Mid-40 married colleagues suddenly making passes

[Anonymous]

I’ve had a few married male colleagues make passes at me in the last couple of years. These are people I’ve known for 5-10 years, and they never pulled this stuff in the past. I’m happily married, haven’t changed anything about my appearance or behavior. I have a (also married) friend who, too, recently got a few overly suggestive comments from a married college guy friend of hers.

Is this something that just happens with people in their mid-40s? They start hitting on friends and colleagues, totally disregarding their own and the other person’s married status?

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Are you showing more cleavage lately? Dropped a few pounds?

[Anonymous]

People absolutely hit the deck in mid-life. They start looking around and thinking, is this all there is? And the behavior gets wild. I’m sure you’re a cutie! But if it’s any consolation it’s not about you, it’s about them and their inner stuff. Obviously give them a wide berth.

[Anonymous]

Men who have done a poor job of tending to their own marriages taking the easy road trying to line you or some other woman up as a side piece.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men who have done a poor job of tending to their own marriages taking the easy road trying to line you or some other woman up as a side piece.

You say it like it's a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

This is a thing! I'm 50 and have had several friends and colleagues I've known for 20+ years suddenly indicate interest in an affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People absolutely hit the deck in mid-life. They start looking around and thinking, is this all there is? And the behavior gets wild. I’m sure you’re a cutie! But if it’s any consolation it’s not about you, it’s about them and their inner stuff. Obviously give them a wide berth.

both men and women seem to act this way

[Anonymous]

It’s absolutely a thing. I’m early 40’s and definitely have been on the receiving end of some brazen behavior by married men (I’m married too). Statistically, most affairs happen in the 40’s-50’s. Mostly midlife crisis stuff but boredom in marriage really sets in around these ages, so there is just more flirtation and wandering eyes in general. I think it’s because people believe it’s their time for a last hurrah before everything goes downhill.

[Anonymous]

They. Think you are more desperate “at your age”.

Also they hit on lots of people it’s not just you.

It’s like putting out feelers.

Men are pathetic in their mid 40’s when they get less attention from their wife because kids are a lot of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They. Think you are more desperate “at your age”.

Also they hit on lots of people it’s not just you.

It’s like putting out feelers.

Men are pathetic in their mid 40’s when they get less attention from their wife because kids are a lot of work.

Yea, it’s the worst part. Instead of investing their time into kids, these duds wonder around. My exH was exact same. He’s now dating a 20-years younger woman with 2 kids and I can’t stop laughing - he’s a short tempered, terrible father. It’s only a matter of time (when the hormones settle and she’s more dependent on him) when he starts screaming at her and her kids.

[Anonymous]

Idk I’ve been hit on my entire corporate life in my early 50s now but I’m Asian so I look younger.

[Anonymous]

But..but I was told we become invisible at this age?

[Anonymous]

Typical mid life crisis unfolding. A guy has been married 20 years and he and his wife have become roommates. His career has stalled and his body isn’t what it use to be. He’s looking around to see if a woman isn’t happy with her lot in life and might be interested in some mattress mayhem. I’ve seen this quite a lot in our town with plenty of divorces with the mid to late 40s group. I’m past that age range but when I was in it I experienced guys making passes. They thought they were subtle but it was pretty obvious. Thankfully none of them were good friends which would have been a problem.

[Anonymous]

I am 45 and I don't think its common for us to be looking at other married women. Perhaps the women in their 40s are begging for attention as well and "seeing things" that are not there.