ED regret?
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Anonymous
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So my kids (twins) submitted ED applications to their favorite schools and now it's a day later and I think everyone is having slight regrets.
They were their top schools (and we visited a lot) but they liked other schools as well. One submitted ED to a top15. Amazing school. But now he's wondering if he should have just stuck with EA options and that he might prefer a larger, state school. SIGH. I know the chances of ED working out are slim-to-none. But it's a lot of pressure on a kid to have to pin down a choice after only seeing it once for a few hours. Anyone else with a kid in this position? |
Anonymous
| I wish my DC submitted an ED application to one of his top schools but he didn’t. The added boost might have put him over the edge for acceptance. The grass is always greener. |
Anonymous
| Just stop with the FOMO. |
Anonymous
| Many ED applicants have regrets, especially in the spring when they see their peers deciding among their options. If your kid really regrets it, it’s not too late to pull it. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
This. Let your kid sit with his decision for the next week. If he still regrets in a week, then consider pulling the ED application or converting it to RD. |
Anonymous
| ED anxiety is more like it… “did I overreach, will I really get in even with ED?” |
Anonymous
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Empathize with your DC. Applying ED was a big decision. And feeling nervousness, panic, annd even regret after a big decision is normal for many people (“buyer’s regret”). But it’s just a feeling - and not a sign that we made a mistake. I think of the feeling as my mind’s way of recognizing that an action I (thoughtfully) took could have a big impact going forward. (I’m someone who loves having options and control, so a commitment like ED would likely stress me out, too … temporarily.)
I’d recommend 30% empathizing, 30% validation, and 40% expressing trust in DC’s process and judgment. Staying steady (you’re the adult) and modeling positive self-talk is often a good idea when our DCs are second-guessing themselves. Maybe something like, “Yeah, I know it feels uncomfortable and even a bit scary right now. It was a big decision! But I’m so impressed by how thoughtful and mature you were in the way you got there. It’s ok to feel nervous after a big decision. But remember you’re a smart kid with great judgment. Trust yourself. I do!” |
Anonymous
| Your kid can and should still apply to other schools. They would need to pull their applications if they get accepted ED. |
Anonymous
| I told DS - if it is meant to be, then you'll get in and it's the best school for you. If you don't get in, it wasn't the right fit. |
Anonymous
Applying ED isn't required. If it wasn't obvious based on the information they had, don't apply ED. |
Anonymous
Exactly the advice my mom had for me many years ago. My ED school rejected me, but the college where I went ended up being a much better fit. |
Anonymous
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Not regrets. Both got into their T20 ED schools, which were perfect for them. But I think they both would have liked to have shot their shot at MIT and Stanford. Didn't happen because of the ED acceptances. There are worse problems to have
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Anonymous
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No regrets at all. But we talked about it ad nauseum before final decision was made. DC applied ED to a target/slight reach that we think is very attainable but even moreso with ED boost. Will have no regrets if it works out.
And if it doesn’t, then will forge ahead with EA and RD options. |
Anonymous
| DD is a sophomore at her ED school - very happy |