TJ seems to have crushed the soul of my kid

[Anonymous]

Dramatic yes, but man. My kid is just worn out. Between a few bad apple teachers, poor instructions or lesson planning, crazy time expectations make classes that were once loved just not loved at all.

I no longer have a happy, intellectually curious kid. Fwiw kid found a great friend group, loves other aspects of the school. But I'm worried long term this is more brow-beating than building up.

Apparently a friend with straight As confided that they are leaving next year for the same reason.

Anyone btdt?

[Anonymous]

My kids loved their time at TJ. They were so happy to have found their people and a place where they could be themselves. But they are recent grads so the environment may have changed. I strongly suggest your kid transfer out. There is no reason to be in a place that makes them miserable! It’s not a problem to try and decide it’s not the right fit. Best to your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids loved their time at TJ. They were so happy to have found their people and a place where they could be themselves. But they are recent grads so the environment may have changed. I strongly suggest your kid transfer out. There is no reason to be in a place that makes them miserable! It’s not a problem to try and decide it’s not the right fit. Best to your kid.

They loved the teachers? There are a few gems but just as many that either aren't good at their jobs, treat the kids just really poorly and/or just don't care when they see a kid burning out in their class. Maybe my kid got unlucky with teachers this year.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps your child would have had a hard time no matter what, OP. Maybe high school is revealing some executive functioning flaws or latent anxiety and depression, and they're realizing that they're a small fish in a big pond.

And that's fine. They'll have to learn that lesson anyway at some point - in college, or their workplaces, etc. If they learn it now, it's fine. Just make sure you provide plenty of support and encouragement at home.

[Anonymous]

Is it that time of year again when people post these stories in the hopes of scaring off a few and creating more waitlist movement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps your child would have had a hard time no matter what, OP. Maybe high school is revealing some executive functioning flaws or latent anxiety and depression, and they're realizing that they're a small fish in a big pond.

And that's fine. They'll have to learn that lesson anyway at some point - in college, or their workplaces, etc. If they learn it now, it's fine. Just make sure you provide plenty of support and encouragement at home.

Certainly true, but the straw for me was a teacher that complained about taking 1 bathroom break during a 1.5 hour class.

And/or the other that probably fills the Vice Principals day with kids in "trouble" for things that were clearly accidents or could have been resolved easily.

Or the other that has severe IT issues all year in the class and instead of asking IT for help just told kids to eat the lower grades for not being able to finish due to not being able to access tech.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it that time of year again when people post these stories in the hopes of scaring off a few and creating more waitlist movement?

Looking for actual advice. I don't care about the wait list besides the fact that people have already accepted/ declined at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it that time of year again when people post these stories in the hopes of scaring off a few and creating more waitlist movement?

It does seem like that. I don't know anyone who dislikes it or is doing poorly there so these stories are not the norm, but they do seem to be working harder than most other high schoolers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it that time of year again when people post these stories in the hopes of scaring off a few and creating more waitlist movement?

It does seem like that. I don't know anyone who dislikes it or is doing poorly there so these stories are not the norm, but they do seem to be working harder than most other high schoolers.

They aren't normally going to talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it that time of year again when people post these stories in the hopes of scaring off a few and creating more waitlist movement?

It does seem like that. I don't know anyone who dislikes it or is doing poorly there so these stories are not the norm, but they do seem to be working harder than most other high schoolers.

Well I know my kid isn't alone. Kid saw another kid with cuts on their arm, told me, I called multiple people at the school and was told, literally, by a counselor, that self harm is no big deal. "It's not like it's a s**cide attempt. For real? I was totally speechless with that interaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps your child would have had a hard time no matter what, OP. Maybe high school is revealing some executive functioning flaws or latent anxiety and depression, and they're realizing that they're a small fish in a big pond.

And that's fine. They'll have to learn that lesson anyway at some point - in college, or their workplaces, etc. If they learn it now, it's fine. Just make sure you provide plenty of support and encouragement at home.

Certainly true, but the straw for me was a teacher that complained about taking 1 bathroom break during a 1.5 hour class.

And/or the other that probably fills the Vice Principals day with kids in "trouble" for things that were clearly accidents or could have been resolved easily.

Or the other that has severe IT issues all year in the class and instead of asking IT for help just told kids to eat the lower grades for not being able to finish due to not being able to access tech.

Parents should talk to the principal about these issues.

[Anonymous]

School only a couple weeks left, I think it is common kids just burnout and everybody just exhausted (including teachers and parents). Hope after the break your kid will start fresh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it that time of year again when people post these stories in the hopes of scaring off a few and creating more waitlist movement?

It does seem like that. I don't know anyone who dislikes it or is doing poorly there so these stories are not the norm, but they do seem to be working harder than most other high schoolers.

Well I know my kid isn't alone. Kid saw another kid with cuts on their arm, told me, I called multiple people at the school and was told, literally, by a counselor, that self harm is no big deal. "It's not like it's a s**cide attempt. For real? I was totally speechless with that interaction.

I was with you until this.

The counselors pretty much ONLY care about this.
Your kid's is struggling and getting Cs for the first time in their life, no problem. Your kid's has no idea how to apply for college, no problem. Your kid doesn't know what classes they should take, no problem. Your kid is cutting themselves, they go pretty nuclear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dramatic yes, but man. My kid is just worn out. Between a few bad apple teachers, poor instructions or lesson planning, crazy time expectations make classes that were once loved just not loved at all.

I no longer have a happy, intellectually curious kid. Fwiw kid found a great friend group, loves other aspects of the school. But I'm worried long term this is more brow-beating than building up.

Apparently a friend with straight As confided that they are leaving next year for the same reason.

Anyone btdt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it that time of year again when people post these stories in the hopes of scaring off a few and creating more waitlist movement?

It does seem like that. I don't know anyone who dislikes it or is doing poorly there so these stories are not the norm, but they do seem to be working harder than most other high schoolers.

Well I know my kid isn't alone. Kid saw another kid with cuts on their arm, told me, I called multiple people at the school and was told, literally, by a counselor, that self harm is no big deal. "It's not like it's a s**cide attempt. For real? I was totally speechless with that interaction.

This is not consistent with our experience. We were impressed with the care the social worker and psychologist gave to the kids when an issue was shared. But staffing may have changed.