Turning down merit for full pay
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| DD is fortunate to have good options to consider and feels very grateful but conflicted. She was accepted to six schools, five of which offered generous merit and/or talent scholarships. The sixth school offered nothing but acceptance, which was a reach. She’s feeling guilty about wanting the more prestigious school she loves when the other schools seem to love her more. We have the money to pay for the sixth school (OOS public), but it will hurt. Thoughts? Advice? |
Anonymous
| Can you name the school? |
Anonymous
| W&M |
Anonymous
| W&M is currently a top runner for my DC (not a senior yet, could change) and I love the school, but I’m not sure I’d pay OOS full tuition with better offers on hand. What are the other schools? |
Anonymous
| We are a full pay OOS W&M family, and my child has had an outstanding experience. But if it will be financially stressful, other options may make more sense. |
Anonymous
| Ooh, good question. DC is in a similar situation. We’re trying not to make it all about the $$ but a difference of $50K per year is hard to totally discount. |
Anonymous
| Follow the money. |
Anonymous
+1 It would be helpful to know. Without this information, I will say that the merit offers sound intriguing, especially if it would make it more comfortable for you. |
Anonymous
| Can you comfortably afford it? |
Anonymous
|
Have an honest conversation with her. Talk about things like "feel" at the school, especially as it relates to things she might want/need/experience in the environment of each school.
For example, if she took her top choice with generous merit, could you (more easily) afford family trips? Could she vacation with friends for Spring Break, in the summer, etc? Would she have to work (or do work study) to pay for clothing, social things and/or greek life, etc? Do you think she'll encounter hard(er) choices if you're paying full boat vs. having the ability to not have to think about finances if you take the merit aid? Would she want to keep/have a car on campus? What about travel to/from this school - does it mean she'll be home less than she would at another if she is OOS and those long weekends she will stay on campus due to the cost to travel home? Will you be able to visit for parents weekend and/or as much as you'd like? I think you can frame this in teen (and not heavy adult) terms and just be real with her about what it means. Maybe these aren't considerations for your family, but I think these things should be considered. Also, if she's at all going into something she might attend grad school for, I'd take the school(s) offering merit any day. And remember, prestige means nothing when it relates to experience. If you're at a more "prestigious" school but have a terrible experience over four years, what it is really worth? |
Anonymous
| We are also weighing a full pay school with an amazing program against another strong, but less strong school for half the price. |
Anonymous
|
Similar dilemma here, OP.
DC was accepted to 5 schools, 2 of which are top contenders. Both have a list price of $50k/year. One was a safety (medium sized private school with acceptance rate over 70%) and offered him merit of more than half the tuition. Other was a real reach (<10% acceptance rate), accepted him but no merit money. He loves the reach, not because of the "prestige" exactly but because of some specific programs and facilities (which are related to why it's "prestigious", of course). But it's hard to ignore getting the same list price for more than half off. He feels very wanted and supported by the safety school, and worries that the reach just doesn't care as much about him. We have money in a 529 to cover $40K per year, so it would only be $10K per year out of pocket for the reach school, which is totally doable. But what might push him over the edge is that his intended major is one for which grad school is very common, and the merit school would leave him with a nice nest egg in the 529 for grad school if he decides to pursue it. But if he doesn't, the discount won't really mean much as the money will just be left sitting in the 529. No answers here yet, but you're not alone in struggling with the decision. |
Anonymous
Is that OOS school still within the budget you gave your DD? Does she have to contribute money towards the cost? How likely are they to take advantage of the benefits of the reach school? We have one kid that will hustle to get a job and can balance classes and having a part-time campus job and activities. They were able to get the OOS school within our budget by contributing their summer earnings toward tuition plus taking some loans (between both contributing 10-12K). Our other kid struggles with time management and doesn’t have that same hustle so we knew as much as they would promise to do all the needed things to attend the expensive OOS public we risked paying at least 10K or more per year than our budgeted amount. And equally important they would do better with the school that offered merit and made it easier for them to take advantage of opportunities of being a bigger fish in a smaller pond. For my kid at the largeOOS - it feels like every opportunity is just as competitive as getting in but they love it and are willing to keep trying. |
Anonymous
|
Seems like there was a parent on here recently who was not happy that they sent their DD to her expensive reach, then was upset that she couldn't afford to do the other things the other kids were doing. Spring Break I think might have been the tipping point.
If she can't, that could push her out of a friend group. |
Anonymous
The schools that gave merit do not love her more, they need her more and she is that much above the average student at those schools thst they want her for their own gain. She may not fit in academically if she is too far above typical. Let her go to the prestigious school: you can afford it and you admit it is more prestigious, which helps with outcomes. Mine turned down full cost of attendance and summer $ for an ivy on the top10 overall: the opportunities have been almost without bounds and the chance to study with intellectually elite peers who on average are on the same level as themselves has been fantastic. Even with the NIH triggered funding cuts there are still many paid options for their own students this summer. Prestige matters. Those that say it doesn’t do not have students at different tiers to compare. |