Relative plans to check himself into hospice and …

post reply Forum Index » Eldercare

1 2 ► Go

Go to page...

05/23/2025 04:15

Subject: Relative plans to check himself into hospice and …

quote

Anonymous

… stop taking Lasix. This is in Michigan. Where is the line between allowing the natural death process and suicide? He says he will die in 1-2 weeks. When I asked where he heard that range he did not initially give an answer. I told him his body will do its best to try to survive and he could live much longer. He saw his PCPd she told him the same thing. My MIL worked in hospice and backed this up with several cases where people were told the had months to live and lived much longer.

This relative lost his wife a year and a half ago. He’s moved three times demanding people work on his schedule. In independent living he had difficulty making friends because he didn’t want to have to meet people have way. He wanted intellectual conversation over drinks. Just someone to talk to but they had to be willing to to come to his place. A couple were willing to hand out ans talk but only in public spaces. This ticked him off.

He’s lonely, frustrated, etc. He has no children. He basically has me and my sibling as relatives. He’s exhausted friends and acquaintances. He expects me to pick up the phone when he calls if I can’t take the call, he tells me when I must call (and to avoid his 3 hour siesta). I live out of state, have kids, a husband who was hospitalized and nearly died last year, a kid who has been in crisis and still struggling, a parent who out is state and is undergoing chemo ans has stage 3 kidney disease.

Sometimes I can’t call until the next day. Once it was a couple days ONCE because I had been swamped with DH and kid. If the message was a true emergency, I would call back right away but if I’m at work / dealing with family issues and his issue is the independent (now assisted) living people have the temp in the building too low, I’m not dropping everything to call the facility which they cannot do anything about as I’ve explained 100x before. Yes, I have been to this place unannounced — he is just unreasonable. He doesn’t see why he can’t wear PJs in the common room or wear the same clothes for several days. He is mentally competent and his PCP agrees. He just sees things like re-dressing as a hassle. It feels like he lives to create problems which I think is partially to get attention. I understand that but he will not meet people half way. I got someone to help him dress and undress every day. He stopped that because that meant he had to adhere to there schedule availability. The loss of control is hard, I’m sure.

So now he’s checking himself into hospice program which he’ll do at the assisted living apartment. This situation seems a bit odd because it isn’t like ones where a person taking meds has 6 months to live, and stopping the meds will reduce his life expectancy by a couple months. I’m not one for prolonging death, but this seems more like suicide/depression/loneliness. I’m assuming the doctors know how to navigate this gray area since they could be sued in Michigan for assisted suicide (which is illegal there).

Early morning vent over.