The Blake Lively/Justin Baldoni thread

[Anonymous]

I don't know how else to handle this. Sorry.

The thread (https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1335/1253236.page) is being overrun by trolls posting misogynist, sexist comments that amount to "she asked for it." I had previously been reporting specific posts that crossed a line but it's too much now and a lot of them you have to read in context to understand how offensive they are.

Here is an example of a back and forth exchange so you can get a sense of what is happening. I've tried to identify poster to the best of my ability:

Poster 1: If this was real life harassment I would be more sympathetic. This was perceived harassment within a film, these were actors. Lively was acting a part, Baldino was acting a part. This is SH within a fantasy.

Poster 2 (this is me): This does not make sense. A film set is a real place. Most of the alleged harassment happened outside of scenes they were filming together. You sound like you have no idea what you are talking about.
Lively is alleging "real life harassment."

Poster 3: +1000. What is your answer for them talking to her about their p*rn consumption habits and the guy barging into her trailer demanding to talk to her when she was topless?
She asked for it? That's what acting is?

Poster 1 or new poster: Her door locked, no?

Poster 2 (me again): Heath walked in on her in the makeup trailer having body makeup removed. It wasn't even her trailer and she was topless because the makeup people were working on her. She asked him to leave and he wouldn't, so she asked him to turn around and then caught him looking at her bare breasts.

Poster 1 or new poster: Ok so what. This is like a porn star complaining that a male actor saw her naked.

Poster 2 (me again): It is not like that at all. It's like an actress in a makeup trailer having body makeup removed asked for privacy from the film's producer and he refused to give it to her.
This wasn't a porno.

Poster 1 or new poster: She agreed to have body paint, so was she topless in the movie? She agreed to this.[/I]

So it's either one or more posters who are just responding to every single post with some variation on "she asked for it." Comparing this movie (which is not a pornography and doesn't even feature and full nudity in the film) to a porno. Blaming her for failing to lock her door. Ignoring facts that posters are sharing that contradict this narrative, not even acknowledging or engaging with them, to continue to push this narrative of "she asked for it."

I don't know what else to do at this point. I know I should leave the thread altogether for my own sanity but also others should not have to see this kind of blatant trolling, it's deeply offensive and hurtful to survivors of sexual violence regardless of whether they happen to agree with Blake Lively's pending sexual harassment lawsuit.

[Anonymous]

Sorry I meant to italicize all the posts from the thread and only italicized the first. I think you get the gist though.

[jsteele]

It is pretty clear that anything I do with regard to that thread is going to upset someone. This is the fourth thread (I think) in Website Feedback about Blake Lively, someone of whom I had never even heard of before the first thread. I have no interest in the topic of the thread and even less interest in refereeing disagreements with regard to it. So I am just going to leave it alone for now. I suggest that you and anyone else who doesn't like how the thread is going ignore it. If the other posters are trolls (of course, they think you are the troll), they will lose interest when they can no longer provoke anyone,.

[Anonymous]

Ok, I'll stay out of the thread.

However.

I am disappointed in this response because I think if you took the time to read the thread and see what was happening, you would see that this is a bunch of internet trolls pushing a very specific, misogynist agenda. I know I am not the only poster who feels this way, as I've seen a number of posts to this effect in the thread.

I am not even a fan of Blake Lively. I have been following this case and the thread because I care about the issues of sexual harassment and sexual assault. This is frustrating because I think by leaving the thread alone, I think it perpetuates attitudes about sexual violence that are harmful and allows lies to spread about not only this case (where Lively's actual allegations are constantly misrepresented) but also about what it means to be sexually harassed, what rights people (of any gender) have in a workplace, how people are treated when they come forward with allegations of harassment or assault, etc.

Most survivors of sexual violence are imperfect victims. They face these same attitudes every day and most of them don't have the resources or support than an actress like Lively has. Many survivors can't even gain the support of their family and friends because of the kinds of attitudes on display in that thread. It is heartbreaking to me.

[jsteele]

It's a 90 page thread. I am not going to take the time to read it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'll stay out of the thread.

However.

I am disappointed in this response because I think if you took the time to read the thread and see what was happening, you would see that this is a bunch of internet trolls pushing a very specific, misogynist agenda. I know I am not the only poster who feels this way, as I've seen a number of posts to this effect in the thread.

I am not even a fan of Blake Lively. I have been following this case and the thread because I care about the issues of sexual harassment and sexual assault. This is frustrating because I think by leaving the thread alone, I think it perpetuates attitudes about sexual violence that are harmful and allows lies to spread about not only this case (where Lively's actual allegations are constantly misrepresented) but also about what it means to be sexually harassed, what rights people (of any gender) have in a workplace, how people are treated when they come forward with allegations of harassment or assault, etc.

Most survivors of sexual violence are imperfect victims. They face these same attitudes every day and most of them don't have the resources or support than an actress like Lively has. Many survivors can't even gain the support of their family and friends because of the kinds of attitudes on display in that thread. It is heartbreaking to me.

+1 It's like we've learned absolutely nothing from the Depp/Heard case. Given everything we're dealing with lately that's just blatantly anti-woman, I find this disheartening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'll stay out of the thread.

However.

I am disappointed in this response because I think if you took the time to read the thread and see what was happening, you would see that this is a bunch of internet trolls pushing a very specific, misogynist agenda. I know I am not the only poster who feels this way, as I've seen a number of posts to this effect in the thread.

I am not even a fan of Blake Lively. I have been following this case and the thread because I care about the issues of sexual harassment and sexual assault. This is frustrating because I think by leaving the thread alone, I think it perpetuates attitudes about sexual violence that are harmful and allows lies to spread about not only this case (where Lively's actual allegations are constantly misrepresented) but also about what it means to be sexually harassed, what rights people (of any gender) have in a workplace, how people are treated when they come forward with allegations of harassment or assault, etc.

Most survivors of sexual violence are imperfect victims. They face these same attitudes every day and most of them don't have the resources or support than an actress like Lively has. Many survivors can't even gain the support of their family and friends because of the kinds of attitudes on display in that thread. It is heartbreaking to me.

+1 It's like we've learned absolutely nothing from the Depp/Heard case. Given everything we're dealing with lately that's just blatantly anti-woman, I find this disheartening.

I also agree. Jeff, I get that you’re overwhelmed—and I strongly support your approach to moderation overall—but this is extraordinarily damaging to women. I understand if you don’t have the time to monitor the thread, but if that’s the case, please consider locking or deleting it.

[Anonymous]

DP, but I don't blame Jeff for this and don't expect him to do anything besides look at posts that are flagged. It's OTHER WOMEN in that thread who going bananas. DCUM can be weird, man.

And if Jeff closes the thread, that one super angry woman is just going to post another one in two days, anyway.

I'm sorry, Jeff.

[jsteele]

Okay, I've locked that thread and I will summarily delete any future Blake Lively thread. For all those who are about to start complaining that the thread is locked, sorry. I can't please everyone.

The government is being taken over by a drug-addicted megalomaniac and airplanes are crashing into the Potomac. But apparently Blake Lively is the topic that I am supposed to spend my time on. Not going to do do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how else to handle this. Sorry.

The thread (https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1335/1253236.page) is being overrun by trolls posting misogynist, sexist comments that amount to "she asked for it." I had previously been reporting specific posts that crossed a line but it's too much now and a lot of them you have to read in context to understand how offensive they are.

Here is an example of a back and forth exchange so you can get a sense of what is happening. I've tried to identify poster to the best of my ability:

Poster 1: If this was real life harassment I would be more sympathetic. This was perceived harassment within a film, these were actors. Lively was acting a part, Baldino was acting a part. This is SH within a fantasy.

Poster 2 (this is me): This does not make sense. A film set is a real place. Most of the alleged harassment happened outside of scenes they were filming together. You sound like you have no idea what you are talking about.
Lively is alleging "real life harassment."

Poster 3: +1000. What is your answer for them talking to her about their p*rn consumption habits and the guy barging into her trailer demanding to talk to her when she was topless?
She asked for it? That's what acting is?

Poster 1 or new poster: Her door locked, no?

Poster 2 (me again): Heath walked in on her in the makeup trailer having body makeup removed. It wasn't even her trailer and she was topless because the makeup people were working on her. She asked him to leave and he wouldn't, so she asked him to turn around and then caught him looking at her bare breasts.

Poster 1 or new poster: Ok so what. This is like a porn star complaining that a male actor saw her naked.

Poster 2 (me again): It is not like that at all. It's like an actress in a makeup trailer having body makeup removed asked for privacy from the film's producer and he refused to give it to her.
This wasn't a porno.

Poster 1 or new poster: She agreed to have body paint, so was she topless in the movie? She agreed to this.[/I]

So it's either one or more posters who are just responding to every single post with some variation on "she asked for it." Comparing this movie (which is not a pornography and doesn't even feature and full nudity in the film) to a porno. Blaming her for failing to lock her door. Ignoring facts that posters are sharing that contradict this narrative, not even acknowledging or engaging with them, to continue to push this narrative of "she asked for it."

I don't know what else to do at this point. I know I should leave the thread altogether for my own sanity but also others should not have to see this kind of blatant trolling, it's deeply offensive and hurtful to survivors of sexual violence regardless of whether they happen to agree with Blake Lively's pending sexual harassment lawsuit.

I'm a survivor of both sexual harassment and rape and I think you're the most problematic person on that thread.

[Anonymous]

Respectful. The same people who keep closing the thread are the very posters who keep derailing it by accusing other of misogyny when we are trying to maintain a discussion of the legal case. It shouldn’t be locked and they can chose not to participate if they are offended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Respectful. The same people who keep closing the thread are the very posters who keep derailing it by accusing other of misogyny when we are trying to maintain a discussion of the legal case. It shouldn’t be locked and they can chose not to participate if they are offended.

Respectfully, sorry. The thread should be left open, there is obviously a lot of interest in the topic and it isn’t fair to allow the same one or two individuals to keep shutting it down.

[Anonymous]

Jeff I was in that thread today (and for the record have no problem with you locking it). And while yes, the world is on fire, I think it is long overdue to point out a pattern that occurs in the entertainment forum. A pattern not entirely divorced from the world being on fire.

Look up the top 20 threads with the most comments here on DCUM. How many of them are about a woman?

How many threads in entertainment have to be closed down due to rampant sexism that goes on for sometimes hundreds of pages before its locked.

Kate Middleton, Megan Markle, Angelina Jolie, Hilaria, Danni Starr back in the Kane Show drama, etc etc. This happens over and over and over and over again.

I understand the entertainment forum is fluff that you aren't generally interested in, but trolls take advantage of that to post absolutely obscene content there. I don't know what the solution is but I might suggest that any thread that is about a woman gets a limit on pages.

I spent time arguing on that stupid thread today because I am a woman and directly effected by all this hateful sh*t going on in the world and just literally could not stand by and watch someone spew sexist s**t into the air without being called out AGAIN. I feel like a blanket policy would help but this happens over and over and over and over again and it's effed up. I know its not your fault, but I just feel like you should have some kind of policy about it because it happens a LOT.

[Anonymous]

Great, so we can't have a separate thread focusing on just the legal elements, and all future Blake threads are banned? This sucks. I honestly think the OP is the troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how else to handle this. Sorry.

The thread (https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1335/1253236.page) is being overrun by trolls posting misogynist, sexist comments that amount to "she asked for it." I had previously been reporting specific posts that crossed a line but it's too much now and a lot of them you have to read in context to understand how offensive they are.

Here is an example of a back and forth exchange so you can get a sense of what is happening. I've tried to identify poster to the best of my ability:

Poster 1: If this was real life harassment I would be more sympathetic. This was perceived harassment within a film, these were actors. Lively was acting a part, Baldino was acting a part. This is SH within a fantasy.

Poster 2 (this is me): This does not make sense. A film set is a real place. Most of the alleged harassment happened outside of scenes they were filming together. You sound like you have no idea what you are talking about.
Lively is alleging "real life harassment."

Poster 3: +1000. What is your answer for them talking to her about their p*rn consumption habits and the guy barging into her trailer demanding to talk to her when she was topless?
She asked for it? That's what acting is?

Poster 1 or new poster: Her door locked, no?

Poster 2 (me again): Heath walked in on her in the makeup trailer having body makeup removed. It wasn't even her trailer and she was topless because the makeup people were working on her. She asked him to leave and he wouldn't, so she asked him to turn around and then caught him looking at her bare breasts.

Poster 1 or new poster: Ok so what. This is like a porn star complaining that a male actor saw her naked.

Poster 2 (me again): It is not like that at all. It's like an actress in a makeup trailer having body makeup removed asked for privacy from the film's producer and he refused to give it to her.
This wasn't a porno.

Poster 1 or new poster: She agreed to have body paint, so was she topless in the movie? She agreed to this.[/I]

So it's either one or more posters who are just responding to every single post with some variation on "she asked for it." Comparing this movie (which is not a pornography and doesn't even feature and full nudity in the film) to a porno. Blaming her for failing to lock her door. Ignoring facts that posters are sharing that contradict this narrative, not even acknowledging or engaging with them, to continue to push this narrative of "she asked for it."

I don't know what else to do at this point. I know I should leave the thread altogether for my own sanity but also others should not have to see this kind of blatant trolling, it's deeply offensive and hurtful to survivors of sexual violence regardless of whether they happen to agree with Blake Lively's pending sexual harassment lawsuit.

I'm a survivor of both sexual harassment and rape and I think you're the most problematic person on that thread.

Agree, even if her recaps of the thread are misleading.