When your 20 yr old is a bully
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Anonymous
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My daughter is teetering on being a bully. Maybe that is not the right word but she is very confrontational when things are not to her liking. For example, I want to take her out for a nice NYE dinner tomorrow night but she is insistent that we before 7. She works out and said she will be starving. I do not want to be rushed. She can have a snack until then.
I am trying hard to hold back and not be reactive. This younger generation is so emboldened with the need for immediate response and reactions. I am happy to have NYE dinner on my own if this is the way she treats me. Just a vent. |
Anonymous
| She's 20? Maybe she wants to go out with her friends for NYE? |
Anonymous
OP here. Yes, her friends are all coming by over to our place after dinner before their party. |
Anonymous
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20s year olds are hungry before 7. I never met a young person who wasn't. If the usual dinner hour is 6 or 7, and she has a party that night, why on earth would you be a jerk and shove everything back? Why can't YOU enjoy a meal at 6 or 7? Why would you feel rushed?
Sorry, but I side with your adult child here. |
Anonymous
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Unless you have more evidence of her bullying you, this is very much not it, OP. You're being a an entitled old fart. Maybe she's pushing back because you always do this, and expect another adult to kow-tow to your needs. Heads-up, this is not how relationships work with other adults. Your child is not a 3 year old you can just cart around.
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Anonymous
OP here again. I love how this board is ruthless  I have other examples, but my main point is the way that she blows up my phone with text messages and multiple phone calls within a span of 30 mins to get her way.
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Anonymous
| Why would you be rushed to get to a 7pm dinner? |
Anonymous
Maybe speak to her face-to-face? |
Anonymous
| Sounds like you should have set more firm boundaries earlier in her life. Why does she think she can persist until you give up? |
Anonymous
| I think it’s pretty rude. OP doesn’t have to take her out for a nice dinner at all. If her plans are incompatible with the invitation, she should just say that and decline. |
Anonymous
Like I said, I am just venting. DCUM is a safe space to vent. When you set clear boundaries, there is always resistance. I am an only parent and have shouldered being a mom, dad, and sibling for at least 10 years. |
Anonymous
On one hand, I agree, but on the other hand, the daughter already had plans made with friends that she needs to be back for. Why is 7 PM rushing OP? Seems as if they’re in one big power struggle. |
Anonymous
So you just want people to agree with you |
Anonymous
| The way she treats you is not the way she treats the rest of the world. Maybe you just don't have a great relationship. |
Anonymous
No, I appreciate all of the feedback. |