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my spouse is careless and it drives me crazy
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Anonymous
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So, I just learned that my DH just - literally - broke a crucial piece of equipment on our car that we are literally about to trade-in. It wasn't like he got in an accident. He forced it into gear when he shouldn't have and broke the gear box. I feel like I could throttle him. I'm trying to be patient, but this is one of a dozen instances where he treats our belongings like throw-aways, and I've really had it. He told me last week we needed a new keyboard for a computer we have, which we might use a few hours a week total. My laptop gets easily 2 hours of daily use and it is fine. He says it is because the keys are sticking. I can't see why they would be - since we rarely use the computer - unless he DID something to it. I could go on and on.
The worst part is, every time something like this happens, I basically have to drag out of him what actually happened. For instance, tonight the conversation started out with him telling me he had bad news - that the car had died. But it didn't. He broke it. Anyone else have success dealing with a similar situation? I've tried to bring this up before and he just gets frustrated and tells me these things are accidents. If he put 20 seconds of thought into what he was doing once in a while, it would save us thousands of dollars. He just gets really impatient in situations and makes stupid decisions - which is likely what happened tonight. |
Anonymous
| Hey! You've just described DW. One-woman wrecking crew. |
Anonymous
| I can see why you have to drag it out of him. You are so angry about his mistakes that he does not want to be open with you about them. |
Anonymous
| My husband painted some rooms for us while I was out of town. Because he couldn't immediately figure out how to get the towel racks of the wall, he literally "ripped" them from drywall, leaving huge, raggedly holes. SO weird and inconceivable that he couldn't look underneath to see the teeny screws that anchored them to the sconces. My god. |
Anonymous
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DH was annoyed that our microwave beeped if you didn't take food out right away. So he ripped the sound card out of it. Which, in turn, short-circuited the microwave.
Since the microwave was broken, he thought he could use my food processor to chop up a solid brick of frozen ground beef. So that's broken now too. |
Anonymous
| My dh is somewhat similar. his big thing is to rush into repair projects without reading directions, consulting a book or the internet, etc. he usually ends up screwing something up and we have to pay big bucks to a pro to fix the original problem, plus whatever else he's done to screw things up. |
Anonymous
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I have sympathy for both parties. Your DH does sound careless. On the other hand, you sound like someone who assigns blame even for accidents. I grew up with a parent like this and it was NOT FUN. Cars and computers break down. They are money down the toilet, OP. You can't get this angry because they break down, even if it is "not an accident."
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Anonymous
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Sorry, OP, but it seems you're not going to get any advice here--just sympathetic vents from similarly situated pps. So here's mine...
DH left the sunroof open (which he constantly does, and rolls his eyes when I tell him not to) during one of the recent storms. Had to spend $250 to get the pools of water out and have it detailed so it wouldn't get mold. Also, DH has a disorder, apparently, that prevents him from locking the car doors. Yes, we live in a very nice suburb, but it's not Mayberry!! He's had stuff stolen out of it twice! (His car charger, sunglasses, change, cds, etc.) I tried to get back at him once and when I noticed that his car was unlocked I went in and took a bunch of stuff. We went to the mall later that day and he went into the apple store and bought a new car charger. I asked him what happened to his old one and he LIED and said it broke! Boy did I let him have it... |
Anonymous
| If his keyboard sticks, it's because he spilled something on it. DH has done this a bunch. |
Anonymous
| Wow, I didn't know how lucky I am. Sounds like many of you have a DH who is also your grown child. |
Anonymous
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Well since you married Mr Destructo either get him things to use that are super durable... or so cheap/crappy that it doesn't matter if he breaks it.
Like for your sticky keyboard? They sell these awesome bendable ones for around $10 to $20 depending on where you look. -Signed, I'm Married to A Chronic Cell Phone Destroyer |
Anonymous
My thoughts exactly. |
Anonymous
I just burst out laughing at your post. I love the last sentence! |
Anonymous
Said the two people who don't get it. |
Anonymous
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Oh gosh, PPs, I feel for you. I would go berserk if DH was like this.
My DH is the opposite, very obsessive compulsive: if a towel falls on the floor, it HAS to go in the wash right away. He cannot walk in our shoes-off house without his special house shoes, because he still thinks the floor is dirty. We are not allowed to approach the dining table when he cleans it at the end of the day, for fear of - what? getting soap on ourselves? dirt on the table? who knows. Crazy, I tell you. Any way, OP. No advice just sympathy. |