent should we call first?” on forms?

[Anonymous]

Preface, I’m a dad and I handle most of the interactions with teachers, doctors, and other care providers for my kids. Despite this, they usually call, email, and leave messages for my wife instead of me. My info is always on the form, I filled it out. But she is the one they go to.

The problem is that my wife (whom I love very much) is the hot mess mom. Her phone number really only exists in theory. It basically exists to test how many badge notifications a device can handle.

Recently, I was waiting for a lab result to come back for one of my kids allergies. Turns out they called my wife a week ago and left a message. She missed it. I asked them to make a note to contact me first, so we’ll see how that goes. Poor kid has been on a fun free diet for 3 months and could’ve gotten dairy back a week ago.

Anyone else deal with this? What are your experiences? Ideas?

[Anonymous]

The solution here is to put your phone number for both parents. Moms do this all the time.

[Anonymous]

I am a dad and this has been my experience as well. Even if I only put my own number down during registration it only takes one instance of my wife sending an email or driving to an appointment and then she gets called for everything from that point on. Nobody can comprehend that the only reason my wife called or picked up was because I arranged it and reminded her to do it. It’s just typical gender bias.

[Anonymous]

Damn. I would’ve thought that whoever was listed first on the form would be the primary contact. If I had to call a kid’s parents, that’s how I’d do it.

[Anonymous]

DH is listed first as the contact for DS' school and camps and I'm still called first more than half the time.

[Anonymous]

This is a good idea but the way you talk about your wife is gross.

[Anonymous]

We are a 2 mom family.
I’d like to see Parent 1 and parent 2 listed on forms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are a 2 mom family.
I’d like to see Parent 1 and parent 2 listed on forms.

OP’s suggestion plus this would both be improvements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Damn. I would’ve thought that whoever was listed first on the form would be the primary contact. If I had to call a kid’s parents, that’s how I’d do it.

+1


Same number on the form is a good idea!

[Anonymous]

You put yourself as parent 1. Or primary

[Anonymous]

“The Hot Mess” mom. Yuck.

[Anonymous]

Happens to us, too. DH is always listed as the primary parent because I travel a lot for work. I’d say I still get calls and text reminders about 50% of the time, though.

One thing that helps is that we use a single family email address for all kid-related things. We both have access to the account and both of us list it as our email address on all forms for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Preface, I’m a dad and I handle most of the interactions with teachers, doctors, and other care providers for my kids. Despite this, they usually call, email, and leave messages for my wife instead of me. My info is always on the form, I filled it out. But she is the one they go to.

The problem is that my wife (whom I love very much) is the hot mess mom. Her phone number really only exists in theory. It basically exists to test how many badge notifications a device can handle.

Recently, I was waiting for a lab result to come back for one of my kids allergies. Turns out they called my wife a week ago and left a message. She missed it. I asked them to make a note to contact me first, so we’ll see how that goes. Poor kid has been on a fun free diet for 3 months and could’ve gotten dairy back a week ago.

Anyone else deal with this? What are your experiences? Ideas?

LOL. This is me. Don't call me. I won't see it!
Also does she have 99+ tabs open on her phone? IYKYK, chrome shows at 100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The solution here is to put your phone number for both parents. Moms do this all the time.

+1

[Anonymous]

Just don’t put her contact info on the form. I used to do this with DH since he’s the same. Don’t bother calling him he probably can’t find his phone.