When do looks and appearance play a part in popularity?
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Anonymous
| I was just wondering when you noticed looks and appearance playing a part in popularity? |
Anonymous
| From elementary school, OP. Kids have eyes and know the social order. |
Anonymous
| It begins in preschool. |
Anonymous
| I havent really seen this at all in our ES. Popular kids tend to be not conventionally cute |
Anonymous
Hmm. You may need to rethink your definition of conventional. |
Anonymous
Hate to agree but yes. I noticed that it didn’t originate with the kids, but rather kids observing and listening to what adults said. And then it took off and the kids carried it the rest of the way. |
Anonymous
It's sad that you're thinking about "popular kids" in elementary school. |
Anonymous
Constantly and always. Even pre-K kids realize this. Better looking people are more trusted, more likely to be hired or promoted, more approachable, etc. etc. Common human psychology. |
Anonymous
| IMO it’s late elementary into early middle school that kids start placing a higher importance on appearance and “coolness.” Bossy behavior that helped younger kids curate their social circles becomes a negative. |
Anonymous
|
From preschool on. Especially for girls.
Less for boys at all ages but it is always there. For boys, popularity is based a lot more on sports/athleticism (and starting around middle school age- the ones that hit puberty earlier, larger size etc are usually more popular). There will always be popular kids who don’t find that mold though. Especially the boys. |
Anonymous
| Definitely from very early on. I've observed this each time with my 4 kids. Kids want to be around good looking kids (not talking about my own but watching the social dynamics). |
Anonymous
|
I think it depends on what the goal is. I agree with posters above that for some it starts in preschool.
My DD is in 7th and there is a popular girl group, make up, giggling about boys, phone texting constantly ( outside of school) etc. DD is not part of that group but doesn’t want to be. She is popular and well liked by most of the kids though, she has friends from that group she sits next to in some classes. Most of the friends she hangs with are sporty like her. So teach your kid there is more to actually bring popular than being in the popular group. |
Anonymous
And adults react differently to kids based on their looks, and subconsciously change their interactions with them. My DD had some very conventionally attractive children in her preschool class at a pk3-8th grade class and their popularity in HS had a linear relationship with how the teacher greeted them every morning in the hallway in 3s preschool. It is fascinating and awful all at once. It makes a difference in the early grades even if I wish it didn’t. That early attention can create confidence and generate social approval that in turn creates popularity. It’s a self-perpetuating cycle. |
Anonymous
| I think it’s less about pure looks and more about looking at least aversge with a pleasant expression and having extroverted personality or being good at sports. |
Anonymous
Adults too. Attractive people are more likely to get hired, more likely to get out of speeding tickets, get better customer service, people are social and approach them at gatherings, etc. It is human nature. But you do need some substance and a good personality to carry away the advantage your appearance gives you. Otherwise, the advantage is fleeting |