Hovering Teen Boy Moms in Denial

[Anonymous]

How to tell a teen boy mom her kid is not who she think he is.

She posted on his birthday a couple of months ago he was the “kindest” boy among other things. I couldn’t believe it. I don’t expect a bad post from a mother of course but “kindest” led me to believe she is really clueless. Her kid cheats at school, cheated and on his girlfriend and bullied her with a long time female friend from elementary school, bullies other boys (he’s at an all boys school and it happens but not excusable, esp when it’s a kid on the spectrum or socially awkward type). Other parents know.

Admittedly, the mother is a bit in denial becuse or her own difficult upbringing. He is 16 but she is still extremely controlling (secretly looks through his texts, calls parents before he goes to a house, obsesses over his basketball, etc ) and thinks the kid is perfect as a result of her discipline. Does one say something? I think she’d be embarrassed knowing the truth and would want to do something about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think she’d be embarrassed knowing the truth and would want to do something about it.

Serious question: are you new here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How to tell a teen boy mom her kid is not who she think he is.

She posted on his birthday a couple of months ago he was the “kindest” boy among other things. I couldn’t believe it. I don’t expect a bad post from a mother of course but “kindest” led me to believe she is really clueless. Her kid cheats at school, cheated and on his girlfriend and bullied her with a long time female friend from elementary school, bullies other boys (he’s at an all boys school and it happens but not excusable, esp when it’s a kid on the spectrum or socially awkward type). Other parents know.

Admittedly, the mother is a bit in denial becuse or her own difficult upbringing. He is 16 but she is still extremely controlling (secretly looks through his texts, calls parents before he goes to a house, obsesses over his basketball, etc ) and thinks the kid is perfect as a result of her discipline. Does one say something? I think she’d be embarrassed knowing the truth and would want to do something about it.

You can roll your eyes when you see her posts but otherwise you're already way too invested in passing judgment on other kids. May not be a good look for her, but it's a really bad look for you.

[Anonymous]

social media is an illusion. Of course she says her son is the kindest, most wonderful boy who’s ever walked the Earth.

Heck, going step further don’t you hear what Moms say about the sons and daughters who have committed atrocities when they’re interviewed on TV? Their angels would never do anything bad. They’ve never heard of fly. They shot up a school or killed five people at a gas station but thier kids are kind.

[Anonymous]

She means he's kind TO HER. Let her have her fantasy. Her knowing how horrible her kid is, won't get him to change anyway.

[Anonymous]

These moms know. They’re not in denial.
But they can’t throw their kid under the bus. They’re hoping they’d grow out of it by now, and can’t wait for the day.

In the meantime, it’s nice to call them kind if only to encourage them and set expectations.

-Mom of daughters, but I interact with moms of their friends. They know.

[Anonymous]

You didn't know social media was where people went to pretend their lives were perfect?

Maybe she knows, maybe she doesn't. But I can't see how you would tell her that her son has mistreated his girlfriend, cheats and is a bully, unless you witnessed something directly, in which case, yes, you can factually report the incident. You cannot report hearsay.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the mom is insecure and wants people on social media to confirm the kindness, because that's what she's worried about in her heart. What can you do? Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Let her be "proud of the man he is becoming"

/s

Honestly though, his journey from selfish boy to independent man is a journey. It's not your history to write, or actions to police.

[Anonymous]

I have a son and daughter.

Can you not use the plural form when addressing social issues? Not all mothers (why not fathers?) of teen boys behave that way. Just like not all teen girls are mean girls.

[Anonymous]

She’s just prepping his college profile.

[Anonymous]

Seen too many gushing posts on Valentine's Days gone by where women show off their Valentine presents and praise their boyfriends/husbands to the sky only to find out that the couple split 4 months later for me to take social media posts seriously.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he behaves in front of her and she truly doesn't know. Where's dad?

[Anonymous]

Ask yourself why you care. It’s not going to be a flattering reason.

Unfollow the woman for your own mental health. No you don’t tell her anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How to tell a teen boy mom her kid is not who she think he is.

She posted on his birthday a couple of months ago he was the “kindest” boy among other things. I couldn’t believe it. I don’t expect a bad post from a mother of course but “kindest” led me to believe she is really clueless. Her kid cheats at school, cheated and on his girlfriend and bullied her with a long time female friend from elementary school, bullies other boys (he’s at an all boys school and it happens but not excusable, esp when it’s a kid on the spectrum or socially awkward type). Other parents know.

Admittedly, the mother is a bit in denial becuse or her own difficult upbringing. He is 16 but she is still extremely controlling (secretly looks through his texts, calls parents before he goes to a house, obsesses over his basketball, etc ) and thinks the kid is perfect as a result of her discipline. Does one say something? I think she’d be embarrassed knowing the truth and would want to do something about it.

OP, I can’t believe you are the parent of a 16-ish year old kid as your post seems to suggest. How can you have been around other parents and not know that there is absolutely no reason for the mom to believe you?

Based on how you’ve posted you come across as a whiny, petty, and mean-spirited, not to mention completely psycho.

Why in the world do you think it’s your job to tell a parent who their son is?

If her kid is bullying address it with the appropriate school authorities or if it’s your kid bring that specific issue up with her.

As for him cheating in school and on his girlfriend it sounds like you are repeating gossip because you have no first hand knowledge of that. If you do have evidence of the former you should report it to the school. The latter is none of your business.

If you were to ask me this IRL I’d take it as a signal to stay as far away from your crazy as possible.