Time with SO (but also am I overreacting?)

[Anonymous]

This morning when my boyfriend and I woke up, he wanted to have sex (I know that is TMI but it's important to my thought process here) and go to Eastern Market for lunch. As soon as we were done he checked his phone and his boss (who he is friends with, in addition to working together) had texted to see if he wanted to go to a bar and watch a game.

Already I am kind of annoyed because I feel like you just made plans with me but you got a better offer so as soon as I had sex with you, you bailed. He's like, we would just have lunch together and spend the day doing stuff independently anyway, what's the big deal? So, I was kind of annoyed but he assured me we would hang out tonight. I wound up getting stuff done around my apt. and talking to a friend on the phone, which admittedly is what I would've done after lunch anyway.

I don't hear from him all afternoon so I text at 6:30ish to see if we're at least going to have dinner together. I hear back over an hour later and he just says "Sorry, reading to Tom's kids." Wtf? I wound up just making dinner myself.

After some, I thought very rude texts from him, I said I would prefer to talk on the phone when he got home. He truly does not comprehend my thought process, which is a) you made plans with me this morning and canceled once you got sex and b) then made conciliatory plans with me that you clearly had no intention of keeping and c) due to both of us having intense jobs, we do not see each other during the week. I'm really annoyed he made plans with me and then I guess was playing babysitter for his boss, who he'll see all day tomorrow and every day this week and meanwhile I won't see him until Friday night.

He is of the opinion that "sometimes it's nice to spend time with guy friends" which I would normally be fine with except for the fact he canceled plans. If day drinking with his boss was the plan all along, I would be fine with it. I do things with friends on weekends too. It's not that he did something with a friend, it's that he canceled, made new plans, and then couldn't follow through on those either.

Am I massively overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Yeah … I would not stay with this person.

[Anonymous]

I don't care that Ovie won. So many men do. Just let it go.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why he needed to go back to the boss's house to, what, help with the bedtime routine? That's like the perfect time to duck out "Sorry, I promised Jenny we'd get dinner together tonight, it was fun hanging out outside of the office!"

"Sometimes it's just fun to hang out with guys" and then is reading bedtime stories to children lol.

[Anonymous]

I could see if he spends all weekend every weekend with you that it'd be fine to go do something with his guy friends. And it wouldn't really bother me that we had sex first. HOWEVER the:

Reading to the kids and bailing on dinner (which TBH I don't believe)
Ignoring your texts
The rude texts
What it sounds like is zero regard for your feelings in all this

At best, guy sounds like a jerk. At worst guy sounds like a jerk and a cheater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why he needed to go back to the boss's house to, what, help with the bedtime routine? That's like the perfect time to duck out "Sorry, I promised Jenny we'd get dinner together tonight, it was fun hanging out outside of the office!"

"Sometimes it's just fun to hang out with guys" and then is reading bedtime stories to children lol.

I would bet there were no bedtime stories being read to kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could see if he spends all weekend every weekend with you that it'd be fine to go do something with his guy friends. And it wouldn't really bother me that we had sex first. HOWEVER the:

Reading to the kids and bailing on dinner (which TBH I don't believe)
Ignoring your texts
The rude texts
What it sounds like is zero regard for your feelings in all this

At best, guy sounds like a jerk. At worst guy sounds like a jerk and a cheater.

OP here and I am more mad about the sex thing because it was like, literally as soon as we were done he was like "Oh, my boss texted and wants to see if I wanted to go drink and watch the game!" So, great, you got the one part of the plans that your boss couldn't provide and then as soon as you got a better offer for company, you took that. Not even a "Hey, do you mind if I go? I know we just made plans but it would be good to see him out of the office."

To be clear, I do not think there was any cheating. Didn't even cross my mind. I think he actually did read to the kids and that's what pisses me off. Like, oh, she won't mind, it's 8:00 and I promised we'd hang out tonight, but what's a little story to my boss's kids.

[Anonymous]

How old is everyone here?

[Anonymous]

I would not like this. I think it makes sense that you’re so annoyed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is everyone here?

OP here and I am 32 and my bf is 37.

[Anonymous]

You don’t want someone treating you like an option. I get it. And it doesn’t really get better - this is when he should be trying to impress you.

[Anonymous]

He ditched you for better plans following that am sex.. and then stood you up / cancelling the plans you two had for later.

Red Flag.

Move on.

[Anonymous]

I'm really confused about the reading to the boss's kids thing because how did he end up at that boss's house if they were meant to meet up at a bar? Why didn't he text and say he was heading over there for one more drink or whatever?

I don't know if he's cheating, or clueless, or what but this is not someone who is going to make you happy in the long run because he has no theory of mind, nor respect for your time.

[Anonymous]

Is this the first time he has done something like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is everyone here?

OP here and I am 32 and my bf is 37.

Do you want to get married and have kids?