Husband making me feel self-conscious

[Anonymous]

I’m really struggling with my new body after having my first and my husband has made me feel very self-conscious. I don’t think his comments are coming for a hateful place but it still hurts me. He has made several comments about my breasts changing and my downstairs. He had commented on how he’s surprised I don’t fit into my old clothes yet. He’s a clueless man but his comments hurt me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling with my new body after having my first and my husband has made me feel very self-conscious. I don’t think his comments are coming for a hateful place but it still hurts me. He has made several comments about my breasts changing and my downstairs. He had commented on how he’s surprised I don’t fit into my old clothes yet. He’s a clueless man but his comments hurt me.

Your downstairs? You need to finish your basement?

Your language suggests your husband may not be "making" you feel this way, but exacerbating the way you already feel uncomfortable and self-conscious about your body.

Control the thing you can control: see a counselor or coach for some positivity and self-acceptance work. Then it won't matter as much what a man you describe as "clueless" thinks or says about the body that belongs to you, not him.

Curious as to why you married someone "clueless" about women, but I hope it works out for you.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he’s slightly turned off by your post pregnant body.
May need to have convo with him on that ..Not cool.

[Anonymous]

[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling with my new body after having my first and my husband has made me feel very self-conscious. I don’t think his comments are coming for a hateful place but it still hurts me. He has made several comments about my breasts changing and my downstairs. He had commented on how he’s surprised I don’t fit into my old clothes yet. He’s a clueless man but his comments hurt me.

Your downstairs? You need to finish your basement?

Your language suggests your husband may not be "making" you feel this way, but exacerbating the way you already feel uncomfortable and self-conscious about your body.

Control the thing you can control: see a counselor or coach for some positivity and self-acceptance work. Then it won't matter as much what a man you describe as "clueless" thinks or says about the body that belongs to you, not him.

Curious as to why you married someone "clueless" about women, but I hope it works out for you.

This is non-explicit so I’m cautious of terms I use. He has talked about how tight I will be once we resume sex. If it will be vastly different.

[Anonymous]

You need to watch the first episode of Life in Pieces. Couple after first child and the first look at her "downstairs."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling with my new body after having my first and my husband has made me feel very self-conscious. I don’t think his comments are coming for a hateful place but it still hurts me. He has made several comments about my breasts changing and my downstairs. He had commented on how he’s surprised I don’t fit into my old clothes yet. He’s a clueless man but his comments hurt me.

Your downstairs? You need to finish your basement?

Your language suggests your husband may not be "making" you feel this way, but exacerbating the way you already feel uncomfortable and self-conscious about your body.

Control the thing you can control: see a counselor or coach for some positivity and self-acceptance work. Then it won't matter as much what a man you describe as "clueless" thinks or says about the body that belongs to you, not him.

Curious as to why you married someone "clueless" about women, but I hope it works out for you.

This is non-explicit so I’m cautious of terms I use. He has talked about how tight I will be once we resume sex. If it will be vastly different.

Yeah, this is uncool. You just had a baby. That shouldn't be his worry, at least not one that he shares. He is being immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to watch the first episode of Life in Pieces. Couple after first child and the first look at her "downstairs."

I don’t know what that is. We don’t watch much tv.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling with my new body after having my first and my husband has made me feel very self-conscious. I don’t think his comments are coming for a hateful place but it still hurts me. He has made several comments about my breasts changing and my downstairs. He had commented on how he’s surprised I don’t fit into my old clothes yet. He’s a clueless man but his comments hurt me.

Your downstairs? You need to finish your basement?

Your language suggests your husband may not be "making" you feel this way, but exacerbating the way you already feel uncomfortable and self-conscious about your body.

Control the thing you can control: see a counselor or coach for some positivity and self-acceptance work. Then it won't matter as much what a man you describe as "clueless" thinks or says about the body that belongs to you, not him.

Curious as to why you married someone "clueless" about women, but I hope it works out for you.

This is non-explicit so I’m cautious of terms I use. He has talked about how tight I will be once we resume sex. If it will be vastly different.

Yeah, this is uncool. You just had a baby. That shouldn't be his worry, at least not one that he shares. He is being immature.

He has made “ thinking out loud” comments like if my breasts will be saggy after nursing. He’s a bit sad my very little pink areolas got darker. He doesn’t want my cute nipples to change. He loves how perky and full they are and heard that nursing longterm can make them look like sandbags.

He has soda vulgar stuff about if I will be tonight. Wondering if I will feel different.

One time while pregnant I got some stretch marks on my abdomen and he said I looked like a zebra and he didn’t think they would be that big.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling with my new body after having my first and my husband has made me feel very self-conscious. I don’t think his comments are coming for a hateful place but it still hurts me. He has made several comments about my breasts changing and my downstairs. He had commented on how he’s surprised I don’t fit into my old clothes yet. He’s a clueless man but his comments hurt me.

Your downstairs? You need to finish your basement?

Your language suggests your husband may not be "making" you feel this way, but exacerbating the way you already feel uncomfortable and self-conscious about your body.

Control the thing you can control: see a counselor or coach for some positivity and self-acceptance work. Then it won't matter as much what a man you describe as "clueless" thinks or says about the body that belongs to you, not him.

Curious as to why you married someone "clueless" about women, but I hope it works out for you.

This is non-explicit so I’m cautious of terms I use. He has talked about how tight I will be once we resume sex. If it will be vastly different.

Yeah, this is uncool. You just had a baby. That shouldn't be his worry, at least not one that he shares. He is being immature.

He has made “ thinking out loud” comments like if my breasts will be saggy after nursing. He’s a bit sad my very little pink areolas got darker. He doesn’t want my cute nipples to change. He loves how perky and full they are and heard that nursing longterm can make them look like sandbags.

He has soda vulgar stuff about if I will be tonight. Wondering if I will feel different.

One time while pregnant I got some stretch marks on my abdomen and he said I looked like a zebra and he didn’t think they would be that big.

Wow. He sounds like a prize ass.

Was he like this before you married? Was it cute to you then?

[Anonymous]

This is not okay. This sounds borderline abusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to watch the first episode of Life in Pieces. Couple after first child and the first look at her "downstairs."

I don’t know what that is. We don’t watch much tv.

I'm the PP. Just ignore. It is an idiotic TV comedy and they deal with the difficulty of first birth with stupid humor. I was amused, but I'm well past newborns.

Your DH sounds immature and selfish. Sorry you're dealing with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m really struggling with my new body after having my first and my husband has made me feel very self-conscious. I don’t think his comments are coming for a hateful place but it still hurts me. He has made several comments about my breasts changing and my downstairs. He had commented on how he’s surprised I don’t fit into my old clothes yet. He’s a clueless man but his comments hurt me.

Talk to him. Connect with each other about new changes, your vulnerabilities and need to support each other through this phase. Congratulations on your new baby.

[Anonymous]

He’s an AH.

[Anonymous]

I really hope OP is a troll. OP if this is real I am so sorry. Your husband is an enormous jackass, immature and a real prick. If my husband said such insensitive things to me during the very vulnerable time of new motherhood he would not be seeing my naked body again for a very long time and I would be pretty clear what I thought of him. What a jerk and definitely indicative of problems to come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really hope OP is a troll. OP if this is real I am so sorry. Your husband is an enormous jackass, immature and a real prick. If my husband said such insensitive things to me during the very vulnerable time of new motherhood he would not be seeing my naked body again for a very long time and I would be pretty clear what I thought of him. What a jerk and definitely indicative of problems to come.

I wish but I’m not a troll. I do love my husband but I wish he had more of filter and kept some stuff to himself.