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[quote=Anonymous]Have an honest conversation with her. Talk about things like "feel" at the school, especially as it relates to things she might want/need/experience in the environment of each school.

For example, if she took her top choice with generous merit, could you (more easily) afford family trips? Could she vacation with friends for Spring Break, in the summer, etc? Would she have to work (or do work study) to pay for clothing, social things and/or greek life, etc? Do you think she'll encounter hard(er) choices if you're paying full boat vs. having the ability to not have to think about finances if you take the merit aid? Would she want to keep/have a car on campus? What about travel to/from this school - does it mean she'll be home less than she would at another if she is OOS and those long weekends she will stay on campus due to the cost to travel home? Will you be able to visit for parents weekend and/or as much as you'd like?

I think you can frame this in teen (and not heavy adult) terms and just be real with her about what it means. Maybe these aren't considerations for your family, but I think these things should be considered. Also, if she's at all going into something she might attend grad school for, I'd take the school(s) offering merit any day.

And remember, prestige means nothing when it relates to experience. If you're at a more "prestigious" school but have a terrible experience over four years, what it is really worth? [/quote]

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